Christmas Day

Merry Christmas to all! Today started out with myself waking up at the ungodly hour of 7:30 to open gifts, then I went to Dan's house to let Chelsea out. My Daddy was supposed to come that morning to hang out for a bit...but he never showed up :(. I called him and left messages but nada. So while Mike, Mom, Cary, and I were driving to VA to see my Grandparents, Aunt, and Uncle he called and asked if we could meet him at Grandma's. We saw him there after we were done eating but it was awkward cause he can't come inside cause my Papa doesn't like him very much :P. Anyway, i got some nice gifts. My favourite would have to be the headbands I got, they are gorgeous! ^__^. I had made a list for my family because they asked me too before Christmas...but i didn't get anything on my list XD. I was a little disappointed about it...but i can't say I didn't see it coming, they did that last year too :P.
I got a TON of books. Books about Amish people, books I've already read XD. Kinda a fail, but i bought myself Angels and Demons and the Three Musketeers :). I don't want to seem ungrateful for the books I got...but I can tell I'm just not gonna read them XD.
Tomorrow My brother and I are going to the Mall to shop the sales! LOL. I wish I could see Dan on Christmas but we has families stuff to attend to :P I miss him lots. LOVE YOU DAN! i think you're the only one reading this anymore XD. If you even still read it :P

caryatid

:(

I know yesterday I had some fun but it was short-lived. I NEED MORE OF IT. I feel really lonely, i can't use the car (mom has it right now) no one seems to ever text me back. I kinda feel like I'm being shunned :( although i don't think that's true. So far this break has been kinda shitty :P
Highlight of the day: Paige giving me my gift :)

caryatid

Avatar

Beautiful movie, the picture was so cool to look at. I absolutely loved it. Although this movie was showing the people of Pandora, I think it's a lot more about Pandora itself. IDK if anyone will understand what I mean by saying that but i'll give it try. I think it was more about the Planet because of the setting. Everything was always so beautiful. If there was a shot of the people flying; the background would be so pretty I couldn't even watch the people. Also how the Naavi people were connected to everything by their hairstrands. They could connect to the animals and the Earth. I enjoyed this movie a lot :).
So far break has been boring, but tonight made everything a lot more fun because I was with people. Originally I was supposed to see Avatar with Derrick and friends. But tonight I went with Eric, Nic, Dan, Peter, and Ryan. Afterwords we went to McDonald's and I saw Derrick and his brother Alex. I felt bad that I didn't see it with him. But we couldn't yesterday because of the snow :(.
Everything's been really chill. No drama for me, no expectations. College stuff almost complete. Everythings going fine. I just hope it stays that way til after break :).
AND I NEED TO DANCE!!! I need to go to a party ASAP. ferrealllll :D:D:D::D

caryatid

Season's Greetings

Today I woke up at about 12 and looked outside my door to see about a foot of snow! Then I become blinded by the light and fall over and hit my face on a table. Now there is a scratch on my cheek :(. It's kinda funny, but it hurt XD. I finished my William and Mary and Marymount Manhattan essays, now i just have to send em in ^__^. Gosh everything's been working out lately and today I'm smiling :D. I kinda miss hanging out with people. This week I've been really distant. I'm not sure why...maybe it's because I was so stressed about all my projects, or maybe it's because i have a new obsession for Vampire Diaries! Whatever it is, I'm stopping it and hanging out with people XD. It's only the first day of Winter Break and I can already tell that this break was much needed ^__^.
My Granddad wants to take the family to England because a lot of us have never been before. I would LOVE to go if he decides that's what we're doing this summer. I'm really excited for the future ^__^

caryatid

100th post!

WOWzers, I never thought i'd make it to this number! haha, i actually just never even thought about making to to any number...Anyway this past week has gone by VERY SLOWLY. I mean it's only Tuesday but i want it to be Friday soooo bad. Today in Global Studies Sof was a COMPLETE asshole to the first group to present this big project. They didn't have a laptop so he freaked out on them. It's not their fault for not being able to get a laptop, that shits expensive! I felt so bad and a lot of the class did too. Tomorrow Taylor and I go to present and I'm kinda nervous. I really hope everything works out fine for this project because I definitely do not want to deal with the wrath of Sof.
I did my Speech in Speech class today. It was on War of the Worlds because we just watched that film and have to tell about our favourite scene...it was an OK speech...I definitely could have done better. It's all over now :P. In Ap Lit I was told I looked like i was concentrating on something really hard XD Or like I had a lot on my mind. And apparently I've been very quiet lately...I do not notice this change in myself! In physics Derrick and I just passed notes and watched Mythbusters. Turns out your water heater can blow through your house like a rocket!
Play Practice today was SO BORING. I hate not doing anything, I want something to say! I want a part and I expected a part. I hate it. But it's not gonna get better if i just talk about how much i hate it. I just need to think that this musical will be fun and it will be :) New philosophy thanks to Derrick and Petruchio XD.
I'm reading Taming of the Shrew and The Joy Luck Club so expect characters from them popping up in here every once in a while XD.
Today I got Dan's gift in the mail. i have to return it though because I fail :(
I've been watching Vampire Diaries recently, it's a pretty good show :)
I also need to work on my Senior Paper -_- this is gonna suck with no printer T_T I can't do everything again, but it always ends up working out...someway.
I need to party this break. really really need too

caryatid

Crunchy Leaves Make me Smile

Today was...alright. Project still not perfect -_-. School computers suck. Technology sucks. Sof's just gonna have to deal with it cause we TRIED EVERYTHING :P. I'm siked for Winter Break. I really need this right now :) Even if i have to spend it alone...actually I'll be kinda pissed if i have to spend my break alone but whatevs XD. I won't be, hopefully. I just don't have any money to go out and party with people. I still don't know what I'm doing for New Years. I want to go have fun :) I think I will.
Still upset about Annie -_- I know i have no control over everything that's happened, i just wish I could have been given a chance. I know I can do really well and no one's ever given me the chance to try. I hate that. The casting doesn't make sense to me, but whatever they think is best is what's gonna happen -_-. I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE. Maybe if I say it enough i'll actually start not caring....I DON'T CARE...nope not working. I do care :P
I'm still having issues with having girlfriends. I don't feel lonely, but I miss that feeling of girl talk. I know I talk the same with boys, i just wish i had a Paige with me a lot. Britt and I are just not talking...ever i think. She was a good friend to me when I didn't have a boyfriend, or when I was lesser than her. Once I had something better than her we started to grow apart. And i didn't really care. I always thought if I lost a friend as close as Britt I would care a lot. But it honestly did not effect me...like at all. I just wanted things to be better between us but they never got better. So i stopped trying. I know part of me having friends involves me TRYING to make them. But I guess i'm just in my comfort zone right now and I don't want to let any new people into my life and try to established a nice friendship yaknow?
I need to email my guidance counselor college stuff.


