rootbeer

I used to post a blog a day, just talking about what happened. But ever since Dan got sick i have nothing to talk about XD. Well today i talked with Erin for a long time, just about anything. I never thought i would be able to get close to her, but now i think it would be fun if i did. She's funny XD. This past week i've been throwing my clothes everywhere around my room, so im cleaning it now. ^__^. Tomorrow i'm heading to Virginia after school to go to jmu. My parents want me to go to a school in Virginia since i can get it cheaper there, idk. I really really really don't know what i wanna do >.<. Makes me all upset, cause everyday it changes. lol. Yesterday i wanted to be a lighting director XD. Today i want to be a college teacher. Tomorrow i'll probably want to be a medical forensic scientist thingy. hehe. Or a spy. Or the president. XD. syke. I'm eating a hotpocket. I really want some rootbeer. imma go get some. hmmm...i miss dannnn, there's no point in being at school if he isn't thereeeeeee XD. so bored, my life is boring, -_-.

caryatid

lonely

I feel lonely. I've always liked to be alone, but i've never really felt sick of being alone, because that's what lonely is...i think. But at the same time i feel like i have lots of friends. It's funny how people can make you feel so welcome and then later you realize, "wow i know nothing about them."

So i have this theory that the higher the cielings, the better people can think. I saw it one day during a test i was taking for piano. I was looking at Veronica and then i saw like a thought bubble come out of the top of her head, and in the little room it wasn't big enough to think clearly, but then in the auditorium it was so big that the thoughts got lost in all the space.
That probably makes no sense to the people reading this
but it makes perfect sense to me ^___^


caryatid

tiscold

It might snow yayyyy. Sigh...i feel sick, thanks Dan XD. So tired, but i need to go to school. I have a zit, T_T. I wrote a note to Dan today, but he wasn't at school so i couldn't give it to him. I feel like all my blogs have something to do with him XD. It's a bit funny. I love facbook, im getting better at tetris, i'll never beat Britt or Eric though T_T. I wish i had a talent, it's sad that i really don't have one. I can't take a picture anymore, well i can take a picture i just look strange in na picture, at least i think i look strange. LOL my camera is still broken sighsighsigh. Maybe i can fix it. idk. I wanna go picture crazy again, that was fun. I want money too, need to be more motivated to find a job. February 28th going to JMU fun fun fun. It's in the mountains so im guessing it's going to be cold. I need to go look up British Lingo.

Caryatid

fail

LAWLZ. Okay so Vero and Emo are back together now XD. I'm not believeing anyone when they say "for good" anymore XD. Never happens. Anyway, i just ate all my chocolate ^___^ yummy. Might watch Mary Poppins later! :D i've got all the songs stuck in my headdd. Lawl it's four and my Dad isn't here yet, usual, he's late to everything XD. That's what i like about him though, he doesn't care, and takes his time...my mom, on the other hand, freaks and rushes everything. It will be nice to just chill with my Dad and Cary. DAN GOT A FACEBOOK YAAAAAAYzzz. My Grandad keeps texting me and uses his british lingo so i don't know what he's saying >.<. fail XD. And todays just been really chill. ^___^

caryatid

Valentines Day

VDAY WOOooOooOoOoooO. Lawl, yesterday was friday the thirteenth and i think that it was really funny since it's a day before vday and Vero and Emo broke up for good XD. She's happy :D, well sorta :P. Britt got ditched by catherine, a thousand year ago the first crusade started killing the knights templar...yaknowww XD. LAWL, so my gift ideas all failed T_T, Dan beat me to one of them, and my mom took all my money...sooooo i've gotta be crafty ^___^. I need a sharpieeee. POOP, I went to practice an hour late today, i'm kind of glad though, because they didn't really learn anything XD. Today should be pretty fun, i get to see Daddy tomorrow!!! :D:D:D:D. I might wear my red dress today...maybe, or something red. When i look at red a feel better XD. I has no makeup, imma go get some. Emo keeps texting me asking where i went? whatevsss. I LOVES EVERYONEEE

