We're All Mad In Our Own Way

Dazed and Confused

2011-04-19T01:00:00.002-04:00

These past few weeks of college have pretty much been exactly what the title of this blog post is: Dazed and Confused. Basically I'm confused on life, relationships, the future, and dazed every weekend. Let me clump these things into categories.

Life: Life has got its ups and downs but recently I've been experiencing a lot of long-term downs and temporary ups. I found out that my mom has cancer. I keep failing my Math exams and I'm really worried I won't get into the major I want. These past few weeks have also been some of the most memorable and amazingly fun weeks of my life. Greekweek, $chlongfest, and relay for life being a few. I'm just keeping my optimistic outlook on life because honestly it's so hard NOT to be positive here at JMU. I love everything about the campus and the people in it! Although coming here I've realized i definitely have an identity crisis I have to figure out while I'm at home. But I'm sure I'll get that all settled by the fall :)

Relationships: I'm not sure if I've talked about this boy in here but we're going to call him by his code name "Carl". OK so Carl and I have been talking for awhile. Ever since like February. But lately he's been really confusing me. Like he invited me to his dorm but I kinda rejected his advances when I got there...making him think I don't like him. So we talked and found out we both like each other...then I left. DIDN'T TALK FOR TWO WEEKS MUTHAFUCKA. Well I was bust and so was he but I initiated a lunch last friday and he kept answering his phone and shit during it and had to leave early. I'm a pretty understanding person but if you were busy you could have canceled or something. Anyway, I let it slide. But then it was my birthday and he SAID NOTHING TO ME! REALLY?! If you like someone you should be like thee first person to say happy birthday to them. UGH! So I give up on initiating the conversation. He can be the one to start something. I'm just gonna Keep Calm and Party on. OH! on a side note Ehall stalker got my number and asked me to formal. I rejected him in a classy way...by using a white lie. oopsies...hahaha

the future: So the end of freshman year is almost here and I'm a little nervous. The minute I'm done with school I have to pack for New Orleans for a service trip. After that I go home to work for the summer which will be so nice and relaxing!! And I go back to school a week early in the fall for FROG TRAINING!!! I DID IT!!! I am a FROG and I couldn't be more excited!! I also switched to a SMAD major with a track in Corporate Communication which I still need to apply for by next spring! It's my dream and I want to make it a reality. :). It's awesome! I have Dreams now! I also hope to study abroad in London as a Junior. Possibly have an awesome spring break trip next year and keep calm and party on!!!

Dazed and Confused: Honestly, I party every weekend and I think it's starting to get to me. Don't get me wrong I love it and have a blast but sometimes I just want to chill out do some homework and have a fun sober time hahaha.

Those are my updates! Goodnight!

caryatid

Keep your feet on the ground and your head in the clouds

2011-03-10T23:59:00.002-05:00

Right now I’m having this inward struggle with myself. I think it’s with my identity. Who do I want to portray myself as? This sorority girl who’s clean cut? Or the total bad-ass I love to be? I’m stuck between the two. I thought I would be able to balance it out, but it’s starting to be a struggle. Whenever I’m around my sisters I have this feeling that I’m being watched, that I have to act a certain proper way…It’s not that I don’t like the feeling, it’s nice to have some rules in a place where I’m not obligated to have any. But, I really want to get totally totally fucked sometimes. I wanna wear a shit ton of eyeliner and glitter, a baggy see-through shirt, and some galaxy leggings. I want to rage. I want to dance like no one is watching and not remember a thing. I don’t think that’s all too healthy, but I need to legit FSU.

I actually think I’ll be able to balance the two. I’m thinking during the day I can be the sorority girl…and by night I’ll be the raver. Bahahha

Christie by day, Christiana by night.

Lmfao.

caryatid

It's been so long...

2011-03-06T23:45:00.002-05:00

Sorry blogger, I have neglected you. Socializing consumes most of my time now. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing yet but I like it all just the same. Well I finished my first semester of freshmen year and now I'm on my first college spring break! Of course, I'm not doing anything cool for it haha. I'm just sitting at home all week catching up on homework I really should of done and sleep I really should of got. I really don't know where to begin with this blog post but I think one thing I need to clear up is Dan.

I can't remember the last time I posted on here, but I just want to write it down. Dan and I are no longer together as of this past November. I needed to do it. Ever since I did that...it was just like a breath of fresh air. I know that sounds selfish, but sometimes you've gotta do things for yourself. And believe me, I'm the happiest I've been in a very long time :). It was a good thing. I'm gonna save all the drama for myself, my blog doesn't need to know it :).

Now onto the present. Academics = So My first semester was FANTASTIC! I got two A's and two B's...but unfortunately I received my first big fat D. I freaked out. I have never gotten below a B in my life. But, I have gotten over it, and now I know that it wasn't just me. It was most of my class...so, I blame the professor.

Social life = I literally never have a moment alone. I'm always meeting someone or doing something with someone else. It's not that I'm obligated to do things all the time, it's just that I always have something to do, so I take the opportunity to do it! This is mostly because of Theta and i am not complaining! I love everything about Theta! I'm so happy that I decided to join even though Dan told me not to. I just want everyone out there who actually reads this thing to know this : Don't EVER let somebody take something away from you that you want. If they say you can't have it...well fuck them! if they say you can't do something, do it anyway. I'm all for being a rebel lately, and I love that about myself :). I'm finally getting back to the old me that everyone loved two years ago and it feels great! College really has showed me what I want out of life and no one is going to get in the way of me getting that! Not even boyfriends.

speaking of boyfriends. Love life = well...let's just say I never thought I would attract this many people in my life. AND IT IS AWESOME! Dan always told me that no other boy would ever like me because of my "shyness" (which I've found out is non-existent...swear to god he brainwashed me). WELL It's not true. I've had the time of my life just playing the field and now I think I might actually like someone :). He's really nice and charismatic and funny and cute...I could go on. But, I'm not so sure he feels the same. Well, I mean he did tell me that he liked me and thought I was cute and so on...but then he just confused me and I don't know if he was just saying that because we may or may not have been drunk...hahaha, but we'll see. I'm pretty confident now that I won't end up miserable and alone bahaha.