caryatid

Fuck It All

Wow the Annie Cast is really gonna suck. Really considering quitting, but everyones like NOOOOO BLAHBLAHBLAH. I don't give a shit. I'm nothing, it sucks. Don't say "i'm sorry" cause you may care but that's not gonna help me boost my ego. Give me a hug instead bitch. I want to quit really bad, but i also want to stay...I don't know why, because i'm not getting anything out of it. -_-
Watching Glee right now. it's totally not going to make me happier. I think I'll be bitchy for aboutttt a week or so. Until I find something that makes me happy.
Finished the Da Vinci Code. It was good. I'm now reading The Joy Luck Club :). I'm happy about that. Kinda
Wow I never thought this would bring me down so much. I just actually expected a part and i guess you have to learn not to expect anything. Whatever


caryatid

The Age of Innocence

I want to read that book. Almost done The Da Vinci Code. It's amazing how much I didn't know XD. I can't wait to read Angels and Demons, I should have read that one first but i do not own that one just yet. Today I slept til 11:45 when i heard a knock on the door. But I didn't answer the first knock because i was sleeping hoping whoever was there would go away. Then they knocked again. So I went downstairs and a cop car was out front pulling away...So i thought that was strange...a cop knocked on my door? i wonder why? So I call my mom and she was like WHAT did they leave anything? And i told her they did not. But when my mom got home she mentioned something about these charges, and told me not to worry about it? Whatevs. I'm not gonna worry. hopefully.
Tomorrow Taylor is coming around 3 to work on our project. Maybe if we get done early we can go to the mall or something ^__^. I want to find ideas for Dan's XMAS gift. And I'll have to remember that he doesn't read -_-. Unless its about David Bowie. Or if Mrs. Butler gives him something to read.
I think I have Carpel Tunnel in my Pinkey finger >.< it doesn't go straight on it's own T_T_T_T. not gonna worrry.
I'm pretty anxious to see how the musical turns out >.< i thought i knew who was gonna get who, but now i have no idea. :P I really wish my Guidance Counselor would come to school to help me with my college shit T_T she wasn't in school alll week so I'm FREAKINGGG sighsighsigh

caryatid

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

Robert Frost is surprisingly pessimistic. Haha I always thought he was optimistic, I'm looking at his poems in a whole different way now :). And I kinda like it. Today were auditions for Annie. I did well, i could have done better. But i did well enough. We'll see the results next week :).
In first period Taylor and I got bitched at by Sof. because we have a week more to do our project but it's not good enough yet. Whatever, I wasn't even there yesterday so i'm kinda pissed because I do good in school. I don't get that kinda shit everyday. I think he was just in a pissy mood because all the computers were down, but seriously don't take it out on the kids because us seniors have enough to worry about right now. Like out FUTURES -_-. Dr. Wolffs classes were relaxing. Thank God I have two classes with her this semester. We're watching "The Searchers" in Speech. I kinda like it...haha John Wayne is so funny XD. "That'll be the day!" LOL
Physics was cool, we learned stuff about surfers. And we watched the Perfect Storm. Mark Wahlburg is kinda attractive. I never noticed before XD FAIL.
My mom bitched at me today too for not having a job. I want to do the musical and if I get a part I don't want to get a job. I have schoolwork to do. And if i get a job it'll just be wasting my time. Like my mom was saying "when i was 16 I had a job and i worked all the time YOU SHOULD TOO TO FUCKING HELP ME PAY THE BILLS!" my response? "yea but you got shitty grades" and i wish i added "and you never had to work and give all your earned money to your Mom. This isn't the 1900s. I don't want to waste my time working for her. Then i wouldn't get much time to be with Dan, or social time for friends, or be able to keep any of my money for bday or xmas presents. Whenever i get money, mom just has to steal it. IT SUCKS SO MUCH. I want to get my friends gifts, and i want to buy them stuff when i have money but i can't with her taking it all! I feel like a loser -_-. I just want to move out and go to college(cause she won't be paying for it), and making my own money that I get to keep ALLLL to myself. It's sad that i don't know what it feels like to keep the money you earn. :(


caryatid

Ring Pops

I've decided that this is Dan and I.
Today started out kinda nice. We got a project in Global Studies, which is kinda a bummer. But then AP Lit wasn't too bad. Dissecting Robert Frost haha. Lunch was nice, i started a ring pop and didn't finish it til Physics XD. My mouth was completely blue by the time workshops started XD. The dance was surprisingly easy. I was expecting something really hard so :). The songs I'm ok with. I can sing it awesome a few times, but if i keep going my voice starts to get scratchy :P. I'm pretty excited for this year because(i know this sounds bad XD) but all the seniors are gone, and they were the ones who got all the parts. So hopefully I get a nice part now that I have a chance ^__^. When I got home today, I went straight to sleep and only woke up for Mac and Cheese, and Gossip Girl. Can't wait til next weeks show!!!! :D. I slept with this candle on in my room, and it makes everything smell really nice. It's Black Cherry ^__^. Well I'm going to workshops tomorrow as well, so hopefully I can improve :). Auditions Thursday with Derrick!

