bittersweet day

I passed my driving test ^___^
I've decided i'm going to try at being a delegate for SGA...since NHS hates me...
I drove around all by myself today, and with Brittany once, it was awesome.
I felt so grown up
sigh
It really hasn't set in yet...i hope it doesn't at school :/

Today at Bible Study we were talking about prayer, and we each have a prayer buddy...mine was Brittany! XD
So we prayed about everything that we felt, it was awesome.
Some of us cried
i held it in! :D
i've already cried once at bible study...and that was the first night i was there XD

Reading the Bible makes me happy
i finished all of John
My favorite chapter is Ecclesiastes
lol something like that XD
i pronounce em all wrong XD

I love my friends so much
i don't feel lonely when they're around :]
there's a plan for me
:]


caryatid

tree spirits

there's a plan for me
i just have no control over that plan at this moment -_-
something good will happen
hopefully :/

anticipation

Took pictures with Taylor and Veronica today
They turned out nice
Anticipating Monday's outcome
:/
Good thing im a patient person
Test tomorrow
most likely i'll fail
too much on my mind
I've found that counting is a good way to forget everything
when you count, you can only think of the next number coming...
so i've been counting a lot today
math homework was easy
All my midterms are Tuesday
and my drivers retake test :/
i practiced parallel parking today
i did well, i just can't get nervous anymore

caryatid

yodel

I feel lonely:/. So i failed the driving test T_T. I was so upset and i cried...lame. But then my Dad called me and convinced me to not let it bring my day down. And then i realized that i get to retake it XD and fix the mistakes i made today. I don't have to be as nervous next time now because i know what to expect ^___^. And watching Heidi Klum yodel was hilarious XD. So that brightened my day haha. I need to start working on my midterm packet :/. Retaking the driving test Tuesday! woooo XD. I'm watching antm now XD they put snakes on them and they're freaking out XD. Today's going to be a boring day...John's coming today...so i get kicked out of my room again COOOL. -_-. I wanted to see Dan today but he's sick :/. I have a little something for him and a note from Thursday. lame. My back hurts T_T_T_T sooooooo much goddammit.
I need a hobby. I can't drawwww, not musicalll, fail everything...I NEED SOMETHING IM GOOD AT T_T. I'm so tired of failing everything, i want something i can be proud of :/.
I absolutely love Paige Hill :D I'm fersure going back to how i used to be. I felt more confident that way ^__^


Caryatid

Sping is here

I'm slowly taking off all the worry that i've had over the past few months and it feels great :D. Spring is here, and even though it doesn't look too much like Spring outside i'm still feeling it XD. Driving test on Saturday! I'm a bit nervous, i hope i pass ^___^. It would be nice to drive wherever before 12am XD.
I love seeing the trees coming out with all their pretty flowers. Especially the pink ones! Makes me smile ^___^. Once it stops raining i want to go on a walk. Or a bike ride! :D.
Still looking for a job, kinda found one...but i don't wanna work there XD. Buttload of homework lately, midterms next week, fun fun fun. I only have two though ^___^ mythology and math lol, should be easy :D.
I feel really bad about embarrassing Chris in Mythology today. Paige walked by and he stared her down as she walked by...and everyone knows he likes her...even Paige knows XD. So i said "OooOOoOO Chris stop staring down Paige!" jokingly
and he was like "WHAT no no no i wasn't!"
and then Hailee had to make fun of him thee entire time T_T which i didn't plan on...so i'm pretty sure he was ticked at me for saying that...but i asked him for forgivenes and he said he forgave me...but i don't think he's telling the truth...i'll have to find a way to make it up to him :/.
I wish Hailee would stop talking for a little XD. Or maybe i should just watch what i say more :/
Most likely the second one XD

caryatid

selfish

This weekend was GREAT ^__^...not ok, but great. haha. I got to spend it all with Dan and that was nice. But at the Cast Party i got sad. I had no reason to be sad there, but i was sad. Also I got sad today...that ones caused by my mom mostly, but i shouldn't feel like that, that's selfish :P. I just feel like shit, even though i had a good weekend.
I'll write more on thee other blog if you wanna see it
I'm not even gonna put in a picture with this, there's no picture with how i feel today. :/