Caryatid

the notebook

I wish i could be so happy that it fell off of me and onto other people. If that makes sense? LAWL. I love talking on the phone to Dan ^___^. I told him the whole story of The Notebook XD...idk if he was listening, but he said he was :D. I really love that book :]. I wanna read 90 minutes in heaven...its about this guy who died and went to heaven for ninty minutes then came back to life, and his best friend was praying for him thee entire time. It seems like a really good book Ü. I've also gotta read The Host, lawl...i got it for christmas and haven't read it yet. I also haven't read the books Veronica gave me. Fail. Lol i haven't finished the book Britt gave me either. FAILCAKES XD. I blacked out today, it was a bad one. I was just in line to hand my test in to Mr.Pyzik and then it just hit me and i had to sit on the floor for a minute. Kind of embarrassing, and when i got up to give him my test and go back to my seat my heart was beating so loud i could hear it and feel it everywhere on me. I have an irregular heartbeat, i thought it was going to stop...But then i calmed myself down...WHAT THE FUCK MY DOOR JUST OPENED ALL BY ITSELF T_T_T_T_T it always does that, but its freaking me out right now.
My Daddy called today! and he said that he's taking me out to dinner Sunday :D, i haven't seen him since Christmas and i thought i wouldn't see him till March, so i'm happy :D.I love my Daddy, even though he hasn't made the best choices he's still a good person and Dad. I miss him. I know there's this theory that if a girl doesn't have a father figure in her life then she constantly needs attention from boys. I think Veronica and Catherine might be under that category of girls because...they really do always need a boy in their life. Not that that's a bad thing, it's just sad T_T. I'm glad my Dad didn't just leave and never talk to me again and change his phone number and address T_T. Forking Dave is popping up EVERYWHERE NOW, my mom saw him again today on the bridge in traffic. sigh. it was so lame hearing about it, because i know they still love each other, he's just stubborn and fickle >.<. Or maybe they don't and i'm just trying to convince myself he's still coming back. Whatever. I know it's not a big deal that my stepdad left. But it's serisouly affected me for some reason. I was so clse to him, he could also be considered my best friend, and i have problems knowing my best friend doesn't want to talk to me anymore, seeing as he was my best friend for nine feggin years. I used to think i loved him more than my Dad, since when he came along i was always mad at my Dad since he would take me every other weekend. Now i don't have a Stepdad and my Dad doesn't come over every other weekend, so i guess that theory is right, because i do feel like i need to see Dan all the time XD.

Caryatid

hershberger wedding dress

Lol so many compliments XD, i like my hair straight...but i love it curly ^___^. It's going back to curly tomorrow. And the next day, and the next...etc XD. SoooOOoOooOO my mom's being a poophead right now. Complaining about everything and then not doing anything...:P. I'm not sure what classes to take, well i have an idea but there's a few questions i've gotta ask the guidance counseler. Today was nice, nothing bad happened, i got a super long note from Dan, i like super long notes ^___^. And we had to sing, which didn't take long. LOL the costumes are so funny, poor Casey XD. I need to do my laundry :P. Boring, regular day :]

Caryatid

crazyquilt

Veronica and I are getting close again ^___^. I love that. I missed her. God, her life is so dramatic, i'm gonna help her. Sigh. What really made me kind of disapointed today was two things. Veronica might move to the Keys...in Florida T_T this summer. And Britt is moving to Pasadena in November, she she's still gonna go to this school. sighsighsighsighsigh. Britt i'm not too worried about because i know we can never not be close XD. I just wish she could be closer to me, i'll be able to drive soon so thats another plus. I love how everyone i get close to moves really far away from me T_T. Like Lily, she's in Massachusetts now, i still talk to her and am visiting her again this summer ^___^. But with Veronica sighsighsighsighsigh, it all depends on if her moms boyfriend gets a job here. Because if he doesn't then she's moving to Florida...not cool. Everyone i get close to leaves me T_T. At least Dan will still be here, hopefully. I will be so sad if Veronica leaves. I'll have to visit her too lol. I like Florida ^__^

caryatid

ilovecolouredpencils

My weekend was interesting. Went to Jordan's party, ate sooooo many pretzels T_T. Then went to Bonnie's. Then the next day i went to dan's, and my mom didn't pick my up til 12:30 cause she was out XD. During the day she called me, laughed really loud and then hung up the phone XD. So i asked her if she was drunk, she wasn't lol. She's just crazy. IT'S SO NICE OUTSIDEEEEEE ^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^. I love the weather :D. I'm probably going to take a walk today, and study :P. I should have studied yesterday...but i didn't...fail :P. My granparents are coming over today XD. They are always coming over lol. I love them though so it's ok. Cyndl texted me yesterday saying to text Veronica because she's upset. So i did. And Vero basically told me why her life sucks so much right now. SIGHSIGHSIGHSIGH. I told her to find a new boy altogether, but she has to find that out for herself ^___^. Hopefully Britt and Mason worked everything out on Saturday. So yesterday night(or morning actually) my mom and i were driving back from Dan's and we went to taco bell. So we get all of our stuff from taco bell and we see someone getting pulled over on the side of the road. It was Dave, my mom freaked out called all her friends and made it a big deal when it wasn't. TUrns out Dave has a girlfriend now, figured he would. It just makes me sad/dissapointed to know that he's moved on in some way. I need to do my work.