caryatid

Aim, Snap, WIN

Finished application for George Mason, James Madison, and Drexel! Now I'm excited :D, it was surprisingly way easier than I thought it would be :). Right now I'm listening to Bad Romance, I think it's my favourite song (along with Just Dance) from Lady Gaga. My hair's straight today and idk if I want it to be curly or not. Hmph. Today should be fun, idk why I'm writing a Blog this early. Probably just to show that I finished my essays XD.
O! My dream last night was soooo strange!! Ok so Dan, Eric, Amber, and I were in NYC. We were making a documentary about some people but we accidentally got split up. So Amber and I were in Chinatown and we saw a church of lesbian women led by the Disney Asian go by and we made a documentary on them XD. And then we decided that getting lost is really fun, so we stayed in a random hotel.
Then my other dream I was at my Grandma and Papa's house. I started to hear some meowing and fighting sounds so I went into the basement and outside was there new cat Jimmy(they really don't have a new cat though. This is a dream XD) fighting this Momma Cat, and it had babies who were badly hurt. So she brought them inside. I told Jimmy to go away and he did. Then I called down my Papa and I was crying cause I didn't know what to do with the hurt baby kittens. They were so cute!!!T_T and then we got a box and put a blanket on the bottom and carefully picked them up and into the box with the Momma Cat. Then we took them to a rescue center to be fixed up ^__^
I FELT LIKE A HERO ^__^

caryatid

Black Friday

So Veronica asked me to help her work at St.John's today. So I was excited and said YES because I've always wanted to work in retail. So we leave at about 11 pm for the outlets. And employees had to park all the way at Grasonville Elementary and take a shuttle bus to the outlets because there were so many people waiting for the midnight shopping! It took a thirty minutes to go 5 miles. Once we finally get there everythings going pretty slow, but eventually all the crazy Asian woman start to come and they fit like 3 people in one little itty bitty dressing room! IT'S CRAZY. And they're fiesty! At around 3-4am it starts to rain and get really cold, so there's like noone left at the outlets, so Vero and I walk around and she bought a shirt at pacsun for 6 bucks ^__^. I have no money so FAIL but I should be getting money from working til 7am soon XD.
When I got home I fell asleep til about 2:30. Then I cleaned my room and it looks NIIIICE :D I enjoy cleaning. I really want to start on more college essays but I'm afraid I'll get tired and won't finish them :P
It's super windy out! But the water looked really cool today cause the sun was out. Haven't seen that in awhile XD. Tomorrow's the cast party and I'm making Rice Krispie Treats!:D I looooooooooove themmmmmm SO I'M PRETTY EXCITEDDDD :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
au revoir

caryatid

Thanksgiving

I AM THANKFUL FOR MY BF DAN ^___^
and my hilariously Republican family XD
Also, I'm thankful for good friends.
Those seem like the average what everyone should say...sooOOOOOoOoo
I'm thankful for my soap, it makes me clean.
I'm thankful for my laptop, it keeps me connected.
I'm thankful for myself, because i love myself...
I'm thankful for my Brain, it's quite bright.
I'm thankful for my candle, it's making stuff smell nice.
And I'm thankful for life.


caryatid

Do You Ever Live in the Past?

Today I think I've been living in the past. I've just been remembering a lot of things from Summer 2009. It's kinda hard to think about Summer 2009 because it wasn't my best Summer experience. I found out some heartbreaking information, I lost my best friend, and I didn't do everything I wanted to :/. But it would never call it a "bad" summer. This is my Senior year and I know I'm always talking about it in here...but isn't senior year supposed to be fun? Isn't it supposed to be your best experience from High School?! If you were to ask me today "which year was my favourite" I wouldn't be able to give you an answer because I loved them all! Freshman year I discovered that there are a lot more awesome people than the bitches who are graduating with me. Sophomore year I discovered new people that I grew very close too :). And Junior Year I started dating Dan. But Senior year so far...I've been in a play...and I've applied to college...Yea. Hopefully it gets more exciting XD
Workshops for the Musical are on Monday and Tuesday ^__^ I'm really excited for this because i'm hoping I get a part so I can be like " Yea my senior year i was ... in the musical!" haha XD
i watched My Neighbour Totoro today ^__^


caryatid

Deadlines

Wow, my mother really knows how to make every situation into a nightmare. She managed to make me cry all the while I was trying to show her what I've been doing with all my applications. My Dad made me feel soooo much better though. It's good to know at least SOMEONE is supporting what I actually want and not trying to force me to be in a feggin VIRGINIA school. It's not that I think Virginia schools are bad, I think they're really good. I just would rather be somewhere else...Like Annapolis, or NYC perhaps? Pretty much done application for GMU and Drexel. Now all I need is those damn essays -_-. I don't think I'm gonna be able to get all of my applications in by December 1st. And I guess that's ok, just makes the financial part of college a little more difficult :/. I guess I should be blaming this on my procrastination. But I don't procrastinate that baddd! I've just been kinda busy :/.
Well today was the last day of Harvey, and all the Seniors got to go out and get recognised. It was really nice to be standing out there with everyone :). But it's also kinda saddening, because today I was texting Dan about how my mom was making me so upset...and he was like "well if you go to a Virginia school I can still be close to you" and that made me kinda sad :/ i just wish I could make 50,000 dollars a year to go to Annapolis -_-.
Annie auditions are coming up soon, hopefully I can have fun with it and get a big part ^___^