caryatid

forgiveness

I went to a Bible Study tonight that Erics sister, Cate, leads. It was awesome. The topic was Forgiveness, and we got to talk about how we forgive people, who we've forgiven, and who we need to forgive. There was seven of us there and we all got to answer these three questions and i deffinately learned tonight to never judge a book by its cover. One of the girls there was this girl at our school that isn't really one that i thought i would ever be friends with. She's very obnoxiuos and loud...but as we all went around and talked i felt that i could actually end up becoming this girls friend. I love that feeling, of realization :D. Cate is such a great person to look up to too. I feel like i could talk to her about anything and i've only met her about 3 times XD its really surprising for me to feel that way because i have some hard times letting go of my feelings.
Well once the question of who i need to forgive came to me, it took me a while to think about it. And i realized that even though i want to forgive Dave, i will never be able to unless he confronts me. And i basically told the story of Dave and why i needed to forgive him for everything he's done and i ended up crying. I couldn't stop. This caused everyone else to cry and i felt bad, and we all started laughing. It was great XD. But i'm really glad i got that out. Britt told me she was glad too :].
Then we started talking about Princess weekend and i wish i could go! But i'm going on a College visit that day. The College visit should be fun. Dan is coming with me :D I'm excited :D, i hope it's nice out this weekend :D.
I feel so happy and inspired and i feel like by talking to Cate more i will be able to get that wall down that i put up against myself. And maybe i'll be able to express myself again :]
i hope

caryatid

random

I found my dime with a hole in it XD, the chain is broken though, so i've gotta make a new one :P. I also found both the headbands i lost and my old flats that i love :D so there is some good that comes out of cleaning the closet XD. Today was the Bureaucracy test and even though i missed ap governemnt yesterday, i actually think i at least got a B on that test :D. There is some good that can come of studying XD. I'm going to study from now on ^___^. I got Perfect Attendance and Honor Roll...again! yayzzz XD. I feel like a dork. All i talk about is school in here, but that seriously is my life until summer XD. I miss my cousins Katie and Corrie. I get to see them in July! :D. It's also going to be nice to see Hayley, lol the lst picture i saw of her she looked like a little punk XD. Really thick eyeliner, long black hair, jeans and a t-shirt. The usual XD. I remember when she was a bookworm like me, i bet she still is ^___^. Also Jd can friggin climb trees, he's so weird XD but i love him <3 :D. And little Richard is going to be a soccer star i swear XD. Nicole will probably still be camera shy and look up to Katie and Corrie lolz. I'm just kinda like the cousin who doesn't belong, Only redhead in family FTW! XD. We learned about Christopher Columbus today in World History. I know all the stories say he discovered the America's first, but i don't believe it! there had to of been someone else because how else would people be there?!?!?! XD

caryatid

divorce

So my mom's divorce was today. She's happy and relieved. I almost forgot about it today during school cause we had to perform for the 8th graders, that was funnnn. lolz. Photo Club was interesting too, sammy made a poster with pictures she's taken and they were really cool :]. Also Mr. Holland had this really old camera, it was cute lol. I am sad that my camera is still broken T_T, maybe i can get it fixed soon, or just buy one on my birthday :D. I turned in the money for the AP test today, fucking 86 dollars i better get back! >.<. And i turned in the NHS stuff today too. I feel like all this stress is just gone now XD. I hope i get in, i didn't last year T_T. I tend to fail a lot. sigh. I wanna try tennis, my brother's doing it, apparently he's not good, but he says he is, maybe i'll ask him to teach me ^__^. He gave me a hug thee other day when i walked into his French class XD, it was weird cause he always says he doesn't like me. He's a poophead. I drew a cloud on Dan's hand today, then he drew a face on mine, and i made the face eat the cloud. It was fun ^___^. I was happpier today then i tought i would be. I wore a cute outfit :D. I think I'm gonna wear another cute outfit tomorrow too! :D I never realized how much i love heels. I think from now on i'm just buying heels or colourful flats. I don't want sneakers XD. Mr. Sof and Mrs. Dennis wouldn't sign for my Nhs stuff, so i put their names on there anyway ^___^ they apparently don't remember me...cooooool. fucking assholes :P. I was talking to Casey today and her eyes were like neon green! it was so cool :D

