Dazed and Confused

These past few weeks of college have pretty much been exactly what the title of this blog post is: Dazed and Confused. Basically I'm confused on life, relationships, the future, and dazed every weekend. Let me clump these things into categories.

Life: Life has got its ups and downs but recently I've been experiencing a lot of long-term downs and temporary ups. I found out that my mom has cancer. I keep failing my Math exams and I'm really worried I won't get into the major I want. These past few weeks have also been some of the most memorable and amazingly fun weeks of my life. Greekweek, $chlongfest, and relay for life being a few. I'm just keeping my optimistic outlook on life because honestly it's so hard NOT to be positive here at JMU. I love everything about the campus and the people in it! Although coming here I've realized i definitely have an identity crisis I have to figure out while I'm at home. But I'm sure I'll get that all settled by the fall :)

Relationships: I'm not sure if I've talked about this boy in here but we're going to call him by his code name "Carl". OK so Carl and I have been talking for awhile. Ever since like February. But lately he's been really confusing me. Like he invited me to his dorm but I kinda rejected his advances when I got there...making him think I don't like him. So we talked and found out we both like each other...then I left. DIDN'T TALK FOR TWO WEEKS MUTHAFUCKA. Well I was bust and so was he but I initiated a lunch last friday and he kept answering his phone and shit during it and had to leave early. I'm a pretty understanding person but if you were busy you could have canceled or something. Anyway, I let it slide. But then it was my birthday and he SAID NOTHING TO ME! REALLY?! If you like someone you should be like thee first person to say happy birthday to them. UGH! So I give up on initiating the conversation. He can be the one to start something. I'm just gonna Keep Calm and Party on. OH! on a side note Ehall stalker got my number and asked me to formal. I rejected him in a classy way...by using a white lie. oopsies...hahaha

the future: So the end of freshman year is almost here and I'm a little nervous. The minute I'm done with school I have to pack for New Orleans for a service trip. After that I go home to work for the summer which will be so nice and relaxing!! And I go back to school a week early in the fall for FROG TRAINING!!! I DID IT!!! I am a FROG and I couldn't be more excited!! I also switched to a SMAD major with a track in Corporate Communication which I still need to apply for by next spring! It's my dream and I want to make it a reality. :). It's awesome! I have Dreams now! I also hope to study abroad in London as a Junior. Possibly have an awesome spring break trip next year and keep calm and party on!!!

Dazed and Confused: Honestly, I party every weekend and I think it's starting to get to me. Don't get me wrong I love it and have a blast but sometimes I just want to chill out do some homework and have a fun sober time hahaha.

Those are my updates! Goodnight!

caryatid

Keep your feet on the ground and your head in the clouds

Right now I’m having this inward struggle with myself. I think it’s with my identity. Who do I want to portray myself as? This sorority girl who’s clean cut? Or the total bad-ass I love to be? I’m stuck between the two. I thought I would be able to balance it out, but it’s starting to be a struggle. Whenever I’m around my sisters I have this feeling that I’m being watched, that I have to act a certain proper way…It’s not that I don’t like the feeling, it’s nice to have some rules in a place where I’m not obligated to have any. But, I really want to get totally totally fucked sometimes. I wanna wear a shit ton of eyeliner and glitter, a baggy see-through shirt, and some galaxy leggings. I want to rage. I want to dance like no one is watching and not remember a thing. I don’t think that’s all too healthy, but I need to legit FSU.

I actually think I’ll be able to balance the two. I’m thinking during the day I can be the sorority girl…and by night I’ll be the raver. Bahahha

Christie by day, Christiana by night.

Lmfao.

caryatid

It's been so long...

Sorry blogger, I have neglected you. Socializing consumes most of my time now. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing yet but I like it all just the same. Well I finished my first semester of freshmen year and now I'm on my first college spring break! Of course, I'm not doing anything cool for it haha. I'm just sitting at home all week catching up on homework I really should of done and sleep I really should of got. I really don't know where to begin with this blog post but I think one thing I need to clear up is Dan.

I can't remember the last time I posted on here, but I just want to write it down. Dan and I are no longer together as of this past November. I needed to do it. Ever since I did that...it was just like a breath of fresh air. I know that sounds selfish, but sometimes you've gotta do things for yourself. And believe me, I'm the happiest I've been in a very long time :). It was a good thing. I'm gonna save all the drama for myself, my blog doesn't need to know it :).

Now onto the present. Academics = So My first semester was FANTASTIC! I got two A's and two B's...but unfortunately I received my first big fat D. I freaked out. I have never gotten below a B in my life. But, I have gotten over it, and now I know that it wasn't just me. It was most of my class...so, I blame the professor.

