Waiting

last night was interesting XD. I can't believe Masons parents tolerated that XD, but i love the Leibys so much ^__^. They are so sweet :). I'm loving how Brit doesn't remember anything; makes me giggle.
another party tonight, at Paige's house lol. They're gone but Paige said we could hang out there with her pool and stuff; i think it's the same people from last night coming ^__^. Should be fun.
I need to live :)



caryatid

Pygmalion

"self-destructive
little girl
pick yourself up
don't blame the world
so you screwed up
but it's gonna be ok"


man i love this book/play whatever it is. So funny. I'm listening to making christmas? i've gotta change that XD. I've found some good songs lately :D musics coming back ^__^. Seeing as now i understand songs more i'm starting to actually like and enjoy music.
I can't wait til this week and the next NO DAN!! WOOHOOO lol syke XD. I'll miss him but i'm looking forward to lots of fun ^__^.
If he doesn't care, and she doesn't care, then i don't care. Because i have his love and that's better than what she has n__n.
Molly texted me today about Otakon, i don't know whats going on, but if there's a chance i can go i'll take it ^__^ i enjoyed otakon last year. Minus Cameron of course, ugh. Never bring that kid anywhere with you XD. I'm going to go to the library soon to start my summer projects because i want them done this year XD.

caryatid

Trinkets

i don't feel angry, i should but i don't. I'm worried that i'll randomly get angry in a few weeks...but i'm usually not like that so that shouldn't happen. I don't know what to say to her, what am i suppose to say?
i've gone on hanging out with her not knowing, am i just supposed to pretend the same way? I have no idea what to do, or what i'm doing.
I wish i knew what to say, i just want everything to be good again. sigh

I was watching the secret life today, and i love episode 2! :D. I feel like there's a show on tonight that i'm going to miss :/. And Jons an asshole and i hope i never have to see his creeper face again! He's so mean to my mom. I didn't tell my mom about what happened, she wouldn't like that very much..

I hope everythings honest now :)



caryatid

.

im being taugh a lesson.
why?

Noodles

I think i need to get to that place in my life where there's only one choice and that choice will bring good things. That would be nice; no desicion-making. I'm eating Alfredo noodles, i made some for my brother too. I'm being nice today :]. Burtn my wrist with boiling water AWESOMEEE.
Britt doesn't want to be my friend anymore because i don't hang out with her as much. Paige and Courtney think it's cause she's jealous, but i don't think its that. I think it's just one of those things when she gets so into something that she starts to believe all these things that have really only been going on inside her own head. She's done it before, it most likely can happen again :/.
Bible Study showdown yesterday >.< i don't like fights. I didn't think Cate and Courtney were gonna have a battle over wanting to do something different. Cate shouldn't have overreacted and got mad at how some people were forming a little get-together while she was listening to the speaker. But also Courtney kinda shouldn't have gotten angry at Cate. They should of just did their own thing. But i'm more on Courtney's side in this. :P
Haven't talked to Veronica much at all. Britt's evidently never speaking to me again. So i've been doing my work and thinking of busy things, like where am i gonna live when i grow up. I'm thinking Cape Cod, or somewhere in Connecticut. That would be nice ^__^. Near all the cool places like the beach and new york city. I'm starting to study for sats, yikes T_T. Got new glasses, i like my hair up now.
Most likely quitting CLassic Pizzza soon. They don't give me a schedule, they're mean and blame everything on me. I don't like them :P and they don't have a scheduled payday for me. I might just tell them now that i quit and get a new job later. But i reallly need moneyyyy FORKINASFUHSDALGKNLSDGLSKGNSL -_-. Whatevs. I can always babysit Sailor Ann n__n.
The ants are gone
hallelujah!


caryatid

Iole

Whenever i talk to myself it's always like there's actually someone else i'm talking to. I like that, because that way i can come to myself with my problems instead of telling other people. Even though it's fun to tell others n__n.
I got a cheetah print dress tooodayyyy :D and shorts and a green tshirt ^__^. I can drive across the bridge!! woop woop. even though it's scary with lots of wind! I still have loads of homework to do :P. WEIRD DREAMS about this guy named "Iole"(but i called him "I" in my dream XD) who likes to put knifes in his mouth and bite my arm. It's scary. And his mom doesn't like me XD.
Then in another dream i had like two weeks ago 'I' was in it and he was older but he looked young and he had pointy teeth like knifes (i guess he didn't need the knifes anymore) and he was chasing me (but it was in a guys point of view). We were in a city with lots of streets. HE'S SO WEIRD, i don't think i like 'I' XD.
There's a spider on my cieling...but i can't reach it T_T IT'S HUGE i like cried when i saw it XD.
Mom's working late all week, but i get the car saturday!! :D and sunday woop woop ^___^.

caryatid

Schedules

In Algebra 2 today kovach, britt, and i were the only ones who did there homework last night, so tonight we only had to do like 6 problems while everyone else had to do 15 ^__^. Then during Algebra the guidance called me down and i had to redo my schedule. sighsighsighsigh, i hate how the way my schedule is, i want to change it again, maybe drop some other class...idk, i just feel like my schedule isn't good enough. I feel like i'm not good enough for any school, i don't know what i wanna do, i try to think on it, but nothing comes to mind. I've been reading like crazy, i finished 3 books this past week and it's awesome n_n, i missed reading. My mom flipped today about car insurance but we have it all figured out now ^__^. I'm glad problems are being solved fast lately. I hate things that go unanswered for days, drives me crazy. My mom went to the outlets the other day and Kelly Ramsey was in Tommy Hilfiger and she told my mom i could get a job there. My mom's making me apply, but i guess i'm ok with that, i want another job anyway, food places make me angry.
I need a car for next year, there's no way i'm getting one, but i do want one...it sucks not having one there all the time, sometimes i just want to leave.
I found my glasses! This weekend i'm getting a new pair though. And my mom promised we'd go shopping so i'm getting happy ^__^. I love clothes, it might be unhealthy to love clothes as much as i do. I used to want to design them. I actually still have them somewhere, i'm not gonna lie my designs were awesome! I made this purple dress that was flowy with white flowers everywhere and it was sooooo cute! it never came to life though :P. Maybe someday it will ^__^. I also made this red dress with a big giant bow and it was all tight around certain edges and loose in others, and that also never came to life :P. I did all that between 8th and 9th grade when i realized i had to find a realitic goal. I never found that goal, i hope i do soon though :/. I kinda wish i never stopped my other goal, because i was actually dedicated ad happy trying to reach for it. Maybe i'll start doing that stuff as a hobby and see where it goes from there. That sounds like a good idea n_n.
Sometimes i hate talking about the future, because it's all so uncertain. And we all have these hopes that we want to be true so bad. It sucks when those hopes are failures, makes you not want to hope anymore. sigh -_-

caryatid