I'm going to leave this blog post on one final note to self:

Christie,
Don't ever let anyone come between you and your dreams.
Love, your conscious

caryatid

The College Life

2010-10-12T11:28:00.003-04:00

Wow...yea I totally slack on this blog thing. Even though I keep saying "I promise I'll keep up with it!" I'm not gonna lie...I probably never will XD.

SO updates! Today is Dan and I's 2 year anniversary! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY. Too bad I'm not there with him :(. I'm trying to make it home for Halloween...but again I'm not gonna lie. I kinda really really want to stay here at JMU for Halloween. There's so many fun things to do I just wanna experience all that my Freshmen year and not have to go home :P. I would love to go home at any other time besides Halloween though :P Technically I don't even have a ride home for Halloween weekend so we'll see what happens.

Also, apparently there's a Bucket list here of the things you have to do at JMU before you graduate and one thing is to find the tunnels! KELLIE AND I ARE DETERMINED TO FIND THESE TUNNELS. O! I don't think I've talked about Kellie in here. Kellie is not my roommate, she's my hallmate (but might as well be my roommate lol) she's my bff here at JMU :). I love her and she's so silly so we can be stupid together XD. It's awesome.

BIG NEWS. I joined a sorority! I'm in Kappa Alpha Theta. Apparently it was the first sorority in the U.S. and it's a lot of fun so far :) I went camping this weekend with them and our counselor was a British guy! AWESOME!! I ate dinner with a theta girl yesterday, and today I'm eating lunch with a theta girl. You never eat alone in a sorority which is nice. I signed up to live in the house next year so hopefully i get it!

There's one thing I didn't like about coming to college. High school in NO WAY prepares you for college tests or life. I got a C on my first french test which I was really upset about. But I changed my study habits and got a high B on my second :). I had a midterm yesterday that went pretty well :) But I have an art history midterm tomorrow that I'm not too excited about :P. Gonna study ALL day for it :P.

Well I'm going to leave my blog on that note and hopefully...maybe...post at least one other time this month XD

caryatid

There's so much more to come!

2010-07-22T11:21:00.002-04:00

This summer has still been incredible! Not a day goes by without my doing something! I had one day to myself and I couldn't bare it anymore so I called up someone and made plans XD. I love being alone but now it just get's boring when I'm sitting at home lol.

I have at least 2 days off a week now! They hired a new snowgirl and I'm doing both snow and produce. Delia's offered me a job at their store. I REALLY REALLY wanted to accept it...but I want to stay with Farmer John's for one more summer and then go intern somewhere or do retail work.

College seems to be coming faster than I thought it would. I was trying to make plans with people but turns out I'm literally busy every single day/weekend in august. IT'S HORRIBLE (but fun :) I want to make time to hang out with everyone like Vero, Amber, and Taylor. I VILL TRY!

Veronica's Birthday is tomorrow!!! I feel bad that Cole is leaving her a few days after her birthday...that SUCKS. I was so happy Cole and her got together because they seemed to be a good match ^__^. WELL Britt's been talking to me about breaking up with Mason because he's selfish and drinks and partys everyday. So she did that yesterday XD.She's a funny one. I hope she's happier without him like she thinks she'll be.

For me, Dan and I are doing fine. I'm really proud of him for getting a job! He works at Canine Country Club now with Casey and he takes care of Dogs alllll day XD. PERFECT JOB FOR HIM!

In the weeks ahead I'm looking forward for Otakon 2010!!! I have everything for my Freya outfit! It's amazing and I look awesome! I'm also going to bring a lighter dress to cosplay as Chi. I figure Bonnie would want a day as Freya and a day as Chi so we can switch off XD IT WILL BE FUN!. Nic is Hideki, Molly is Yuzuki, and Mat is Minoru! We have a cute little Chobits group going! YAY! This will most likely be the best con I have been to yet! I WILL BUY A PLUSHIE THIS YEAR!

ALSO I'm looking forward to going to THE JERSEY SHOREEEEEE with Dan XD. I'm so excited to act like a Guidette XD. Dan rolls his eyes at me because he says that OC, NJ is like a family town not a Guido town...O WELL. CHRISIE'S THE NEW SITUATION BIATCHH. ^_^.

I saw Inception last night and it was the best movie I have seen since Moulin Rouge. My eyes were constantly glued to the screen and the ENDING! was FANTASTIC!! I love everything about that movie and the way it was shot was genius! I bet Christopher Nolan took ten years to write that damn thing! The movie made me think of Architecture again. I've been thinking of good careers and Architect was one I wanted to try years ago...nahhh I don't want to be an architect XD. I'LL BE AN ASSASIN! lolzzz

Well Hopefully I'll actually stick with this blog...I'll try!

caryatid

Summer thus far

2010-07-04T12:29:00.003-04:00

MY greatest apologies for the...month long wait :/. There just hasn't been any time (nor computer) for me to update this blog. FRST I'll cover Graduation...