caryatid

Hugh Heclo

"Ignorance may not be bliss, but it can be security"
:]

caryatid

normalboringme

The musical's almost over, i'm happier, things are getting better and more embarrassing everyday lol. I've been such a clutz lately. The only thing i really have to work on now is my grade in governement, just because i want an A and the nhs signatures XD. sighsighsighsighsigh. I've still got that lonely feeling. It needs to leave. Also working on getting my license, which i should of got a long time ago :P. Upon getting my license i need to get a job, too bad no one on this island wants to hire anyone T_T. I never write my true feelings in here, It makes me upset that i don't think i can write or express my true feelings. Well some of them i can, but most of them i just keep hidden. That's gotta stop. It hurts my tummy when i keep stuff in T_T. Really really weird dreams lately, i gots no idea what they mean O.o. Dan just told me that if i died that would be a good thing...love himmmm XD. My music is boring me, i hear it all the time its all the same, i need new stuff. Someone give me a good band pleaseee.

caryatid

yaynosleep

I love natalia vodianova, she's so pretty :D
Vero told me about her weekend today, i seriously cannot believe that was real. It was one of those things that you thought could only happen in movies, ugh if i was in her position i would just cry for days. She's such a strong person. I don't know how she can put up with those boys.
We didn't have to go to our 1st 2nd and 4th period classes today, i was upset i missed AP government, but hurlock gave me the stuff i need so i should do ok i guess T_T. The girls dressing room smells really bad, i hate it. I'm gonna be up all night, funnnn. :P
I need a job after the musical XD, lol i say that all the time but this one is ferreal ferreal :/.
I wore this comfy hoodie today, i love it.

caryatid

nouveauphotos

:D i took a bunch of new photos today with Britt ^___^. That was lots of fun, my shoes are soaked though, i think they're dry now :D. My mom left to spend the night at Johns. So i'm just here with my brother, doing the laundry, finishing up some homework, yaknowww. lol ap government is going to be stressful once we get back >.< sinced we missed so many days. nhs invited me again -_- i bet i won't get in again because i'm not good enough T_T. Whateva, sighsighsigh. So I drew a picture for dan, i thought it was cool, but its not T_T. BUT I TOOK PRETTY CUTE PICTURES TODAY, so it's ok ^___^. I need to do some quick community service XD. I'm listening to Bella's Lullaby, i'm gonna finish up The Host soon. I really have nothing to talk about.

caryatid

marshmellowfluff

I finished two books i've been meaning to read ^__^. I haven't left the house since the snows been so bad. sigh. I feel really really lonely. I'm not a fan of that feeling. I want to leave the house. Do something exciting. I need to go back to the way i used to be. it was a lot easier. I remember. I don't want to be worried all the time. I feel ugly now because of all the stuff i've been worrying about.
James Madison was a pretty school. I really liked it, but i don't like the being in the middle of the mountains part XD. You're pretty much two hours away from Dc or Richmond. But the people there were so nice and friendly. I'm going to visit George Mason, March 21st. I've been there before but i can hardly remember, even though it was just last year XD.
"It's really sad when you think something actually looks cute on you, then somebody makes a comment about how ugly you look in it, then you realize you're the only one who was ever stupid enough to actually think you looked good for once." I remember i used to feel like that all the time, so i would play it safe and wear normal clothes. Now i just don't care ^___^
I need new music
i want to be creative again, i feel like i've lost it. I'm gonna draw ^__^

caryatid

jkjhdfahjadfgn

i feel like shit. I've figured out all the information i needed to know. And i kind of wish i never figured it out. Wait, no i'm glad i figured it out. I think i have foresight. It seriously gets it right everytime.
I need to talk to some people. I need this to be fixed.