caryatid

You Are the Only Exception

Woke up from a terrible nightmare this morning :(. I haven't had one of those in a while. Then I was late to school :P, but Veronica drove me so it's ok ^__^. But I didn't get to see Dan this morning :P made my day just a little less awesome. Then I fell down the stairs after Speech and now have a giant bruise on my shin...again -_-. I probably looked like a clumsy person T_T I wanna be graceful! Then I read The Awakening while i was home. A lot of people say that they don't enjoy the book, but I actually love it. I like how the women is being oppresses and she's starting to realize it, and to change that. Hopefully I can find an academic journal and finish writing a rough draft and a college essay so i can apply before Dec 1st for scholarships :P College applications are starting to catch up to me and I DO NOT LIKE THAT. Stresses the FUCK outta me. :/
I went for a run today, and my ears started to hurt cause i forgot to cover them :P. But it was a nice run ^__^. Also I hung with Paige, Phil, and Dan at Subway and Blockbuster, then we met Cat and Jiselle up at Dairy Queen. I love Jiselle and Cat they are so much fun!! And I need to watch a lot of movies MIDNIGHT SHOWING OF NEW MOON FRIDAY :D:D:D:D:D:D so excited. READY TO CRY XD.
Sometimes I wish i could know the truth about everything. Figure out when someone tells me a lie or doesn't tell me anything, that would be really nice. If I had a power i think i would choose the power of wisdom. I need me some wisdom, i hate how I'm perceived as naive. BECAUSE I'M NOT.
Church leaders trying to shut down our bible study, but we're resisting and I feel like a protestant XD.
I like the song "The Only Exception" by paramore ^__^ reminds me of my views on relationships...even though that's kinda sad.
Goals that I want to set for myself: Drive to downtown Annapolis ( I've never driven there yet XD), Get applications in by Dec 1st, Get a job during winter, find Dan a cool xmas gift :D


caryatid

Suddenly Everything has Changed

I feel so large.
I'm going to fix that.
I feel like I'm behind on everything.
I'm going to fix that.
I feel like i don't speak my mind as much as I should.
I'm going to fix that.

caryatid

Misguided Ghosts

I hate being so calm, i should try letting go every once in a while. Harvey's going well, i read backstage and do nothing after Act 1 Scene 1. LOL i didn't get the student Page position with the Maryland General Assembly -_- Andrew Fisher did of course. But I'm ok with that, because now I don't have to deal with another responsibility especially if I want to get a job after I'm done applying everywhere.
For the last week it's rained constantly, and the wind is so harsh it can lift you off your feet! Crazy. I've been listening to the song "misguided ghosts" by Paramore a lot lately. It makes me feel stable? i think that's the word.
I have to write an outline for my Senior Paper this weekend. Orlando is such a great book!I feel like I learned a lot from it :).

I'm just one of those ghosts
traveling endlessly
don't need no roads
infact they follow me
this is life
and pain is just a simple compromise


caryatid

Health

Alright, so lately I've been seriously lacking on my health. It's gotten bad, really really bad. I jiggle >.<. SO to fix that issue I've decided on making a workout plan! I think it will actually work because I did that a while back and then some and it worked! :D So hopefully I stay fit this fall/winter :).
Wicked was awesome! I love being in the city, and I think it's where I wanna be ^__^. Glinda was my favourite! She's so funny XD and I like the view of Oz. I would have never thought of it that way. Now I think I'll have to read the book ^__^ Haha, my book list is growing tremendously XD.
GLEE finally comes back on tonight :D I am totally pumped for that! XD OO and HARVEY is TOMORROWWWW. I feel like it all happened so fast! And I think everyone has improved greatly, buttttt I do still think the show isn't as funny as it could be. I do wish I had more parts in the play, but I also kinda like leaving early and having time to do homework.
I got two of my recommendations in to Sof and Wolff. I need to find Miss Blose but she got married, and is now Madame Corpella! Mrs. Brumbaugh is the french sub until she comes back from her Honeymoon ^__^.


Caryatid

Wicked

I'm excited for tomorrow. Last time i was in NYC was summer 2008 with Veronica! It'll be like a mini-vacation away from school lol.
Today went by REALLY REALLY slow...
There's a teacher at my school who's creepy.
I can't find my headphones.
I haven't felt this free in a while.
Although my back's in pain.
I still feel pretty great :)
Tomorrow will make it even better.


caryatid

q2q

I can't believe you would say those things. You're a lost cause to me now. I'm done trying. Sure I miss you, and you say you miss me. But that must have been a lie.
Are there any honest people left in this world?
I don't believe there are.
That frightens me, because i live off honestly. If you're to be trusted please stay true to me. If you're going to be a trickster...get out of my life now.
Q2Q today, fail. 3 hours late -_-
Excited for NYC Wednesday!
Life moves at you pretty fast. So if you don't stop to look around every once in awhile you might miss it.


Caryatid

Sweet Tea

Halloween is almost upon us! And applications deadlines are as well :/ I've decided not to apply Early Decision anywhere because of all the binding contracts, and I don't want to do that to myself lol. This blog helps me keep my mind in track because it's everywhere at once so I'm listing the colleges again because I've had some :)
Marymount Manhatten
St. Johns College
William and Mary
George Mason
James Madison
Drexel
The reason I'm applying to Drexel is because I want to see if I can get in and they gave me this special offer so I don't have to pay an application fee! :D Also St.Johns doesn't do application fees, so might as well apply :). I'm not gonna let my mother limit my choice of applying to where I actually want to go.
Today was supposed to be PhotoClub, butttt Sammy canceled it and we're not doing it every week now, we're just doing it every other week :P. I would have gladly taken over this week like I did last week but it's whatevs. I don't think Sammy realizes that I'm willing to help her XD haha.
People were giving me so many compliments today! I missed wearing crazy outfits. I know a while back I said I was going back to them, but this time I'M FERREAL. I forgot how good it made me feel to wear those things and to be myself instead of boring t-shirt and jeans girl :P.
OK tomorrow I'm giving SAT scores to Guidance and asking about recommendation forms because I REALLY NEED TO DO THATTT. AHHHHHHUGGGHH. hmph, I found a lot of new music the other day, I'm loving Couer de Pirate ^___^ makes me smile.
Tomorrow I have a Physics Midterm...that I just found out about today, grrrreat. O! and an Othello test for AP Lit. Should be kinda easy since we all studied today. I also need to find info for my persuasion Speech. And for Global studied we're painting Ceiling Tiles as our country's Flag. Costa Rica FTW! I hope to do well on everything tomorrow T_T.
I got my SAT scores back today :P. I pretty much did the same. It sucks. First time I took it I got a 1470, this time I got a 1480. I don't think my mom realizes that I can't do well without taking a prep course! I mean really? Just going into the SATs not knowing what to expect and not studying for them AT ALL. What is she thinking? I try to study alone but I can't do it right, because I don't know what'll be on the test :/. I blame it all on money. I bet if I had $300 to pay for the courses I would have done better on the SAT :P. Being a nonrichkid sucks :(
I think I'm going to start on some applications.
Forking Baseball canceling mah GLEE

