Feeling Trapped

Today I received another acceptance letter, from George Mason University, I was happy...my mother was ecstatic. This is THEE SCHOOL she wants me to go to. I honestly don't really like the school that much. It's supposed to be a good school...but it's in the area where I grew up, I don't wanna go back there, and there's a large student body there, I want to go to a small school like...o idk Marymount Manhatten: One of the schools my family pretty much forbids me from going to -_-. Although I got in with a scholarship, unlike with George Mason.
I overheard my Mom telling my Grandma today that I got into George Mason but that I don't wanna go there. My Grandmother pretty much told my Mom that I had to go there, and that there was no other option. It's close to them, so they can keep an eye on me. I wanted to SCREAM. I HATE THAT EVERYTHING GETS DECIDED FOR ME. This will not be their decision, IT IS MINE. Although they're family and helping me out with this...I will leave them if I have to. I want to be able to do what I want, and George Mason doesn't offer me that. George Mason keeps me trapped.
I feel like a prisoner to my family. I have to do everything within their qualifications. I can't even wear the shoes I want without them criticizing me or yelling at me to go wear something else! I may be sounding a bit ridiculous, but that's what they're doing to me. It really hurts my feelings, I used to have a certain style that I loved dressing up to, but now I'm just a normal girl, there's almost nothing left of me that's unique. Maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic, I'm sure there's some uniqueness left but I'm not feeling it right now.
I want to be the old Christie again, I want to have fun, I want to be bold.

Caryatid

J'ai une Idea

As I was reading my AP Lang textbook today it pointed something out about Journaling. It said that Journaling should not just be about what happens throughout your day, it should have a point, or idea about a certain message you want your audience to know. I consider this blog to be like a Journal for me, so reading that made me realize that I've been going about this all wrong.
I need IDEAS for what to write about! My everyday situations must get boring! SHEESH why did I not realize this?? I am not a pleasant writer to read, but I hope to be able to at least keep people interested! I feel as if I lost that ability...Anyway, my idea for today's blog is: Things you say you're going to do, but never actually end up accomplishing them. Like New Year's Resolutions.
Every year I attempt to fulfill a NYR, but it usually never gets done. This year my top two are to start dressing nice again(even in the cold!) and to tone up. SO FAR the two resolutions are unsuccessful. I have the clothes to be pretty again, but I'm just so goddamn lazy..O! Lazy in french = paresseux :P. And I also have the ability to tone up...I'm just still so PARESSUEX!!! How do I overcome this laziness?! And how do I become motivated. I NEED ANSWERS!!!
On the Brightside, the weather's finally warming up...WAIT off topic...DAMN this is difficult. LAZINESS SHOULD NOT CONTROL OUR LIVES. but it still manages to come back to me after that really productive day yesterday T_T.
I'm leaving now :P

Caryatid

Philly

OK, So yesterday I was supposed to go midnight bowling with everyone...but that was canceled due to my Mother because we were to go to Philly today. We did do the 2 hour drive to Philadelphia for Tony Luke's. They do have really good food. But we were there for about 30 minutes...then left XD. We just got back. And I think it was worth it. I like cities for some reason. Mike said that our next trip is going to be to NYC for pizza XD. I really hope we do that! Because while we're up there I wanna visit MMC...and all the shopping <3.
I still need to do my AP Lang assignment. But I cannot bring myself to start working on it! All I've been wanting to do lately is DANCE. There's this party girl in me that really really really wants to come out. I feel really slutty when I say that but it's the truth! >.<
I was talking about Senior week today with my family and it's so exciting! The last time I was on my own in OC was last spring break. And we may be doing that again. Which would be fun! But last spring it was really chilly and rainy and not all that great :P. Hopefully this summer will be better! Beach EVERYDAY :D. WOOP WOOP!
Well I think that's all for now, I wanna start putting other things in my blogger though. Not just what I do during the day...hmmm. Maybe I should be all "Buddha says" again XD. Those were fun times. I used to be all philosophical XD. It was grrrrrrEAT. TATA FOR NOW. Hopefully I can go to England this summer :D That would be really exciting!

