Dazed and Confused

These past few weeks of college have pretty much been exactly what the title of this blog post is: Dazed and Confused. Basically I'm confused on life, relationships, the future, and dazed every weekend. Let me clump these things into categories.

Life: Life has got its ups and downs but recently I've been experiencing a lot of long-term downs and temporary ups. I found out that my mom has cancer. I keep failing my Math exams and I'm really worried I won't get into the major I want. These past few weeks have also been some of the most memorable and amazingly fun weeks of my life. Greekweek, $chlongfest, and relay for life being a few. I'm just keeping my optimistic outlook on life because honestly it's so hard NOT to be positive here at JMU. I love everything about the campus and the people in it! Although coming here I've realized i definitely have an identity crisis I have to figure out while I'm at home. But I'm sure I'll get that all settled by the fall :)

Relationships: I'm not sure if I've talked about this boy in here but we're going to call him by his code name "Carl". OK so Carl and I have been talking for awhile. Ever since like February. But lately he's been really confusing me. Like he invited me to his dorm but I kinda rejected his advances when I got there...making him think I don't like him. So we talked and found out we both like each other...then I left. DIDN'T TALK FOR TWO WEEKS MUTHAFUCKA. Well I was bust and so was he but I initiated a lunch last friday and he kept answering his phone and shit during it and had to leave early. I'm a pretty understanding person but if you were busy you could have canceled or something. Anyway, I let it slide. But then it was my birthday and he SAID NOTHING TO ME! REALLY?! If you like someone you should be like thee first person to say happy birthday to them. UGH! So I give up on initiating the conversation. He can be the one to start something. I'm just gonna Keep Calm and Party on. OH! on a side note Ehall stalker got my number and asked me to formal. I rejected him in a classy way...by using a white lie. oopsies...hahaha

the future: So the end of freshman year is almost here and I'm a little nervous. The minute I'm done with school I have to pack for New Orleans for a service trip. After that I go home to work for the summer which will be so nice and relaxing!! And I go back to school a week early in the fall for FROG TRAINING!!! I DID IT!!! I am a FROG and I couldn't be more excited!! I also switched to a SMAD major with a track in Corporate Communication which I still need to apply for by next spring! It's my dream and I want to make it a reality. :). It's awesome! I have Dreams now! I also hope to study abroad in London as a Junior. Possibly have an awesome spring break trip next year and keep calm and party on!!!

Dazed and Confused: Honestly, I party every weekend and I think it's starting to get to me. Don't get me wrong I love it and have a blast but sometimes I just want to chill out do some homework and have a fun sober time hahaha.

Those are my updates! Goodnight!

caryatid

Keep your feet on the ground and your head in the clouds

Right now I’m having this inward struggle with myself. I think it’s with my identity. Who do I want to portray myself as? This sorority girl who’s clean cut? Or the total bad-ass I love to be? I’m stuck between the two. I thought I would be able to balance it out, but it’s starting to be a struggle. Whenever I’m around my sisters I have this feeling that I’m being watched, that I have to act a certain proper way…It’s not that I don’t like the feeling, it’s nice to have some rules in a place where I’m not obligated to have any. But, I really want to get totally totally fucked sometimes. I wanna wear a shit ton of eyeliner and glitter, a baggy see-through shirt, and some galaxy leggings. I want to rage. I want to dance like no one is watching and not remember a thing. I don’t think that’s all too healthy, but I need to legit FSU.

I actually think I’ll be able to balance the two. I’m thinking during the day I can be the sorority girl…and by night I’ll be the raver. Bahahha

Christie by day, Christiana by night.

Lmfao.

caryatid

It's been so long...

Sorry blogger, I have neglected you. Socializing consumes most of my time now. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing yet but I like it all just the same. Well I finished my first semester of freshmen year and now I'm on my first college spring break! Of course, I'm not doing anything cool for it haha. I'm just sitting at home all week catching up on homework I really should of done and sleep I really should of got. I really don't know where to begin with this blog post but I think one thing I need to clear up is Dan.

I can't remember the last time I posted on here, but I just want to write it down. Dan and I are no longer together as of this past November. I needed to do it. Ever since I did that...it was just like a breath of fresh air. I know that sounds selfish, but sometimes you've gotta do things for yourself. And believe me, I'm the happiest I've been in a very long time :). It was a good thing. I'm gonna save all the drama for myself, my blog doesn't need to know it :).

Now onto the present. Academics = So My first semester was FANTASTIC! I got two A's and two B's...but unfortunately I received my first big fat D. I freaked out. I have never gotten below a B in my life. But, I have gotten over it, and now I know that it wasn't just me. It was most of my class...so, I blame the professor.

Social life = I literally never have a moment alone. I'm always meeting someone or doing something with someone else. It's not that I'm obligated to do things all the time, it's just that I always have something to do, so I take the opportunity to do it! This is mostly because of Theta and i am not complaining! I love everything about Theta! I'm so happy that I decided to join even though Dan told me not to. I just want everyone out there who actually reads this thing to know this : Don't EVER let somebody take something away from you that you want. If they say you can't have it...well fuck them! if they say you can't do something, do it anyway. I'm all for being a rebel lately, and I love that about myself :). I'm finally getting back to the old me that everyone loved two years ago and it feels great! College really has showed me what I want out of life and no one is going to get in the way of me getting that! Not even boyfriends.

speaking of boyfriends. Love life = well...let's just say I never thought I would attract this many people in my life. AND IT IS AWESOME! Dan always told me that no other boy would ever like me because of my "shyness" (which I've found out is non-existent...swear to god he brainwashed me). WELL It's not true. I've had the time of my life just playing the field and now I think I might actually like someone :). He's really nice and charismatic and funny and cute...I could go on. But, I'm not so sure he feels the same. Well, I mean he did tell me that he liked me and thought I was cute and so on...but then he just confused me and I don't know if he was just saying that because we may or may not have been drunk...hahaha, but we'll see. I'm pretty confident now that I won't end up miserable and alone bahaha.

I'm going to leave this blog post on one final note to self:

Christie,
Don't ever let anyone come between you and your dreams.
Love, your conscious

caryatid