caryatid

Sen10r

This picture reminds me of my friends ^___^
Today I took my senior pictures :). It's kind of exciting :D. Whenever I tell my family about certain colleges i like. They all looked shocked and then tell me I can't do that. I hate how everything i do has to be in a budget.I DON'T WANT TO BE IN A MOTHERFUCKING BUDGET. Ever since I was little i was told i could do ANYTHING, keeping me to a budget does not support that statement. So I'm saying fuck the budget, and applying to places i know I'll actually wanna go to. :P.
I'm going to Bible Study tonight! I love bible study, It's so nice. We're learning about the women of the bible right now and i love that! Cause you normally don't hear much about the women of the Bible.
Need to get started on Homework.

caryatid

Sick

Homecoming played the crappiest music in thee world. But I had a nice time at dindin with Dan, Paige, and Phil :D. And after the Dance at Casey's. And the next day with Dan...or "Nad" XD. So last night at 3:00 i woke up because my stomach hurt like hell. So i went into the bathroom because I was afraid I was going to barf...and sure enough about 5 minutes later I barf. UGH i hate that :( cause i have no control. I think it's cause i ate too much over the weekend. O well.
Today I stayed home, i'm feeling much better now. Mom handed in my scholarship application, hopefully i do well with it. I need to finish writing an essay for colleges. And i need to get recommendation forms in. :P i just kinda finshed p the Horatio Alger scholarship...butttt i decided not to do it because of what its asking for. I don't have that stuff :P. Elk's scholarship will do for now.
I had the craziest dream last night. It was like a story! When i woke up i wrote it all down so i wouldn't forget it! I'm gonna tell Dan about it later today :D. I wanna go on a walk, i think i will.
Tomorrow I have Senior Pictures! Hopefully they turn out nice :)


caryatid

Homecoming

I'm excited for tonight :D. I think it will be a lot of fun :D. My mom got on me soooo bad today about the shoes i was gonna wear...:P I guess now that I think about it...those shoes aren't the best i could have picked out XD but i still like them. So she gave me her old grandma shoes -_-. I'm not too thrilled to wear them :P. I straightened my hair! :D I think it will look good like that :). O! and mom's making me wear stockings. I kinda like those though. I just wish she wasn't such a complete BITCH. ugh.
Well the interview went well! And my project went well :D. so thumbs up for christieee woOOoOooOooO. hah.
I miss lily, and brittany. I wish lily never moved and stayed here with meeee T_T. And i wish Britt and I never lost touch, because now she's...i don't even know. I wanna hang out again because it's britt! It's always been Christie and Britt. Now it's Christie and Dan. and Brittany and Mason...No more Christie and Britt :(. But it's ok, i figured it'd be hard to stay in touch after high school anyway...No actually, i never thought it would be hard to stay in touch with Brittany sighsighsighsighsigh. I still have Paigeypoo :) going to dinner with her phil and dan tognighttt. yummy.
I hope they play good music tonight and not crap ghetto music -_- that really bothers me.


caryatid

Almost

Everything's all coming together now :). My happy isn't back though :/ I blame that on lack of Girl friends...sigh. I'm happy with just Dan and guy friends and all, i just want the whole "christie, paige, brit, and cat" thing back together. We always had a good time together :). IDK what's going on with everyone anymore. I know i should call, but they're all probably busy, and Brit hates being near me now. So i need new girlfriends. Or i need to get out more and find something to do other than homework T_T.
I went to Starbuck's today and got a chai tea latte. They always hit the spot :). It's FREEZing and i need a coat. It took Sammy FOREVER to make the thing though and it wasn't as amazing as i would have liked it to be...but it was still delicious ^___^.
I am going with Amber on a college visit tomorrow to William and Mary. So that should be fun! Maybe we'll walk around Williamsburg and look at all the shops ^___^. I'm almost done my Elks scholarship ^__^ i just need Mrs.Nies to fill out the rest :). I wonder how i did on my SATs :). I hope better than last time :).
I wanna make another ripple effect


caryatid

Scooby Doo

I will never get tired of watching Scooby, Daphne, Freddy, Shaggy, and Velma solve those mysteries! I just found out his real name is Scoobert XD.
Having no school for the rest of the week is relaxing but i have so much schoolwork to do T_T i need to get started on that, and on college applications GODAMNIT. I hope i can get it all done in time :/.
I have an Interview with the Maryland General Assembly for the student page position October 22nd! I'm excited for it, but Andrew and Alex are also going out for it, and Olivia. I think i can beat Olivia because she's not as energetic. And i think i can beat Alex and Andrew because they've never taken AP Govt! so HA. I hope i get the position, it would be AWESOME
I think I've finally decided on a career. I want to be a Judge. Like in a courtroom with the whole gown and everything. I know i don't seem like a person who would do well in that position, but i believe I'd be really good at it :).
My brother didn't go on the bus today, he woke up "late". He didn't wanna take the psats lol. Dan took them though, i hope he does better than me on them. They say that boys do better on the Sats than girls do. But girls do better in college than boys do. So i guess it kinda balances out lol.
I really wanna go to Massachusetts, that's all i can think about lately. I had the most fun there. It's like my kinda environment. Or New Hampshire and Connecticut. I like it there a lot too :)
WTF IS FRUITABLES. A fruit and a vegetable mixed together in a juice box. MMMMM tastyyyy, lol the commercial makes me want them.
Although i wanna be a Judge, I wonder....Who has the right to Judge someone?