Graduation almost turned into a family crisis -_-. My Dad had decided to invite his gf Daniella. I only have 8 tickets, Daniella would've been the ninth person...See where I'm going? Mom and Dad had a huge fight, so i gave up and asked Vero for an extra ticket to make everyone shut the hell up and happy. She agreed, fortunately, and crisis was averted ^_^ Thank You veronica, I owe you BIGTIME! lol.

Next was Sen1or Week! GREAT TIME. Was staying with Mandi, Sophie, and Amber. Hung out with Vero, Will, Taylor, and Cole most of the time down there. I'm really happy about everything that happened at Senior Week :) It was a time for me to get a taste for what life will be like in College...minus the beach lol.

After Sen10r Week were tons of grad parties, work, and teachers befriending me(or accepting my friend requests) on facebook XD. It's funny that Dan, Eric, and I went to the bar CastleBay and met up with Tedford, Greco, and Butler to watch Tedfords fiance perform. It was a great night though ^_^. Even though I don't do much else but work, I'm having a great Summer. I have good hours. I always have money on me. And I'm just having a great time. One time in particular that I'm not too proud of :P is Mandi's grad party :P.

I didn't intend to get smashed at Mandi's Grad party, I only thought I would get a little tipsy like those nights at Sen10r week :P. WELL I was wrong. I decided to drink a bottle of gin...idk why, it was there, I wanted to try it, and it was good lol. I can't really remember that night too well. But I know one thing, Dan told me I kept repeating myself and people thought I was really annoying. I ABSOLUTELY hate it when people think of/or call me annoying. In middle school, that's all everyone thought of me and in Highschool I was trying to change that and I thought I had. I guess not when I'm drunk -_- I was really upset afterwards because I feel like people won't like me if I act annoying at all, like I used to. Idk how to explain it. Just that I get real upset when I'm annoying...that sounds stupid but whatever :P.

Well besides taht the past two night have been fireworks on the bay! We went to the Kent Narrow Firework on Friday, and last night we went to see the Rock Hall fireworks. They were both real nice but I'm most excited about tonight because it's brittany's 4th of July party. I'm going to buy some glow sticks, and partttttyyyy and parttttty and partttty lol. Paige will be there too I'm happy ^_^.

I'll try to update my bloggy more :P. I apologize for neglecting you bloggy.

caryatid

I'm Not Calling You A Liar

2010-05-20T22:53:00.003-04:00

Why do people feel the need to lie to me to protect me? Keeping me from the truth isn't going to make things better, I ALWAYS FIND OUT. So why not just be upfront with me? In the words of Flo "I'm not calling you liar, just don't lie to me." I would really appreciate it if I'm given the truth 24/7 because I don't want a false perspective, I want the real deal. I want to know the bad, the good, the heartbreaking, the evil, the love. I want to know it all. I don't need blinders.

Now that that's off my chest I'm here to say I HAVE FIVE HIGH SCHOOL DAYS LEFT! It's crazy to think about (especially since I have a two page paper due...) and Prom is on Saturday, I have a final on Tuesday, Graduation is a week away and then I'm off to SENIOR WEEK. Mandi, Amber, and Sophie are going to be the best people to go with! We will have a blast! I know it ^__^.

Prom Promise was yesterday. I think it went really well and impacted a lot of kids. People said Mr. Kerr's speech was the one that made them tear up. It was really scary being in the car when they had to pull off the roof and bust the windshield. Pretending to be dead is harder than it looks! All the wounds looked real and I walked around school with it on until I had to go to work. Everyone was asking me what I did to myself XD.

I've been working almost every day lately and have had NO time for practicing ITS stuff. I'm in a dance with Wade. The Little Mermaid! :D. And I'm also supposed to be in a skit with Derrick as a homeschooled boy XD. I'm excited for that one even though I haven't memorized it yet...It'll all work out ^__^.

I'll have to start blogging. Once Wednesday comes along I'll start blogging more...or maybe not until after Senior Week...We'll figure it our :)

P.S. flying through the Sookie Stackhouse books! Onto Number 6! :D loving it. Sookie and I must be the same person.
caryatid

So Unfortunate :(

2010-05-01T10:13:00.002-04:00

I have to work at 12, so I'm just blogging about whats been going on lately. Well first off our One-Act won! :D Which is exciting and I'm very happy about that. We get to go on to QAC one acts :).

Secondly, I just found out the date my Prom dress is being shipped...May 28th. AFTER PROM. I'm trying to see if I can have it come any sooner. But if I can't have it come then I'll have to cancel the order and go dress shopping in Virginia. I'm so upset about this. I calculated the date my dress would come and it should be here before prom. I'm so upset and I just really want to find a way to get THAT dress :(. It's really unfortunate because my family spent so much money on it (money we didn't have) just so i could be happy and look pretty. Now I feel like it's all going to waste. I'm just still so upset and I want to cry. I'm praying that there's a way to get this dress! I feel so selfish for asking to order that dress now. But at the time it felt so good and right to be buying it. sigh, win some you lose some.

Well since I have to work soon I'll have to put my mind on other things. I PRAY IT COMES before prom and fits me perfectly!

AP test next week, wish me luck?

caryatid

My Aching Tentacles

2010-04-21T20:11:00.002-04:00

Feet and back are hurting but i'm still loving my job :). Working at Farmer John's is going to get me so buff! I have a full day Saturday from 8:30am until close! BOY IS THAT LONG, hopefully Dan comes to visit :). Apparently Snow girls get good tips so I'm hoping that's true on Saturday. Today was a crappy tip day :P.

School works been kinda eh. I get it done, just sometimes not on time...especially for Trig. Ap classes I've got it down but Trig is just so bothersome. And pointless for things i need to do in life :P.

