Not My Cup Of Tea

WOOO!! I got into James Madison University! And after my weekend in New Jersey have found out I also got into Amber's one-act called "Not My Cup Of Tea." It's so funny! My name is Emmie and I'm brainless XD. I LOVE IT. Iris is my sister, Jessica. And Lyndee is my Mama! Dan also got into a one-act as the Chickenman...I can't wait to see that one lol.

Things are looking up! I'm really glad I took a risk and tried out even though I was worried of rejection :P. Because it paid off! Now I'm waiting for William and Mary and they should come in this week, AHHHHHH SO EXCITED FOR THAT TOO. It would be such a blessing to get into that fantastic college :). PRAISE THE LORD I GOT INTO JMU, GMU, MMC, and Drexel! W&M is just my number one. Of course it would come last! lol.

I'm kinda worried about Otakon this year, I don't think I'll be able to go :P. But I'm nott too worried about it. My priorities are One-Acts, Prom, and Sen10r Week right now lol. Dan's Dad invited me to go to North Carolina with them July 4th week. My Mom said I could so that'll be fun! :D

SPRING BREAK STARTS FRIDAY! :D So far I have plans to go to a concert on April 5th to see Florence and the Machine! April 10th for the Cherry Blossom Festival! And April 16th is my BIRTHDAY! the big 18! I wanna have a party for it :D...but I don't know what yet...I've planned the cake I want though! I want a cloud cake! it's going to be so cute! And I'm going out to Dinner that night and YAY SO EXCITING :D.

Today in AP Lang we talked about the film The Graduate. I really liked that movie, and Dr.Wolff asked us about if we think we're "Drifters". I said that even though I have an idea of what I'm doing with my life, and so does my family and friends, that I'm still a drifter because I don't know exactly what will happen to me. And I don't even know what I'll be studying yet in college so YIKES! I need to definitely get on that :P.

Time for scholarships!

caryatid

Sweeter than Heaven, and Hotter than Hell.

Literally all I've been listening to for the past FOUR days has been Florence and the Machine. I. Can't. Stop. Any other bands I listen to now sound like crap compared to Florence and the Machine. They are seriously my all time favourite band.

Well besides that little obsession, the Musical went well. Wasn't as fun as the other ones, but still special since it was the first time we sold out since Joseph. And It's my last high school musical :). I didn't cry at the Cast party (which wasn't as fun as i thought it'd be :P) One-Acts are coming up and I'm going to audition for them! First time auditioning for something...again! lol, i'm excited. But Senior year hasn't really hit me yet :P. Like I won't be doing this stuff at all next year. I'll have my own life, and I'll be able to do pretty much whatever I want. IT ALL SOUNDS SO FOREIGN.

I'm still prom dress shopping. I have a few dresses I really like online, and they're in my price range so we'll see ^__^. I'm really excited about Prom! I want to look the prettiest! :D

Last Thursday I hung out with Amber and Veronica, we walked down the Jetty and took some cool pictures. We also went to 711...where I was asked to the movies...by someone i don't know. Anyway, after that wwe went to Terrapin Park and met up with Sam, Kyle, Nolan, and Jack. Dylan Luke, and TJ were there too...but we didn't hang out with them. It was fun, and I LOVE THAT VERO AND SAM ARE TOGETHER NOW!!! SO CUTE! :D. Cameron's a shithead...that's all i have to say about him :P. It was my Dad's bday! And Mike's bday! WEIRD.

Friday was the Cast Party...which I've already explained wasn't that great :P. I was insulted by Reed, but he didn't mean to be insulting. He just thought calling me "fieriest crotch" was funny. It's not. Anyway, everyone else was insulted too so it wasn't that big of a D.

Saturday was Molly's photoshoot. I was Little Red Riding Hood. I thought it would be a more formal kind of photoshoot, but it really wasn't. I thought Molly would be more into it and get different angles and poses, but whatevs. It was still a lot of fun hanging out with everyone and FREE FOOD! LOL My Dad came down that day as well. We ate food at Harris'. I ate some shrimp because I was still full from Molly's. That night I went to Downtown Annapolis with Dan and Eric and Ken. It was COLD. I didn't think it would be so I didn't bring a jacket. BAD IDEA :P. Ice Cream was good though :).

Sunday I went to the Mall with Casey and Helena, bought two pairs of much needed shoes and saw Alice in Wonderland. That was a great movie! I was not expecting it to be good but it really was amazing! I loved it! I think it might be a new favourite movie :).

Now were onto today, Monday March 22nd 2010 lol. Today is my Mom's 44th birthday :). Well so far I've applied to the Gap outlet and bought her a shirt. We're planning on eating dinner at Rustico's, and i was going to hang out with Eric but he hasn't texted me so :P. Dan got his phone taken away -_- stupidhead :P.