caryatid

Stoopid

GEEZUZ don't get all worked up over a picture. Why the hell would you even get worked up about it?! It's a picture, on facebook, that we took together while we were having fun. Why the hell would you get pissed off if i uploaded it?
Maybe it's because we don't hang out anymore and it reminds you of the better times when we were best friends. IDK but it's stupid shit to hear that you get pissed like that.
This is why we don't hang out anymore.
Not because of boyfriend issues(although that did push us away).
This is the main problem.
You're fucking mind.


caryafuckingtid

sighs of failure

I can't do it all
I'm fragile
I'm hopeless
I'm not perfect
but i will be free



caryatid

Sailing

Last night was Whiteout! WE WON :D:D:D i was actually into it too, i totally understand football now! IT'S AMAZING ^___^. I was stuck in the parking lot for awhile though because of all the crazy parents and kids who parked in ILLEGAL SPOTS. damn them...Then went to Nic's. Eric was there :D. I saw Molly and Daniel too! And then i picked up my brother with Dan and Eric...i like picking up my brother with them XD. Me and nic rushed to Dairy Queen only to find out that it doesn't close til 10:30 FAIL.
Yesterday before the game i was really stressed though. I had so much stuff to do with projects and scholarships, i don't know if i can do it by myself :/ But I'm trying my best :). I have an agenda for schoolwork, and a notebook for collegework. UGH mom's always telling me what to do with that too! She has no idea though. She didn't go to college. She keeps telling me VIRGINIA SCHOOLS BLAH BLAH NO WHERE ELSE. And I don't even wanna be in Virginia. So now number one choice is Marymount Manhatten. I'm really excited about it too ^___^.
I went to Chesapeake Cats just now and filled out an application form. I want to volunteer with the Cats because i love Cats! I even have a kitty purse XD. I met one cat there today who was named Brandon and he was have Siamese half Himalayan. I WANT HIM SO BAD!!! T_T After a few minutes in the place I started feeling my allergies but i ignored it so it's all good. I hope i can help out with it as much as possible :).
Going to see Zombieland later today, i wonder how that'll go ^__^
I really wanna go sailing :)


caryatid

Empty

That's the way i feel. Time for a run.



caryatid

College Night at KIHS

College Night was surprisingly very beneficial :D. I went with Dan and we all got tons of papers to look at and booklets to read. Then they started doing the speeches with the Guidance Counselors and i realized just how close i am to leaving this place. Maybe not going too far, but starting a new chapter. Alone. Without my family and close friends. Around completely new and different people. It's thrilling and exciting to ponder on. While we were at college night Dan seemed really stressed, but i don't think he hs much to worry about. i went to college night as a junior and barely did anything they gave me. I wish i would have because then this would be easier, but it's still easy enough to handle. ^__^
I'm applying to be a page in the Maryland state legislature in Annapolis for two weeks this school year. Hopefully i get in :). I'm excited to do this because it would look AWESOME on school applications. Hopefully i will get in in enough time for applications :D.
Tomorrow i have to retake my physics test because i FAILED my first one. I have NEVER failed a test before. I cry whenever i think of physics cause McKim doesn't teach me very well T_T. He's a great guy, just not a great teacher :P. Hopefully i do better, I'm gonna read the chapter in the book tonight :). I also have to pick up my new retainer from Dr.Philbins tomorrow because my old one of TWO-THREE years broke lol. Finally i get a new one :D. Then i have college night at Chesapeake college. The schools i wanna look at that will be there are: George Mason, James Madison, High Point, Marymount Manhatten, Towson(just because lol), University of New Haven, Virginia Tech, and Washington College. Maybe something else will interest me there as well :). I'm really liking St. Johns College. In October me and my aunt shannon are taking a trip over to it, and hopefully i'll be able to do an overnighter there to get a good feel for it :D. I think it's my number one so far. I like the curriculum a whole lot, especially since idk what i wanna major in at all lol.
OO and tomorrow's ambers BDAYYYY :D:D:D:D:D should be good ^___^


caryatid

I Can't Wait to be Free

I'm so busy. I have something to do everyday, in fact multiple things to do everyday. It's weird being busy. I used to have my time to reflect but now I have none of that. I kinda want it back, but once I'm not busy I'm just gonna want to be busy again XD. I'm fickle like that lol.
Listening to music is always calming even if its dance music. I think we should be like the Asians and wake up in the morning, go outside, and just start screaming. Good stress reliever. ^___^
Global Studies test tomorrow on Geography, Religion, and the maps. We won the jeopardy today so we get 8 extra points :D Owl City always sounds cute :)
i find left 4 dead a fun game. Even though i suck XD. Eric and Luc are good teachers though. Guild wars is fun. I need to go on more...
I like the book Heart of Darkness, a lot of people don't but I think it's pretty interesting. I can't wait to finish it.
I also can't wait to be free n__n


caryatid

Harvey

So i got into Harvey :D. I was really excited about that and very happy i actually made something. And later that day i found out i got into SGA as well. So i go home, eat cracker barrel, then i go to the meeting. And when i go there i expect to get miss kelley, but NO. I get THE MAID...i have one line, consisting of three words. It sucks, i was thinking of quitting but all my friends are in it and maybe I'll have a sexy outfit :D
So i go to the football game, but no one was there, and it was boring. So i left for Nics, and i talked to mic for awhile. And tomorrow i go to get my haircut with veronica, then i drop her off at work and then a surprise :D. Dan comes home tomorrow. I hope we can talk about the situation because i want to and i think i deserve to know exactly what happened
^___^

caryatid

mundane

stayed home today. have a cold, mic thinks it's swine XD. its not lol. Listening to music. dan's still in disney. I have so much going on now! i looked at my calender and there's something going on everyday this week! lol physics is kinda annoying...:P. Auditions are tomorrow, i think i'm gonna try out. I've never tried out for a play before. hopefully i do well. My brother was mean to Brett Levy today, i'm mad at him. Mom found out about this drinking party he went to XD. Funnyyyy. i had a thin mint blizzard today :D. It was delish
all-in-all: good day :)

caryatid

New VP hollaaaa

Yeaaa! Vice President of photography club :D. This will be awesome because now i can get back into my old hobby :). Today was grrrreat! I went to dinner with Dan, Paige, and Phil and then we made a fire and smores and went swimming in our underwear. Phil's a great speaker, he can get his message across way better than anyone I've ever heard before. I love Phil :). I love Dan a lottttt, but I'm on punishment: NO CHEEK KISSES!!! T_T
how will i live? :( lololol
Great day, hopefully a sign for a great year. I love suddenly realizing that I'm the big kid in the school this year. Definitely looking forward to what senior year has got for me ^___^


caryatid

Get It Together

Focus, Focus, Focus.
Get your work done.
Don't listen to that nag, nag, nag. Fight through it.
Get your way, accept nothing else.
You will have a great year; and she isn't going to ruin it for you.