Cary's making some pizza, and I just heard the finish thing ring :D YUM.

I SAT IN GUM TODAY. Completely disgusting; Lyndee found it on me XD. We were laughing like hyenas lol. Might have found my outfit for the one-act. It's going well :D. I'm a bit intimated by Iris and Lyndee since they usually get leads, and I've never gotten anything :P. I'm more hoping that I learn from them, and I think I have :D.

PROM TICKETS ARE 75 DOLLARS WTH?! Apparently there's a dinner and then a dance, it starts at 6 and ends at 12...SIX HOURS AT A PROM?! Don't think that's going to happen :P. Well maybe, ya never know. I know before prom I'm going to Paige's with Dan, but after prom I really want to party! I hope someone invites me to one! :D or maybe I'll have one of my own :D. I can't wait for my dress to come in! I wanna try it on right now :)

Today at work, a lady ordering her snowball asked me if I was on ANTM. LOLOLOL She thought I looked just like the red haired girl that just won, I get so flattered when people tell me that! I am blessed, but I had to work hard to look this way :P. I get angry when people think that I'm naturally like this, when really I have to work my butt off! (not so much anymore, but before I did) After you get to your goal weight it's just so much easier to keep it. I lost all the weight almost 4 years ago and I am so glad! :D

Books: finished Living Dead in Dallas, now onto Club Dead.

caryatid

Farmer John's!

2010-04-12T19:11:00.003-04:00

Favourite Florence song of the moment:
There is love in your body but you can't get it out
It gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth
Sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face that
The sweetest of words have the bitterest taste

I'll be working at Farmer John's Produce stand for the Summer! I'm really excited about this because the people there seem really friendly, and although I would like to work in retail I think that this will be better for me. The Gap called me back today about an interview, and I just called them back and declined. I thought that I would want to work at Gap more...but turns out I'm not feeling that way at all! When I went to the Gap the people in there didn't look very happy. At Farmer John's everyone was so nice! and Friendly! And I'll be working with people I know and that go to our school! So I'm feeling a lot better about working at Farmer John's.

I do feel bad though, I have a lot of things going on this Summer that I'll have to tell them about. Like Senior week, Graduation, prom, one-acts, NC with Dan, Otakon, etc. Hopefully that's it...I don't want to not be able to ever work lol! What's going to be on my mind is snowballs and vegetables! YEEEHAW...cowboy?

ANYWAY! Ordering my pretty pink prom Dress this week and super excited! Yes, it's so important the word "Dress" needs to be capitalized. lol.

Someone I've been admiring lately has been Paige. I think she is just such a true kind-hearted person. She is so sweet and today, she gave Dan and I little gifts from the Florida! HOW SWEET?! She's a cutie :) and I do miss hanging out with her. That's why before Prom Dan and I are going to :D.

MY 18TH BDAY PARTY THIS FRIDAY! YAY! I'm pretty dang excited for it! I haven't thrown myself a bday party since middle school! But the past 2 years I've had surprise partys so that's fun too :).

OFFICIALLY DECIDED A COLLEGE! James Madison University will be honored to see my amazing self walk onto their campus to study in the fall! LOL, I am completely totally not into myself that much XD. I'm just so happy that things are looking up when they weren't looking that way last week :P. THANK YOU GOD! PRAISE THE LORD! HALLELUJAH!

scholarships to do, tata for now!

caryatid

Traveling Endlessly

2010-04-05T11:31:00.002-04:00

Yesterday my family came over for Easter. I've always likes Easter just because of the colours and food :). But this year my family was pestering me about college decisions and Prom stuff. And then they were pestering my Mom about a Wedding Dress! Saying things like "You will NOT look good in that one Kim!". I was like "really? You're her mother and you're telling her THAT". They should of said things in a nicer way :(. My Mom already has enough appearance issues, it's awesome that you're adding another one Grandma! :P. sigh. I can't do anything about her mindset though. She acts like I'm the light of the world...which kind of scares me. I mean I like that she doesn't pester me too much, but it's just weird having her be so...nice? to me. Idk what it is, it's like she treats me like God when I don' deserve it. And seeing her treat her daughter like filth makes me feel horrible! I think I'm over-exaggerating this a bit too much, but I don't know any other way to explain how Grandma acts :P. Don't get me wrong she's a sweet lady, it's just when she wants things to go her way...ooooo they better go her way :P.

I'm actually liking the Sun this year :D. I go outside from time to time and just lay down and sunbathe :). It feels really good. I want a little tan for prom, just some colour on me since I picked out my dress! It's a light pink chiffon dress with lace underneath and a slit up the leg, it has cap sleeves going off the shoulders and a little ruffle of flowers on the top. I'M SO EXCITED FOR IT! I have to order it online though :). It's not as expensive as I thought It would be :).

WELL I've found where I'm officially staying for Sen10r week :D. It's with Mandi, Sophie, and Amber :). I need to get that job at The Gap, Walgreens, or Village Bakery so I can pay for everything I wanna do this summer :P. Like Otakon, Sen10r Week, NC with Dan, possibly visit Lily in Cape Cod, and Disney World with Dad. I am going to be so busy this summer I don't know if I can keep a job :( I hope I will be able to though :P.

COLLEGE DECISIONS AHHHH, that is what my mind has been worrying about for awhile. Now that I know all the schools I've gotten into I'm narrowing them down. My top two are JMU and MMC. I think I wrote that in the last blog. O, I didn't get into William and Mary unfortunately :P. ahh well, you win some you lose some :P. My Aunt Shannon brought up to me "How does Dan feel about you going away to college" And I guess I don't really know how he feels, we don't really talk about it. I know that he thinks I'm going to find a new boy in college (which won't happen, I'm not the stupid one *cough cough*). And I know he really wanted me to go to Drexel because it's in Philadelphia where Nic's going to be and I guess Dan is going to try to go to school up there too. I should ask him what he's been thinking about all this college stuff :).