Social life = I literally never have a moment alone. I'm always meeting someone or doing something with someone else. It's not that I'm obligated to do things all the time, it's just that I always have something to do, so I take the opportunity to do it! This is mostly because of Theta and i am not complaining! I love everything about Theta! I'm so happy that I decided to join even though Dan told me not to. I just want everyone out there who actually reads this thing to know this : Don't EVER let somebody take something away from you that you want. If they say you can't have it...well fuck them! if they say you can't do something, do it anyway. I'm all for being a rebel lately, and I love that about myself :). I'm finally getting back to the old me that everyone loved two years ago and it feels great! College really has showed me what I want out of life and no one is going to get in the way of me getting that! Not even boyfriends.

speaking of boyfriends. Love life = well...let's just say I never thought I would attract this many people in my life. AND IT IS AWESOME! Dan always told me that no other boy would ever like me because of my "shyness" (which I've found out is non-existent...swear to god he brainwashed me). WELL It's not true. I've had the time of my life just playing the field and now I think I might actually like someone :). He's really nice and charismatic and funny and cute...I could go on. But, I'm not so sure he feels the same. Well, I mean he did tell me that he liked me and thought I was cute and so on...but then he just confused me and I don't know if he was just saying that because we may or may not have been drunk...hahaha, but we'll see. I'm pretty confident now that I won't end up miserable and alone bahaha.

I'm going to leave this blog post on one final note to self:

Christie,
Don't ever let anyone come between you and your dreams.
Love, your conscious

caryatid

The College Life

Wow...yea I totally slack on this blog thing. Even though I keep saying "I promise I'll keep up with it!" I'm not gonna lie...I probably never will XD.

SO updates! Today is Dan and I's 2 year anniversary! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY. Too bad I'm not there with him :(. I'm trying to make it home for Halloween...but again I'm not gonna lie. I kinda really really want to stay here at JMU for Halloween. There's so many fun things to do I just wanna experience all that my Freshmen year and not have to go home :P. I would love to go home at any other time besides Halloween though :P Technically I don't even have a ride home for Halloween weekend so we'll see what happens.

Also, apparently there's a Bucket list here of the things you have to do at JMU before you graduate and one thing is to find the tunnels! KELLIE AND I ARE DETERMINED TO FIND THESE TUNNELS. O! I don't think I've talked about Kellie in here. Kellie is not my roommate, she's my hallmate (but might as well be my roommate lol) she's my bff here at JMU :). I love her and she's so silly so we can be stupid together XD. It's awesome.

BIG NEWS. I joined a sorority! I'm in Kappa Alpha Theta. Apparently it was the first sorority in the U.S. and it's a lot of fun so far :) I went camping this weekend with them and our counselor was a British guy! AWESOME!! I ate dinner with a theta girl yesterday, and today I'm eating lunch with a theta girl. You never eat alone in a sorority which is nice. I signed up to live in the house next year so hopefully i get it!

There's one thing I didn't like about coming to college. High school in NO WAY prepares you for college tests or life. I got a C on my first french test which I was really upset about. But I changed my study habits and got a high B on my second :). I had a midterm yesterday that went pretty well :) But I have an art history midterm tomorrow that I'm not too excited about :P. Gonna study ALL day for it :P.

Well I'm going to leave my blog on that note and hopefully...maybe...post at least one other time this month XD

caryatid

There's so much more to come!

This summer has still been incredible! Not a day goes by without my doing something! I had one day to myself and I couldn't bare it anymore so I called up someone and made plans XD. I love being alone but now it just get's boring when I'm sitting at home lol.

I have at least 2 days off a week now! They hired a new snowgirl and I'm doing both snow and produce. Delia's offered me a job at their store. I REALLY REALLY wanted to accept it...but I want to stay with Farmer John's for one more summer and then go intern somewhere or do retail work.

College seems to be coming faster than I thought it would. I was trying to make plans with people but turns out I'm literally busy every single day/weekend in august. IT'S HORRIBLE (but fun :) I want to make time to hang out with everyone like Vero, Amber, and Taylor. I VILL TRY!

Veronica's Birthday is tomorrow!!! I feel bad that Cole is leaving her a few days after her birthday...that SUCKS. I was so happy Cole and her got together because they seemed to be a good match ^__^. WELL Britt's been talking to me about breaking up with Mason because he's selfish and drinks and partys everyday. So she did that yesterday XD.She's a funny one. I hope she's happier without him like she thinks she'll be.

For me, Dan and I are doing fine. I'm really proud of him for getting a job! He works at Canine Country Club now with Casey and he takes care of Dogs alllll day XD. PERFECT JOB FOR HIM!

In the weeks ahead I'm looking forward for Otakon 2010!!! I have everything for my Freya outfit! It's amazing and I look awesome! I'm also going to bring a lighter dress to cosplay as Chi. I figure Bonnie would want a day as Freya and a day as Chi so we can switch off XD IT WILL BE FUN!. Nic is Hideki, Molly is Yuzuki, and Mat is Minoru! We have a cute little Chobits group going! YAY! This will most likely be the best con I have been to yet! I WILL BUY A PLUSHIE THIS YEAR!