Caryatid

The Lovely Bones

Last night Dan and I went to see The Lovely Bones.It was an amazing movie and had me crying most of the time. Crying movies = good movies(because they can get a reaction outta you). It is my new favourite movie ^_^. We went to the Harbor Center to see it because it wasn't playing at Annapolis Mall. So now I know my way around Annapolis a little better! So that's good :).
When I got back to the island we went to Taco Bell, and we waited outside for like 15 minutes because I couldn't decided what I wanted XD. So Dan got angry and made me choose and go through the drive-thru :P. I had this 5 layer burrito thing...it was pretty good. I was kinda disappointed though because my Mom makes this thing that we call "Chicken-in-a-Bag" (that sounds so redneck XD). IT'S SO GOOD. And she said that she was going to make that for Dinner...but she didn't T_T So I had TB.
We went to the Bayside Clubhouse and got the movie Halloween 2. We didn't watch it though XD Because I was scared. So instead we watched All in the Family. i left at like 1:30 am -_- I used to be able to do that...now it's really hard to leave that late, because I feel like I'm going to fall asleep at the wheel :P. It could just be because school is in session and I'm using all my brain-power XD. NEXT SEMESTER COMING UP woop woop!
My classes are: French V, Trig, AP Lit, and AP Lang. Two classes with the Wolff again XD. I need to do that "summer assignment" for the class still -_- I'll try to start it today..but VAMPIRE DIARIES COMES ON TONIGHT!! It's really weird for me to like tv shows this much, but I follow Glee, Gossip Girl, and Vampire Diaries like it depends on my life . I think that's unhealthy.

caryatid

The Weekend

OK we'll start off with Friday: SO in AP Lit we took part of our final exam. I miscalculated the time and did not finish my essay. I was very upset about this because I have never not finished a timed essay! It was horrible :(, but then I came home later that day and found out I was accepted into another college, one i really wanted to go to :) Marymount Manhatten! :D. It's really nice knowing that I have a place to go now, a lot of my stress is gone :). Also Lately I've been feeling like I've gained a lot of chubby :(. it makes me upset, so I'm gonna do something about it. WELL ANYWAY in physics on friday I took another part of my exam, and it was easier than I thought :D. After school I went with Dan to his Dad's in NJ. His family is really nice, so I had a good time :). While we were there we watched Taken and Jennifer's Body. They were rally good movies! I was surprised that I like Jennifer's Body so much.
I can't wait to see Lovely Bones! It came out this weekend so hopefully I can catch it before it leaves!!!! :D schools tomorrow and I need to memorize the rest of my speech and read some more for AP Lit :P. Not too excited for school tomorrow -_-.


caryatid

Accepted

Well today I received my first acceptance letter! It was from Drexel, I also received the Dean's Scholarship so that's awesome! I'm super-excited about everything because it's the first one! And even though there's a slim chance of my going to Drexel, I'm glad I got in :).
Tomorrow are my finals and I'm heading to Dans Dad's with him for the weekend :). I'm nervous about the finals but happy to see Dans family :D. I have half of a physics final and half of an AP Lit final T_T. I need to study but i have yet to do so :P. I'm baking pizza right now though and doing the laundry :P. I'm being productive! Just not in a scholarly way XD. I'm a bit sad that this semesters over because i really liked Speech class with Derrick and Caitlin and everyone else. Also I'm gonna miss Physics a bit. I really like Mr.Mckim he's a sweetheart! Also I don't think I have any classes with Derrick next semester :P SO this STINKS T_T_T_T. But hopefully we have lunch together and see more of each other because of the musical :).
Lately I've been really self-conscious about myself. I feel like i need to start watching what I eat and working out again. Which I do need to do seeing as i don't get much walking time since this winters been so damn cold. I wish i had the clubhouse key so i could go to the clubhouse and run on the treadmill and do the bike thing!! :D haha i'm gonna ask mike for the key :). I also wanna do yoga with Nic soon. I promised him! ^__^
Hopefully I do well on my finals tomorrow, and hopefully Dan's toes get better, and hopefully I get fit and healthy again, and hopefully i get accepted to the rest of the colleges I applied to! ^__^

caryatid

An Empty Shell

Maybe one day I'll write a tidbit about my middle school life. Just to get it out there. I haven't thought about it in a long time, but recently it's starting to come back to me. I don't like the way I was back then, I'm too embarrassed to think or talk about it. SO maybe I'll write it...maybe. I was very stupid back then though. I was stupid, but i had reasons to be. I had no one. I was a complete insecure loser who thought too highly of herself. I know that doesn't make sense put together. But that was exactly who I was.
I don't feel like talking about it today.