Currently reading Pretties by Scott Westerfield. It's a good series, starts with Uglies :)

caryatid

Not My Cup Of Tea

2010-03-29T17:27:00.000-04:00

WOOO!! I got into James Madison University! And after my weekend in New Jersey have found out I also got into Amber's one-act called "Not My Cup Of Tea." It's so funny! My name is Emmie and I'm brainless XD. I LOVE IT. Iris is my sister, Jessica. And Lyndee is my Mama! Dan also got into a one-act as the Chickenman...I can't wait to see that one lol.

Things are looking up! I'm really glad I took a risk and tried out even though I was worried of rejection :P. Because it paid off! Now I'm waiting for William and Mary and they should come in this week, AHHHHHH SO EXCITED FOR THAT TOO. It would be such a blessing to get into that fantastic college :). PRAISE THE LORD I GOT INTO JMU, GMU, MMC, and Drexel! W&M is just my number one. Of course it would come last! lol.

I'm kinda worried about Otakon this year, I don't think I'll be able to go :P. But I'm nott too worried about it. My priorities are One-Acts, Prom, and Sen10r Week right now lol. Dan's Dad invited me to go to North Carolina with them July 4th week. My Mom said I could so that'll be fun! :D

SPRING BREAK STARTS FRIDAY! :D So far I have plans to go to a concert on April 5th to see Florence and the Machine! April 10th for the Cherry Blossom Festival! And April 16th is my BIRTHDAY! the big 18! I wanna have a party for it :D...but I don't know what yet...I've planned the cake I want though! I want a cloud cake! it's going to be so cute! And I'm going out to Dinner that night and YAY SO EXCITING :D.

Today in AP Lang we talked about the film The Graduate. I really liked that movie, and Dr.Wolff asked us about if we think we're "Drifters". I said that even though I have an idea of what I'm doing with my life, and so does my family and friends, that I'm still a drifter because I don't know exactly what will happen to me. And I don't even know what I'll be studying yet in college so YIKES! I need to definitely get on that :P.

Time for scholarships!

caryatid

Sweeter than Heaven, and Hotter than Hell.

2010-03-22T17:02:00.001-04:00

Literally all I've been listening to for the past FOUR days has been Florence and the Machine. I. Can't. Stop. Any other bands I listen to now sound like crap compared to Florence and the Machine. They are seriously my all time favourite band.

Well besides that little obsession, the Musical went well. Wasn't as fun as the other ones, but still special since it was the first time we sold out since Joseph. And It's my last high school musical :). I didn't cry at the Cast party (which wasn't as fun as i thought it'd be :P) One-Acts are coming up and I'm going to audition for them! First time auditioning for something...again! lol, i'm excited. But Senior year hasn't really hit me yet :P. Like I won't be doing this stuff at all next year. I'll have my own life, and I'll be able to do pretty much whatever I want. IT ALL SOUNDS SO FOREIGN.

I'm still prom dress shopping. I have a few dresses I really like online, and they're in my price range so we'll see ^__^. I'm really excited about Prom! I want to look the prettiest! :D

Last Thursday I hung out with Amber and Veronica, we walked down the Jetty and took some cool pictures. We also went to 711...where I was asked to the movies...by someone i don't know. Anyway, after that wwe went to Terrapin Park and met up with Sam, Kyle, Nolan, and Jack. Dylan Luke, and TJ were there too...but we didn't hang out with them. It was fun, and I LOVE THAT VERO AND SAM ARE TOGETHER NOW!!! SO CUTE! :D. Cameron's a shithead...that's all i have to say about him :P. It was my Dad's bday! And Mike's bday! WEIRD.

Friday was the Cast Party...which I've already explained wasn't that great :P. I was insulted by Reed, but he didn't mean to be insulting. He just thought calling me "fieriest crotch" was funny. It's not. Anyway, everyone else was insulted too so it wasn't that big of a D.

Saturday was Molly's photoshoot. I was Little Red Riding Hood. I thought it would be a more formal kind of photoshoot, but it really wasn't. I thought Molly would be more into it and get different angles and poses, but whatevs. It was still a lot of fun hanging out with everyone and FREE FOOD! LOL My Dad came down that day as well. We ate food at Harris'. I ate some shrimp because I was still full from Molly's. That night I went to Downtown Annapolis with Dan and Eric and Ken. It was COLD. I didn't think it would be so I didn't bring a jacket. BAD IDEA :P. Ice Cream was good though :).

Sunday I went to the Mall with Casey and Helena, bought two pairs of much needed shoes and saw Alice in Wonderland. That was a great movie! I was not expecting it to be good but it really was amazing! I loved it! I think it might be a new favourite movie :).

Now were onto today, Monday March 22nd 2010 lol. Today is my Mom's 44th birthday :). Well so far I've applied to the Gap outlet and bought her a shirt. We're planning on eating dinner at Rustico's, and i was going to hang out with Eric but he hasn't texted me so :P. Dan got his phone taken away -_- stupidhead :P.

Still reading A Passage to India. I like it more now. The idea that everyone is involved in a bad situation or a good one intrigues me. So does the different perspectives.