caryatid

calcutta

I never did or said anything to deserve you to ignore me. Stop acting like you're in middle school and handle this like a mature person. Really I'd love to just yell in your face right now about how stupid you are and how ignoring me is not the way to go about this. If i talk to you about this at all i will make sure i get my point across and you understand that what you're doing is intolerable. I never stopped being your friend. I have other responsibilities and friends. I still hang out, just not as much. You don't live down the street anymore. I don't even know what the problem is cause you didn't even tell me UGH. I'm not responsible for what Dan and Phil say about you. And deleting me off socializing websites won't make things better.
get a clue

caryatid

Waiting

last night was interesting XD. I can't believe Masons parents tolerated that XD, but i love the Leibys so much ^__^. They are so sweet :). I'm loving how Brit doesn't remember anything; makes me giggle.
another party tonight, at Paige's house lol. They're gone but Paige said we could hang out there with her pool and stuff; i think it's the same people from last night coming ^__^. Should be fun.
I need to live :)



caryatid

Pygmalion

"self-destructive
little girl
pick yourself up
don't blame the world
so you screwed up
but it's gonna be ok"


man i love this book/play whatever it is. So funny. I'm listening to making christmas? i've gotta change that XD. I've found some good songs lately :D musics coming back ^__^. Seeing as now i understand songs more i'm starting to actually like and enjoy music.
I can't wait til this week and the next NO DAN!! WOOHOOO lol syke XD. I'll miss him but i'm looking forward to lots of fun ^__^.
If he doesn't care, and she doesn't care, then i don't care. Because i have his love and that's better than what she has n__n.
Molly texted me today about Otakon, i don't know whats going on, but if there's a chance i can go i'll take it ^__^ i enjoyed otakon last year. Minus Cameron of course, ugh. Never bring that kid anywhere with you XD. I'm going to go to the library soon to start my summer projects because i want them done this year XD.

caryatid

Trinkets

i don't feel angry, i should but i don't. I'm worried that i'll randomly get angry in a few weeks...but i'm usually not like that so that shouldn't happen. I don't know what to say to her, what am i suppose to say?
i've gone on hanging out with her not knowing, am i just supposed to pretend the same way? I have no idea what to do, or what i'm doing.
I wish i knew what to say, i just want everything to be good again. sigh

I was watching the secret life today, and i love episode 2! :D. I feel like there's a show on tonight that i'm going to miss :/. And Jons an asshole and i hope i never have to see his creeper face again! He's so mean to my mom. I didn't tell my mom about what happened, she wouldn't like that very much..

I hope everythings honest now :)



caryatid

.

im being taugh a lesson.
why?

Noodles

I think i need to get to that place in my life where there's only one choice and that choice will bring good things. That would be nice; no desicion-making. I'm eating Alfredo noodles, i made some for my brother too. I'm being nice today :]. Burtn my wrist with boiling water AWESOMEEE.
Britt doesn't want to be my friend anymore because i don't hang out with her as much. Paige and Courtney think it's cause she's jealous, but i don't think its that. I think it's just one of those things when she gets so into something that she starts to believe all these things that have really only been going on inside her own head. She's done it before, it most likely can happen again :/.
Bible Study showdown yesterday >.< i don't like fights. I didn't think Cate and Courtney were gonna have a battle over wanting to do something different. Cate shouldn't have overreacted and got mad at how some people were forming a little get-together while she was listening to the speaker. But also Courtney kinda shouldn't have gotten angry at Cate. They should of just did their own thing. But i'm more on Courtney's side in this. :P
Haven't talked to Veronica much at all. Britt's evidently never speaking to me again. So i've been doing my work and thinking of busy things, like where am i gonna live when i grow up. I'm thinking Cape Cod, or somewhere in Connecticut. That would be nice ^__^. Near all the cool places like the beach and new york city. I'm starting to study for sats, yikes T_T. Got new glasses, i like my hair up now.
Most likely quitting CLassic Pizzza soon. They don't give me a schedule, they're mean and blame everything on me. I don't like them :P and they don't have a scheduled payday for me. I might just tell them now that i quit and get a new job later. But i reallly need moneyyyy FORKINASFUHSDALGKNLSDGLSKGNSL -_-. Whatevs. I can always babysit Sailor Ann n__n.
The ants are gone
hallelujah!


caryatid

Iole

Whenever i talk to myself it's always like there's actually someone else i'm talking to. I like that, because that way i can come to myself with my problems instead of telling other people. Even though it's fun to tell others n__n.
I got a cheetah print dress tooodayyyy :D and shorts and a green tshirt ^__^. I can drive across the bridge!! woop woop. even though it's scary with lots of wind! I still have loads of homework to do :P. WEIRD DREAMS about this guy named "Iole"(but i called him "I" in my dream XD) who likes to put knifes in his mouth and bite my arm. It's scary. And his mom doesn't like me XD.
Then in another dream i had like two weeks ago 'I' was in it and he was older but he looked young and he had pointy teeth like knifes (i guess he didn't need the knifes anymore) and he was chasing me (but it was in a guys point of view). We were in a city with lots of streets. HE'S SO WEIRD, i don't think i like 'I' XD.
There's a spider on my cieling...but i can't reach it T_T IT'S HUGE i like cried when i saw it XD.
Mom's working late all week, but i get the car saturday!! :D and sunday woop woop ^___^.