Still reading A Passage to India. I like it more now. The idea that everyone is involved in a bad situation or a good one intrigues me. So does the different perspectives.

Making a PBIS video for French. Really fun :D

caryatid

CRIKEY

It's been a loooong time mates! Lol channeling my inner Steve Irwin. Anyway, the Musical is coming along...better than I thought, sure some scenes sound awful but at least it looks cool :D. Dan's little sister, Mckenzie, gave me these animal bracelets THEY ARE SO NEAT! And entertaining, I have an Elephant and a Cat!

Well last week took FOREVER to get through :P, and then the weekend flew by so fast, this morning I woke up thinking "Where did it all go?!"

Today was bright and sunny, and made me feel pretty good :D. Also new season of Gossip Girl tonight! And I finished the first season of True Blood, can't wait for season two :).

I don't have much to say today except that I've discovered the theory of existentialism...or is it a philosophy? I'm not sure which but I do like the idea. Dr.Wolff can explain it far better than I ever could. So I won't even try XD. Google it? :)

I feel like many happy days are on their way ^__^

caryatid

Sundays

I love coming to Blogger on Sundays because of Post Secret. Even though I don't have many secrets, I still like reading the other peoples. I'm not sure why though. I guess I like the artsy postcards, sometimes the secrets really shock me and make me feel a lot better about myself :/ that's kinda sad to think I guess.

Well yesterday was an all day Q2Q. But apprently we got done early? SCORE, I still stayed til almost 5 because Dan was chit chatting with people. But that's ok, I enjoyed it. And When I got home I ran! I almost ran the entire trail! It's my goal to run it all the way. But It felt good and I'll start running more on nice days ^__^. Then I watched the beginning of 500 Days of Summer, but I wasn't able to finish it because Becky called me and asked if I wanted to come over and pick out our outfits for Hooverville! I was excited :). It was fun, we stopped by Mrs. Darlene's house and Mrs. Zimmerman's and they said we looked better than the actual Hooverville people XD. I can't wait to be in the background. It's gonna be hilarious XD. Then Veronica came over Becky's after work and I saw that she was talking to Dan. I like that Dan likes to help people. sigh, I just can't trust him as much as I thought I could. I'm sorry Dan I really want to, but I still have that "worried" feeling. I don't know how I can get rid of it.

I still wish I could talk about everything and yell at him about how I feel. I don't think I ever told him that. I still want to talk about it, but I think we waited too long. I don't think I'd have anything to say, I'd really have to think about it now since I've kinda tried to put it in the "forget about this" zone. It doesn't stay there though. I'm glad it doesn't. I want to remember.

Today's been a really pensive day. This whole week has been. I want a job more than anything right now. I'm gonna apply to Walgreens ^__^. Maybe I'll do well there.

caryatid

It's like trying to pull open a rosebud

Lately, I've been starting to catch up on my reading! After I finished Portrait of a Lady I read Things Held Dear, Downtown Owl, Blood and Chocolate, and now I'm reading The Lightning Thief. It feels good to get all my reading done :).I went to the Library and checked out six books. All about different things. The one I'm most excited to read is Dune. I feel like it's a mix between Star Wars and Lord of the Rings.

ANYWAY, today I woke up at 7:10 am ON A SATURDAY to do the dance for NYC. It's a really cute dance and I'm glad I'm in it, I just wish I were in other things too :P. The musical's coming along nicer than I thought. Although I hate the outfits XD We have to wear the "We're in the Money" outfits they used for 42nd street :P. It's ridiculous XD and we look like elves instead of Rockettes.

This past week has gone by fast. Every day at school we've had a delay, it's nicer that way a mon avis. French class is fun, we're reading Le Petit Prince. I LOVE IT. The drawings are funny XD. Nothing's been on my mind lately, like I can't think very well this week. sighsighsigh. I went to Zumba for the first time on Thursday and it was a blast! I went with Courtney and it's basically jumping around, shaking your butt, and dancing to hip hop music XD. I LOVED IT!

Tonight Veronica and I are having an old-fashioned sleepover ^___^. I haven't had an official sleepover in a while. Last time was with Casey during December? Gosh, I used to have them once a week. It's a little upsetting, but I don't miss it too too much. I just miss the entertainment. I feel like all my life is at the moment is college, schoolwork, hanging out with Dan, and the musical :P.

caryatid

I've got a thousand opinions

Listening to Kate Nash's "Mouthwash". Great song :). Anyway I found some quotes from The Portrait of a Lady that i really liked. I don't think they'd make much sense to someone who hasn't read the book yet, but I'm still putting them up here anyway. Seriously, go listen to Kate Nash's "Mouthwash" ^__^.