Making a PBIS video for French. Really fun :D

caryatid

CRIKEY

2010-03-08T16:49:00.000-05:00

It's been a loooong time mates! Lol channeling my inner Steve Irwin. Anyway, the Musical is coming along...better than I thought, sure some scenes sound awful but at least it looks cool :D. Dan's little sister, Mckenzie, gave me these animal bracelets THEY ARE SO NEAT! And entertaining, I have an Elephant and a Cat!

Well last week took FOREVER to get through :P, and then the weekend flew by so fast, this morning I woke up thinking "Where did it all go?!"

Today was bright and sunny, and made me feel pretty good :D. Also new season of Gossip Girl tonight! And I finished the first season of True Blood, can't wait for season two :).

I don't have much to say today except that I've discovered the theory of existentialism...or is it a philosophy? I'm not sure which but I do like the idea. Dr.Wolff can explain it far better than I ever could. So I won't even try XD. Google it? :)

I feel like many happy days are on their way ^__^

caryatid

Sundays

2010-02-28T11:01:00.000-05:00

I love coming to Blogger on Sundays because of Post Secret. Even though I don't have many secrets, I still like reading the other peoples. I'm not sure why though. I guess I like the artsy postcards, sometimes the secrets really shock me and make me feel a lot better about myself :/ that's kinda sad to think I guess.

Well yesterday was an all day Q2Q. But apprently we got done early? SCORE, I still stayed til almost 5 because Dan was chit chatting with people. But that's ok, I enjoyed it. And When I got home I ran! I almost ran the entire trail! It's my goal to run it all the way. But It felt good and I'll start running more on nice days ^__^. Then I watched the beginning of 500 Days of Summer, but I wasn't able to finish it because Becky called me and asked if I wanted to come over and pick out our outfits for Hooverville! I was excited :). It was fun, we stopped by Mrs. Darlene's house and Mrs. Zimmerman's and they said we looked better than the actual Hooverville people XD. I can't wait to be in the background. It's gonna be hilarious XD. Then Veronica came over Becky's after work and I saw that she was talking to Dan. I like that Dan likes to help people. sigh, I just can't trust him as much as I thought I could. I'm sorry Dan I really want to, but I still have that "worried" feeling. I don't know how I can get rid of it.

I still wish I could talk about everything and yell at him about how I feel. I don't think I ever told him that. I still want to talk about it, but I think we waited too long. I don't think I'd have anything to say, I'd really have to think about it now since I've kinda tried to put it in the "forget about this" zone. It doesn't stay there though. I'm glad it doesn't. I want to remember.

Today's been a really pensive day. This whole week has been. I want a job more than anything right now. I'm gonna apply to Walgreens ^__^. Maybe I'll do well there.

caryatid

It's like trying to pull open a rosebud

2010-02-20T12:27:00.000-05:00

Lately, I've been starting to catch up on my reading! After I finished Portrait of a Lady I read Things Held Dear, Downtown Owl, Blood and Chocolate, and now I'm reading The Lightning Thief. It feels good to get all my reading done :).I went to the Library and checked out six books. All about different things. The one I'm most excited to read is Dune. I feel like it's a mix between Star Wars and Lord of the Rings.

ANYWAY, today I woke up at 7:10 am ON A SATURDAY to do the dance for NYC. It's a really cute dance and I'm glad I'm in it, I just wish I were in other things too :P. The musical's coming along nicer than I thought. Although I hate the outfits XD We have to wear the "We're in the Money" outfits they used for 42nd street :P. It's ridiculous XD and we look like elves instead of Rockettes.

This past week has gone by fast. Every day at school we've had a delay, it's nicer that way a mon avis. French class is fun, we're reading Le Petit Prince. I LOVE IT. The drawings are funny XD. Nothing's been on my mind lately, like I can't think very well this week. sighsighsigh. I went to Zumba for the first time on Thursday and it was a blast! I went with Courtney and it's basically jumping around, shaking your butt, and dancing to hip hop music XD. I LOVED IT!

Tonight Veronica and I are having an old-fashioned sleepover ^___^. I haven't had an official sleepover in a while. Last time was with Casey during December? Gosh, I used to have them once a week. It's a little upsetting, but I don't miss it too too much. I just miss the entertainment. I feel like all my life is at the moment is college, schoolwork, hanging out with Dan, and the musical :P.

caryatid

I've got a thousand opinions

2010-02-15T21:34:00.000-05:00

Listening to Kate Nash's "Mouthwash". Great song :). Anyway I found some quotes from The Portrait of a Lady that i really liked. I don't think they'd make much sense to someone who hasn't read the book yet, but I'm still putting them up here anyway. Seriously, go listen to Kate Nash's "Mouthwash" ^__^.

"The truth of things, their mutual relations, their meaning, and for the most part their horror, rose before her like an architectural vastness."
- I really like this simile because it's Henry James commenting on the experience of finally knowing the truth of things. We all go on about our lives without knowing the exact truth of everything. We're ignorant and naive. Everyone has a secret, and when you finally learn about that secret, it's like an "architectural vastness". Those two words are exactly how I feel when I learn the truth. THE EXACT WAY. I never had a word for it, but now I do. Thank you Henry James.

"It was a proof of strength--it was a proof that she should someday be happy again. it couldn't be that she was to live only to suffer; she was still young, after all, and a great many things might happen to her yet."
- This relates to the way I think of suffering because when a horrible thing happens, I try to be optimistic and think,"this won't last for long, I'll get over it and move on. I will have an amazing life." But the next quote that comes right after this is like a "BUT"

"Then she wondered if it were so vain and stupid to think well of herself. When had it ever been a guarantee to be valuable? Was not all history full of destruction of precious things?"
- I'm very doubting as well. I just liked how this came right after the quote above.