caryatid

Schedules

In Algebra 2 today kovach, britt, and i were the only ones who did there homework last night, so tonight we only had to do like 6 problems while everyone else had to do 15 ^__^. Then during Algebra the guidance called me down and i had to redo my schedule. sighsighsighsigh, i hate how the way my schedule is, i want to change it again, maybe drop some other class...idk, i just feel like my schedule isn't good enough. I feel like i'm not good enough for any school, i don't know what i wanna do, i try to think on it, but nothing comes to mind. I've been reading like crazy, i finished 3 books this past week and it's awesome n_n, i missed reading. My mom flipped today about car insurance but we have it all figured out now ^__^. I'm glad problems are being solved fast lately. I hate things that go unanswered for days, drives me crazy. My mom went to the outlets the other day and Kelly Ramsey was in Tommy Hilfiger and she told my mom i could get a job there. My mom's making me apply, but i guess i'm ok with that, i want another job anyway, food places make me angry.
I need a car for next year, there's no way i'm getting one, but i do want one...it sucks not having one there all the time, sometimes i just want to leave.
I found my glasses! This weekend i'm getting a new pair though. And my mom promised we'd go shopping so i'm getting happy ^__^. I love clothes, it might be unhealthy to love clothes as much as i do. I used to want to design them. I actually still have them somewhere, i'm not gonna lie my designs were awesome! I made this purple dress that was flowy with white flowers everywhere and it was sooooo cute! it never came to life though :P. Maybe someday it will ^__^. I also made this red dress with a big giant bow and it was all tight around certain edges and loose in others, and that also never came to life :P. I did all that between 8th and 9th grade when i realized i had to find a realitic goal. I never found that goal, i hope i do soon though :/. I kinda wish i never stopped my other goal, because i was actually dedicated ad happy trying to reach for it. Maybe i'll start doing that stuff as a hobby and see where it goes from there. That sounds like a good idea n_n.
Sometimes i hate talking about the future, because it's all so uncertain. And we all have these hopes that we want to be true so bad. It sucks when those hopes are failures, makes you not want to hope anymore. sigh -_-

caryatid

Gah

My Mom and I got into a fight last night. It was really really lame. She first came into my room and asked me what i was gonna do this weekend. So i told her that I was going to Molly's party after work on Friday for like an hour and then heading over to brits. But then i said "i just don't have any money to get her a gift, i think i'm gonna use my paycheck to get her something" and she freaked out and started yelling at me about how i need to give her all my money. And how over the summer i'm not allowed to have fun all i can do is work, everyday...So i'm like mom your psycho, and i got upset. I just don't understand why all of a sudden she needs all my money, when we were fine before...nothings changed, we haven't bought anything new that we need to pay for. Unless she did without telling us. Most likely -_-, all i know is that i'm keeping half my paycheck every time i get it. She can just deal with it like she always has. I'm being mean T_T, but she was being mean too. SO :P. sighsighsighsighsigh. I hate moneyyyyyy. She even took alll my bday money, and all my savings...so i really have nothing T_T. Lol i was telling Dan that yesterday, in the car, and i ran over a curb for the second time this week! T_T_T_T_T_T
I was realllllly embarrassed >.<. sighsighsighsighsigh
AP final today!!! WoOOOOOOOooOooOO, i haven't studied yet :P. I'll do that on the bus or something. DAMMIT i need to do my survey too T_T_T_T_T. FML
Whatever, i'll live and get it all done.

On the plus side i'm drinking hot chocolate right now ^__^. I look pretty cute :D. I got to hang out with dan like everday this week n_n. I have good grades :). I'm back into reading! And i get paid today :D
lol there's a sunny side to every situation XD


caryatid

Gloomy

It's kind of gloomy outside right now :\. This weekend was fun! I got two of the things on my list done! :D. Friday i went bowling with lots of people, and then yesterday i went kayaking/jetskiing and it was so much fun ^__^, lots of fun for the weekend. Today paige, phil, dan and i were supposed to hang out. But phil has to help his grandparents move in to their house, so paige said monday we could ^__^. AHHHH AP TEST TOMORROW O.o. I studied a little bit XD. I need to read more on the bureaucracy T_T.
My mom's at jons so i can't go anywhere :P. I really need to start investing my money into a car :/. sighsighsigh. I'm gonna try to work at the marina.
I want to hang out with Amber and Veronica soon :] I miss em. And brittany i haven't hung out with her in a while. Well we hung out yesterday but that was with lots of people. we need our own sleepover lol.
I want a giant window wall when i get a house! Like in the picture! lol

caryatid

Funny Face

I want to be carefree n__n
that face seems to fit
caryatid

hmm

So i've come to the learn that since i'm so used to not getting anything i want, i don't want anything at all. And that actually makes sense. ^___^

caryatid

lovesong

Someone told me today that "i could see you being a good mom ^__^". It was so cute! I was very flattered. But i never thought i wanted kids until today XD. Now i want a little boy with curly hair, and i want him to be really shy because that's adorable! :D.
I really hope Manny isn't at work tomorrow T_T, he kinda scares me. Mary told me all these stories about him and i don't want to get into his crowd. I'll be raped fersure. He's always touching me and then running away, it's creepy. He's like 20 something. ugh >.<
School was fun. i love Ian Richards!!! and Ray and Jahmaul XD. And Christian. And all those other boys that bother hailee and i.
Britt updated me on her cold sore through text? XD. She just "thought i should know" weirdo.
I really wanted to wear shorts tomorrow, or a skirt. But it won't be warm out til saturday T_T.
I think i'll wear a dress anyway ^__^.
I saw a baby picture of Dan todayyY!!!!!!!! He's so cute!!!! :D:D:D:D:D hehe ^__^. I was with Sophia all after school XD. She's funny, but never gets tired O.o. So strange.


caryatid