caryatid

Remembering Sunday

I'm sitting here, procrastinating :). I don't know why I smile when I say that word...but i do XD. WELL yesterday Derrick and I went to the mall! I went for shoes, Derrick for pants. WELLL haha, I found 3 shirts and 2 skirts XD, and Derrick found a shirt. SO WE FAILED T_T. I did find a good pair of shoes, but they didn't have any left at Sear's. So maybe I can hassle my Mom into getting me a new pair online ( they are much needed, believe me! My other boots have holes in them XD).
Today at school I received my Senior Paper grade. I got an A- on it. I think that's a good grade and all, it's just when Dr.Woolf gave it to me she said, "I felt ambivalent about your paper, Christie." I always feel like Dr.Woolf is holding me up to this higher expectation than everyone else. I think it may be just me, but I think she really does! Maybe it's just the fact I have 3 classes with her and we're BFFS XD jkjk. WHAT DOES AMBIVALENT MEAN?!?!?! T_T_T_T_T. Well I should be getting my final say from Drexel within the week, that's exciting. But I don't think I really want to go to school there. I just applied cause there was no application fee :). I really hope to get into all the other schools I applied to though. I still may apply to two more, I'm thinking about York college and St.John's a lot lately. Maybe I will apply to them ^__^, depends how I'm feeling after finals XD.
Today this boy names Alexsander Landolfi stuck his head in my face, it was really awkward and I looked away, but he was literally like a centimeter away from my face XD. It was so weird! Anyway, practice was horrible! Everyone sounds sad and it's supposed to be a happy song XD. Also the leads aren't that great, they're boring! :P I wish he would just choose different people. That's what he needs to do if he wants this show to be any good :P
Lovely Bones comes out this weekend! But I may be going to Dan's Dad's house this weekend. I love Dan's Dad's family, they're so nice and his little brothers and sister are so cute!!! I can't get over how cute Jackson is, I love him. SORRY DAN YOU HAVE COMPETITION ;D

caryatid

Wake Up in the Morning

I'm feeling like P.DIDDY. Just kidding. I'm actually on weheartit.com and looking up french pictures because I'm feeling a little French today :). I miss my camera. I would really love to put on a pretty outfit and take pictures in the snow today. But, I cannot. Because I did not receive a camera for Christmas and it's been about 2 years since I've had one -_-. I miss doing the little photo-shoots :P.
Well today I will be going over to Helena's to have a girls night! I'm really excited for this because I haven't had a girls night in...about 6 months. So this is much needed :).
O I FORGOT TO SAY! Today is a Snow Day! WOOHOO. Gonna watch Gossip Girl today :D. I'm addicted, yes.
Seeing as it's only the morning I do not have much to say, maybe later in the day I will :P.
O! Last night I was trying to figure out how to change my background to a picture. I just don't know how :P. If anyone knows. Help me?

Caryatid

Chipped Nails

My problem today: chipped nails. All day they kept chipping! All I want is some nice nailpolish that don't chip, and i would love nice nails that don't indent, and i would also love nice soft hands. But we don't get everything we want do we?
Songs stuck in my head today: WE AT DA HOTEL, MOTEL, HOLIDAY INN!!! haha and ONLY THE GOOOOOOOD DIEEEEE YOUNGGGG. It got really bad during physics. All i could say XD
Today I wore this shirt I bought at Second Hand Rose yesterday. It's a boys shirt i think...it fits like a boys. But I put a waist cincher on it to make it more form fitting, and now iz girly! :D
Hopefully we have a snow day tomorrow, or some kind of a delay :P I would really enjoy that extra rest. ALSO I WOULD LOVE IT IF THE WEATHER WAS WARMER. I bought some cute dresses that I can't wear in this godforsaken cold -_-.
Unlike last January and February when I was sad. This January and February actually seems to be looking like it's gonna be fun :D. I'm totally excited for what my future holds! :)

caryatid

Second Hand Rose

Today started out pretty nice. I even had Alexis mention, "You're looking cheerful today!" She's adorable! The fact is I was feeling pretty good. I also still felt awesome when i went shopping with my mother (which is shocking btw). We went to Second Hand Rose, I bought a few shirts and a little surprise for Dan :). We also went to Safeway; as usually the first thing I do when I go there is Starbucks. I ordered a Chai Tea Latte, but they gave me some sort of coffee at first? And I was like WOAH, nu uh I need my chai. So they fixed it and it was yummy, just a tad too milky :P. STILL GOOD. Then I get home and I ask Dan if Sydney has texted him back yet. And he said that she had texted him back but said "Hey"... I was like WTF?! After he sends her a novel she just replies days later with a "Hey". Is she mentally challenged? Really? If she doesn't reply to Dan I will talk to her. Hell I'll probably still talk to her about this even if she does reply to Dan's message. People really piss me off -_-.
OVERALL: still in good mood :). I'm going to take a nice shower to relieve my anger XD.