"Don't question your conscious so much, it will get out of tune like a strummed piano. Keep it for great occasions. Don't try so much to form your character--it's like trying to pull open a rosebud. Live as you like best and your character will form itself."
- Advice from Ralph to Isabel. This quote is like saying, "Don't try to hard" or "Just let the good times roll" or "Just be yourself." I personally like it because it's really great advice! And I liked the simile with the piano and rosebud :).

"Why should I be so afraid of not doing right? As if the it mattered to the world whether I did right or wrong!"
- I can be self-conscious, and sometimes I tell myself this just so I can get through something. I'm just always on edge about what people will think about me. I feel like I can relate to Isabel a lot..

"Jealously is a symptom of happiness"
-I think this to be completely true. At first I did not understand this quote at all. But jealously really is a symptom of happiness. If you're jealous of someone that's hanging around your boyfriend then you must be in love! And if you aren't jealous...then you probably aren't truly in love with them. When I first started dating Dan he would always ask me if I was jealous of anyone and I would always say "nope, I trust you". HA. Anyway, that started to change, and I became jealous of others. And this was around the time I first told him I love him. So I completely believe that jealousy is a symptom of happiness.

Looking at what I wrote and trying to explain why I chose these quote makes me DESPISE the way I write. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. I have these thoughts in my head that completely make sense, and when I try to get it out on paper or talk it out...it just doesn't work or sound the same way. UGH this is a huge problem of mine and it hasn't always been this way. I remember a time when I used to be AWESOME and I could speak beautifully. I have no idea what happened -_- sigh.

I've got nostalgic pavements
I've got familiar faces
I've got mixed up memories
and I've got favourite places

This is my face
I've got a thousand opinions
and not enough time to explain

This is my brain
it's tortuous analytical thoughts
make me go insane

caryatid

Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T10:05:00.000-05:00

Last night was Melissa's party! I'm really glad I was able to go to it this year because I had missed her 16th birthday to go to the Hyatt with Paige, Catherine, and Brittany. Wow, it's kinda hard to believe that was all the way back in 2008. Good year. Kinda...The day after i got back from the Hyatt I planned on going skiing with the church. It was a blast! But when I got home...a few hours later Dave and my Mom got into a huge fight. It was screaming/yelling/crying/throwing...just really loud. I had to go to my room and Cary wasn't there. He was at Tyler's or something. But we all went to sleep and the next day I woke up and they were at it again. Then, he left. Packed up all his things, broke their wedding picture, and left. He barely said goodbye to me. I hate him. He broke my heart. And of course my mom's. Ha I had convinced myself it was all my Mom's fault when it happened :P. It wasn't, I just wanted someone to blame. Dave had left us lots of times before, I think the most was 5. But he always came back, the first 5 times I thought he wouldn't ever come back, but he always did. This time I convinced myself that he WOULD come back...I really wish I didn't, because he never did come back. He talked to me the first few months...barely. I guess it just hurt too much and then he stopped. And I haven't heard from him since. I really miss him. I don't know why this all came out on Valentines Day, but this is just what I was thinking of as I went to sleep last night. I think he did this right after Valentines Day. Even though I said I hate him, I really don't, I love him a lot still. And I just hate what he did.

Changing Subject. Well, I made Melissa this really cute card XD and everyone made fun of it...but for fun, like they were laughing with me...I hope. And after most everyone left, itw as just Brittany, Dakota, Amber, Alex, Melissa, Mandi, Jen, and I. We were like an Old Ladies Bookclub XD. It was hilarious!! I don't think we ever stopped laughing! Even throughout the Time Traveler's Wife we laughed XD. It was ridiculous but really really fun. I wish I could have stayed longer, but my mom wanted me home. I hope to hang out with everyone again sometime ^__^.

Well, for Valentines Day today I should be hanging out with Dan sometime...lol. I don't really know when yet. I wanted to this morning, but I was off schedule. I'm really happy I'm still with Dan. I love him so much! And anything he could ever do wouldn't change my mind. ^__^.

caryatid

Snow Week!

2010-02-10T21:26:00.000-05:00

Dang we have off ALL WEEK LONG. This is good for me :D, I have a paper due whenever I get back to school that I have yet to start on XD. LOL. That's not funny...Anyway, today I decided to look up student life at MMC and what I found made me wanna go there even more! I really think that's where I should be :D I told my Mom that I have 2 friends that go there that went to KIHS and now that she knows people from my school are going there she feels better about it XD.
When I was younger I always dreamed of living in NYC but never thought it could ever happen. Now that I have the opportunity to, I feel so EXCITED. Right now I feel like I AM going to MMC come this fall! I know I'm not yet, but it just feels like it when I research the school :). And It feels good. Living there would give me so many more opportunities that I wouldn't have living anywhere else.
ANYWAY, this snow is starting to get realllll old. Especially since I don't have any snow clothes (IT NEVER SNOWS HERE!). My Grandad seems to think that Maryland is a really cold place to live and that we're used to this kind of snow XD He should know that isn't true since he lived in Virginia like forever XD. I guess he forgot. Old peopleeee lol.
Annie is gonna be SO BAD. With all these days off NYC practice has been canceled and it's apparenlty "The biggest part of the show" LAME FAIL SHIT FUCK ASS DICK BLAH. I hate the musical :P
Right now Dan and Jimmy are writing a story for Blogger? But I'm not allowed to read it -_-. DETERMINED TO FIND IT!