ALSO I'm looking forward to going to THE JERSEY SHOREEEEEE with Dan XD. I'm so excited to act like a Guidette XD. Dan rolls his eyes at me because he says that OC, NJ is like a family town not a Guido town...O WELL. CHRISIE'S THE NEW SITUATION BIATCHH. ^_^.

I saw Inception last night and it was the best movie I have seen since Moulin Rouge. My eyes were constantly glued to the screen and the ENDING! was FANTASTIC!! I love everything about that movie and the way it was shot was genius! I bet Christopher Nolan took ten years to write that damn thing! The movie made me think of Architecture again. I've been thinking of good careers and Architect was one I wanted to try years ago...nahhh I don't want to be an architect XD. I'LL BE AN ASSASIN! lolzzz

Well Hopefully I'll actually stick with this blog...I'll try!

caryatid

Summer thus far

MY greatest apologies for the...month long wait :/. There just hasn't been any time (nor computer) for me to update this blog. FRST I'll cover Graduation...

Graduation almost turned into a family crisis -_-. My Dad had decided to invite his gf Daniella. I only have 8 tickets, Daniella would've been the ninth person...See where I'm going? Mom and Dad had a huge fight, so i gave up and asked Vero for an extra ticket to make everyone shut the hell up and happy. She agreed, fortunately, and crisis was averted ^_^ Thank You veronica, I owe you BIGTIME! lol.

Next was Sen1or Week! GREAT TIME. Was staying with Mandi, Sophie, and Amber. Hung out with Vero, Will, Taylor, and Cole most of the time down there. I'm really happy about everything that happened at Senior Week :) It was a time for me to get a taste for what life will be like in College...minus the beach lol.

After Sen10r Week were tons of grad parties, work, and teachers befriending me(or accepting my friend requests) on facebook XD. It's funny that Dan, Eric, and I went to the bar CastleBay and met up with Tedford, Greco, and Butler to watch Tedfords fiance perform. It was a great night though ^_^. Even though I don't do much else but work, I'm having a great Summer. I have good hours. I always have money on me. And I'm just having a great time. One time in particular that I'm not too proud of :P is Mandi's grad party :P.

I didn't intend to get smashed at Mandi's Grad party, I only thought I would get a little tipsy like those nights at Sen10r week :P. WELL I was wrong. I decided to drink a bottle of gin...idk why, it was there, I wanted to try it, and it was good lol. I can't really remember that night too well. But I know one thing, Dan told me I kept repeating myself and people thought I was really annoying. I ABSOLUTELY hate it when people think of/or call me annoying. In middle school, that's all everyone thought of me and in Highschool I was trying to change that and I thought I had. I guess not when I'm drunk -_- I was really upset afterwards because I feel like people won't like me if I act annoying at all, like I used to. Idk how to explain it. Just that I get real upset when I'm annoying...that sounds stupid but whatever :P.

Well besides taht the past two night have been fireworks on the bay! We went to the Kent Narrow Firework on Friday, and last night we went to see the Rock Hall fireworks. They were both real nice but I'm most excited about tonight because it's brittany's 4th of July party. I'm going to buy some glow sticks, and partttttyyyy and parttttty and partttty lol. Paige will be there too I'm happy ^_^.

I'll try to update my bloggy more :P. I apologize for neglecting you bloggy.

caryatid

I'm Not Calling You A Liar

Why do people feel the need to lie to me to protect me? Keeping me from the truth isn't going to make things better, I ALWAYS FIND OUT. So why not just be upfront with me? In the words of Flo "I'm not calling you liar, just don't lie to me." I would really appreciate it if I'm given the truth 24/7 because I don't want a false perspective, I want the real deal. I want to know the bad, the good, the heartbreaking, the evil, the love. I want to know it all. I don't need blinders.

Now that that's off my chest I'm here to say I HAVE FIVE HIGH SCHOOL DAYS LEFT! It's crazy to think about (especially since I have a two page paper due...) and Prom is on Saturday, I have a final on Tuesday, Graduation is a week away and then I'm off to SENIOR WEEK. Mandi, Amber, and Sophie are going to be the best people to go with! We will have a blast! I know it ^__^.

Prom Promise was yesterday. I think it went really well and impacted a lot of kids. People said Mr. Kerr's speech was the one that made them tear up. It was really scary being in the car when they had to pull off the roof and bust the windshield. Pretending to be dead is harder than it looks! All the wounds looked real and I walked around school with it on until I had to go to work. Everyone was asking me what I did to myself XD.

I've been working almost every day lately and have had NO time for practicing ITS stuff. I'm in a dance with Wade. The Little Mermaid! :D. And I'm also supposed to be in a skit with Derrick as a homeschooled boy XD. I'm excited for that one even though I haven't memorized it yet...It'll all work out ^__^.

I'll have to start blogging. Once Wednesday comes along I'll start blogging more...or maybe not until after Senior Week...We'll figure it our :)

P.S. flying through the Sookie Stackhouse books! Onto Number 6! :D loving it. Sookie and I must be the same person.
caryatid