P.S. THOSE PEARS ARE SO COOL
caryatid

Steamed Dumplings

I have adopted a new love for Chinese food. Having not grown up with the delicious taste as a child it was a sudden PANG when I ate some the other night with Molly and Nic. I realized I LOVE CHINESE FOOD! It's amazing! I cannot believe my Mom has been keeping me from this because of a food poisoning accident :P. But she's always been a worry-wort like that. You learn to live with it.
I've decided that I will write how I actually feel in these blogs, because usually I keep it friendly here incase someone I know sees it...but I'm positive none of my friends even use this anymore XD so WOOHOO free thoughts coming out XD.
Well today I wrote a note to Dan in speech, ranting about how i feel and how things will play out if anything else happens. I think I'm getting my point across this time...
Physics was moderately simple and understandable today...surprisingly, we're learning about magnets. And we're building a motor right now. It's kinda fun. Michelle and I's wooden block broke the first time though XD We learned our lesson. Wrapping the damn wire about the nail took FOREVERRR. lol
Listening to Lady GaGa's new album. I like it. It's different. She has a good voice. And even though she's weird, i love her.
I was reading Just Listen and the main character Annabel reminds me of myself a bit... here's something she said:

a message sank into me: that being nice is the ideal, the one place where people didn't get loud or so quiet they could scare you. If you could just be nice, then you wouldn't have to worry about arguments at all. But being nice wasn't as easy as it seemed, especially when the rest of the world could be so mean.

Nic called me today, I think Bonnie was in the background XD I heard someone else's voice. But they were making plans for Otakon. I'm really excited about this year! I think this one will be the best yet! :D They told me I should go as Vanille from FFXIII but i've only played a few FF games and haven't played the XIII one XD. I still really like her outfit. But I also like Bayonetta's outfit a lot too! Also Dan said I should be the Wendy's girl...I don't know which one is best XD.

caryatid

Hello 2010

I think I've been using this thing for almost a year. That's surprising, i usually don't stick with things that long. Well WOOHOO Graduation year is here! And i've applied to 5 schools thus far :). It feels good, not gonna lie. I think I'll be ready for this. SO far lots of good things have happened in 2010!
My Mom's getting married to Mike on Oct 2nd :D and I might be getting a little green car from my Dad! Which then will allow me to get a job and I'll be having $$$$ :D I was so happy on New Year's at Casey's with everyone. It's nice having a big fun new years with all your friends and you can actually remember it XD. I love Casey's mom, Miss Patty. She is a sweetheart.
But there has been a minor bump in the road although it's only January 3rd -_-. Dan is a major poop head. He's so stupid and idc if he's reading this cause he needs to hear it. He needs to get his act together. He's getting harder to trust...I hate that I feel like I'm not good enough. If this doesn't change, I'm going to change it for us :P I love him so much, and I really hope he keeps his promises. I don't ever wanna feel the same way i felt when he broke up with me last March. And I NEVER EVER wanna feel the way i felt last June. Although it came close the other night -_-. I didn't get as mad as I wanted too. I just want him to know that he has a good thing going for him being with me :/ and that hurting my feelings won't keep me here. I'm sure he knows that though, he just can't keep his penis at bay. I hope someone puts it on a stove XD
Men. are. stupid.
Well, school starts tomorrow and I finished the Joy Luck Club, it was an alright book...not a favourite though :P. I'm gald I read it :)
My New Year's Resolutions: Get a job, Wear pretty clothes again, start working out cause i'm getting lazy :P, learn to cook well :), have a kickass time at Otakon, stop caring about what others think of me, and not getting embarrassed.
OO! I forgot to say that we're going to be moving into a bigger house soon :D I'm excited!

caryatid