"The truth of things, their mutual relations, their meaning, and for the most part their horror, rose before her like an architectural vastness."
- I really like this simile because it's Henry James commenting on the experience of finally knowing the truth of things. We all go on about our lives without knowing the exact truth of everything. We're ignorant and naive. Everyone has a secret, and when you finally learn about that secret, it's like an "architectural vastness". Those two words are exactly how I feel when I learn the truth. THE EXACT WAY. I never had a word for it, but now I do. Thank you Henry James.

"It was a proof of strength--it was a proof that she should someday be happy again. it couldn't be that she was to live only to suffer; she was still young, after all, and a great many things might happen to her yet."
- This relates to the way I think of suffering because when a horrible thing happens, I try to be optimistic and think,"this won't last for long, I'll get over it and move on. I will have an amazing life." But the next quote that comes right after this is like a "BUT"

"Then she wondered if it were so vain and stupid to think well of herself. When had it ever been a guarantee to be valuable? Was not all history full of destruction of precious things?"
- I'm very doubting as well. I just liked how this came right after the quote above.

"Don't question your conscious so much, it will get out of tune like a strummed piano. Keep it for great occasions. Don't try so much to form your character--it's like trying to pull open a rosebud. Live as you like best and your character will form itself."
- Advice from Ralph to Isabel. This quote is like saying, "Don't try to hard" or "Just let the good times roll" or "Just be yourself." I personally like it because it's really great advice! And I liked the simile with the piano and rosebud :).

"Why should I be so afraid of not doing right? As if the it mattered to the world whether I did right or wrong!"
- I can be self-conscious, and sometimes I tell myself this just so I can get through something. I'm just always on edge about what people will think about me. I feel like I can relate to Isabel a lot..

"Jealously is a symptom of happiness"
-I think this to be completely true. At first I did not understand this quote at all. But jealously really is a symptom of happiness. If you're jealous of someone that's hanging around your boyfriend then you must be in love! And if you aren't jealous...then you probably aren't truly in love with them. When I first started dating Dan he would always ask me if I was jealous of anyone and I would always say "nope, I trust you". HA. Anyway, that started to change, and I became jealous of others. And this was around the time I first told him I love him. So I completely believe that jealousy is a symptom of happiness.

Looking at what I wrote and trying to explain why I chose these quote makes me DESPISE the way I write. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. I have these thoughts in my head that completely make sense, and when I try to get it out on paper or talk it out...it just doesn't work or sound the same way. UGH this is a huge problem of mine and it hasn't always been this way. I remember a time when I used to be AWESOME and I could speak beautifully. I have no idea what happened -_- sigh.

I've got nostalgic pavements
I've got familiar faces
I've got mixed up memories
and I've got favourite places

This is my face
I've got a thousand opinions
and not enough time to explain

This is my brain
it's tortuous analytical thoughts
make me go insane

caryatid

Valentine's Day

Last night was Melissa's party! I'm really glad I was able to go to it this year because I had missed her 16th birthday to go to the Hyatt with Paige, Catherine, and Brittany. Wow, it's kinda hard to believe that was all the way back in 2008. Good year. Kinda...The day after i got back from the Hyatt I planned on going skiing with the church. It was a blast! But when I got home...a few hours later Dave and my Mom got into a huge fight. It was screaming/yelling/crying/throwing...just really loud. I had to go to my room and Cary wasn't there. He was at Tyler's or something. But we all went to sleep and the next day I woke up and they were at it again. Then, he left. Packed up all his things, broke their wedding picture, and left. He barely said goodbye to me. I hate him. He broke my heart. And of course my mom's. Ha I had convinced myself it was all my Mom's fault when it happened :P. It wasn't, I just wanted someone to blame. Dave had left us lots of times before, I think the most was 5. But he always came back, the first 5 times I thought he wouldn't ever come back, but he always did. This time I convinced myself that he WOULD come back...I really wish I didn't, because he never did come back. He talked to me the first few months...barely. I guess it just hurt too much and then he stopped. And I haven't heard from him since. I really miss him. I don't know why this all came out on Valentines Day, but this is just what I was thinking of as I went to sleep last night. I think he did this right after Valentines Day. Even though I said I hate him, I really don't, I love him a lot still. And I just hate what he did.

Changing Subject. Well, I made Melissa this really cute card XD and everyone made fun of it...but for fun, like they were laughing with me...I hope. And after most everyone left, itw as just Brittany, Dakota, Amber, Alex, Melissa, Mandi, Jen, and I. We were like an Old Ladies Bookclub XD. It was hilarious!! I don't think we ever stopped laughing! Even throughout the Time Traveler's Wife we laughed XD. It was ridiculous but really really fun. I wish I could have stayed longer, but my mom wanted me home. I hope to hang out with everyone again sometime ^__^.

Well, for Valentines Day today I should be hanging out with Dan sometime...lol. I don't really know when yet. I wanted to this morning, but I was off schedule. I'm really happy I'm still with Dan. I love him so much! And anything he could ever do wouldn't change my mind. ^__^.

caryatid