Caryatid

sequinsfunfunfun

Today started off AWESOME! First period, i owned in math ^___^. Second period i owned in ap government :D:D:D:D. And third period i failed but it was funny so it's ok XD. Then fourth period came which is such a slacker class O M G. But i got kind of...pissed off i guess. I don't know. I was talking to Hailey about really cool things (like Africa XD), then she told me that her and Amber put me on this list that this gay guy at lunch was getting names for? I'm not sure why it pissed me off, but it did. Probably because i don't know what the list is for and i'm not a huge fan of surprises. It's no big deal though XD. Now that i think about, me getting a bit angry was so dumb. They were only doing it for fun ^___^. And LOLOLOLOLOL BONNIE XDXDXDXD i kind of snuck up on her in the hallway and she said my name in theee funniest voice EVER XD "hey CAAAAARISSSSS teee" XDXDXD. That made my day lol. So i go to practice. Which basically means i go to the auditorium and sit for an hour doing nothing and failing at the "warm-up" dance we NEED to know XD. But Dan was there so it's ok!!! ^___^. I wanted to explain to him in a nice way why people don't listen to other people's advice. But it came out so mean!!! >.< i was embarrassed that i sounded that mean. What i was trying to say to him was that it's just how people are. If someone came up to me and told me how to fix MY situation and go about MY life, i wouldn't do what they said. I would do what i wanted and learn from my own mistakes. It's like that for every person. We're not going to listen to others who have experienced something when we haven't.
I wish i would've said that nice to him T_T. But i was just angry with the way they taught the dance. SO RETARDED, they do it twice and expect us to memorize it. NOT GONNA HAPPEN, at least not for me lol.
Reading what i wrote about the advice thing made me realize that i still can't express myself fully, there's so much more i wanna say about that to persuade, but i can't show anyone whats in my head >.<
And every time i put a picture up on here, it reflects on how i felt that whole day, jtlyk ^__^.

caryatid

foundations

Yay! Another day off from school XD. I woke up at 12:30 and Brit, Cat, and Paige just showed up and took me away lol. It was fun ^__^. We went to McDonalds and Paige was chasing after the car because we were running from her XD. Then we went to Paige's, played dress up XD, and watched The Notebook. SUCH A GOOD MOVIE T_T_T_T. Geezuz i love it ^__^. Then i went to Brits, we had a nice talk ^__^, my mom came at 5:30 lol and i went home. I've just been reading The Notebook and cleaning ever since lol. Texted Veronica and that was nice, she was being honest with me ^___^. And then i told Dan this thing that happened to me a while ago, it's so silly XD but so weirdly true...I really wish i could have seen him today, but i didn't :P. sighsighsighsigh. I'm trying to put that wall down that i have up between me and him. It's so hard though >.< I want him to know everything about me...but there's something in my brain that isn't letting me figure out how to T_T. I want to feel, and i can't explain why i can't. I'm not sure how to make myself feel... I don't think you are supposed to make yourself feel. That's why i have to wait for myself, i know i'll feel eventually, even if he doesn't ^__^

caryatid

another night

So the day started off kinda strange...again :P. My mom keeps telling me i look sick. I didn't feel sick until today. I woke up completely drained, like i almost didn't make it to school. As the day went on i felt a bit better, and it was nice. Went to dans, that was fun. Came home and realized i have lots of work...and i smell like lola XD. Fail. So now i'm blogging instead because im just too tired to focus on work. I post the dumbest blogs ever :P they're not interesting T_T i want them to be though.

caryatid

strangedays

So last night i was acting...paranoid, i guess. And i was texting Dan, which led to me telling him what i was paranoid about, which then led to me hurting his feelings. sigh. I was pretty sad. That wasn't my intention. Just saying what my brain thought. So this morning i thought that he wasn't gonna talk to me, so i wasn't really looking forward to the day. But then he texted me something nice, so i was then again happy! :D
But as i was riding the bus i realized i didn't read 12 pages from ap government work LOL. Good thing i have a long bus ride XD. Finished that, felt all accomplished, came to schoo,l everything was great. Ap government comes, and im ready for the quiz. LOLOLOL NO QUIZ SURPRISE! ... -_-. So i rushed myself for nothing :P. But at least its done ha.
Well i got through the day without anyone making fun of me! YAYZ. I felt happier then i've been in a while. But i think i offended Dan. sighsighsighsigh. Again not my intention. I fail. I screw everything up. sighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsigh.
But a really cool thing that i heard about today was that there was this psychic lady subbing for Veronicas english class. LOL Veronica's gonna be a hairdresser and move to california. Thats pretty cool.
Well now i feel really really odd. Not happy, Not sad, Not content, Not mad. I don't think im feeling anything.
i miss dannnnnnnnnnnnn
XD

caryatid

japanese elephants

Haha. I'm looking at this little toy paige got me last year from when she went to Japan. Its so cute, it's this little elephant. I love it ^___^. Looking at it makes me happy. So today i have done absolutely nothing. I left brits at 10:30 and then came home to an empty house. Mom was online for four hours -_- she's obsessed with facebook now. sigh. And then my grandparents came and brought this dresser that my papa made for Cary. They just left. I love them so much, they make me happy. My mom doesn't make me happy, ever. I was thinking today about the last time my mom made me happy, and i couldn't think of a time when she did! i know there has to be a moment i had with her that was happy. But honestly, she's the one making me so unhappy, yet i still love her :P. I feel obligated to love her though. I think if i just met her randomly i wouldn't like her. sighsighsighsighsigh that is a horrible thing to say about a mom. She's a good mom, i guess i'll give her that. But she doesn't know how to be my friend. I want a mom who i can be best friends with, im never gonna get that though.

I don't want people thinking im naive. I may portray that i am a naive person, but i know everything going on around me. I just choose to ignore it. Thats probably why i have those dreams. It makes me happy, so i will continue doing what makes me happy.

I also don't want people to think i'm a complex person, because i'm not. I'm so simple it's complex i guess.

caryatid