caryatid

Obsessed

2010-02-09T16:01:00.000-05:00

Well, not exactly obsessed but I was a HUGE fan of this model, Gemma Ward. She was what I wanted to be when I was younger (as in middle school) and I wanted to look exactly like her, act exactly like her, and do what she does. I really just wished I was her. LOL Once I got into high school I just never really looked her up anymore in magazines, I kinda gave up on fashion because my family told me to give up on it, that it wasn't something I could actually succeed in. Now I know they were wrong, but it's already too late for me I think :P.
ANYWAY, so today I was like "HMM, I wonder what work Gemma's been doing lately" Come to find out she hasn't done anything since 2008! Because she was Heath Ledger's girlfriend and after he died she just stopped working, and gained some weight (I mean she looks healthy, just not modely anymore. yaknow?). It made me realize how much I've missed! I still know some things about fashion but NOTHING about the people behind it all. I'm gonna start working on that again XD. O! And I was trying on different outfits today that would look interesting together...I guess they would be considered "INDIE" but to me they're just cute! :D So imma wear em to school ASAP.
Damn all this snow, I was really looking forward to Valentines day but now we have school the day after? :P SUCKS. Anyway, whenever I look through a magazine or editorial, I always get inspired to start working on new outfits XD. I can't wait to buy loads of magazines once I have some moulaaa.

caryatid

Why do I do this to myself?

2010-02-07T22:53:00.000-05:00

I need to stop. It only hurts, and I don't know what satisfaction it will give me. But I feel the need to be satisfied.
This is a really vague blog today. It's meant to be though. I don't feel like rewriting the past.

caryatid

Hmm..

2010-02-05T12:52:00.000-05:00

I don't think I fully explained my story in the last blog. I wanted to say something about the friends I have right now; I do think that we will be friends beyond college (like Amber, Eric, Nic, Dan, Veronica, hopefully Derrick, Casey, etc..). But I was just talking about the past and how it has lead up to this moment in my life :).
Just thought I'd acknowledge that piece of information I left out ^_^

caryatid

Catching Up

2010-02-04T21:59:00.000-05:00

It was really nice hanging out with Nic today. I feel like I really needed that, and I just love catching up with people. There was rarely a pause in the conversation XD We both had a lot to say and I miss that. Having someone you can tell everything to.
I was telling Dan the other night that I've never really had a long-time best friend. Like most people have friends that they've known since elementary school. For me, my friends have only been constant for at the most 4 years. I believe it went Jerrica, then Maddie, then Britt and Lily. I've had other friends along the way that I consider my best friends too, but these 4 were like my family. Now I rarely talk to any of them. I just really miss my girl nights where we could go out and do the stupidest things but have the best time :).
I don't think I feel any different from someone who's had a friend for their whole life, I just think it would be really nice to have that. Someone you can trust no matter what happens. That's what I give to my friends. I give them all my trust, I don't believe I have ever broken someone's trust before. People have broken mine, but if you're my friend and I love you...no matter what you do...even if you murder someone, or hurt me in the worst possible way you could, I'll always forgive you (never forget though). I don't think that makes me weak at all. I think it makes me stronger. It shows that I have faith in people, and most of the time that's what people need. Everyone needs someone that believes in them. And right now, I don't think I have that.
Thank you blog for making me realize what I need: someone that can believe and rely on me. <3

caryatid

Feeling Trapped

2010-01-28T22:11:00.000-05:00

Today I received another acceptance letter, from George Mason University, I was happy...my mother was ecstatic. This is THEE SCHOOL she wants me to go to. I honestly don't really like the school that much. It's supposed to be a good school...but it's in the area where I grew up, I don't wanna go back there, and there's a large student body there, I want to go to a small school like...o idk Marymount Manhatten: One of the schools my family pretty much forbids me from going to -_-. Although I got in with a scholarship, unlike with George Mason.
I overheard my Mom telling my Grandma today that I got into George Mason but that I don't wanna go there. My Grandmother pretty much told my Mom that I had to go there, and that there was no other option. It's close to them, so they can keep an eye on me. I wanted to SCREAM. I HATE THAT EVERYTHING GETS DECIDED FOR ME. This will not be their decision, IT IS MINE. Although they're family and helping me out with this...I will leave them if I have to. I want to be able to do what I want, and George Mason doesn't offer me that. George Mason keeps me trapped.
I feel like a prisoner to my family. I have to do everything within their qualifications. I can't even wear the shoes I want without them criticizing me or yelling at me to go wear something else! I may be sounding a bit ridiculous, but that's what they're doing to me. It really hurts my feelings, I used to have a certain style that I loved dressing up to, but now I'm just a normal girl, there's almost nothing left of me that's unique. Maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic, I'm sure there's some uniqueness left but I'm not feeling it right now.
I want to be the old Christie again, I want to have fun, I want to be bold.

Caryatid

J'ai une Idea

2010-01-26T21:04:00.000-05:00

As I was reading my AP Lang textbook today it pointed something out about Journaling. It said that Journaling should not just be about what happens throughout your day, it should have a point, or idea about a certain message you want your audience to know. I consider this blog to be like a Journal for me, so reading that made me realize that I've been going about this all wrong.
I need IDEAS for what to write about! My everyday situations must get boring! SHEESH why did I not realize this?? I am not a pleasant writer to read, but I hope to be able to at least keep people interested! I feel as if I lost that ability...Anyway, my idea for today's blog is: Things you say you're going to do, but never actually end up accomplishing them. Like New Year's Resolutions.
Every year I attempt to fulfill a NYR, but it usually never gets done. This year my top two are to start dressing nice again(even in the cold!) and to tone up. SO FAR the two resolutions are unsuccessful. I have the clothes to be pretty again, but I'm just so goddamn lazy..O! Lazy in french = paresseux :P. And I also have the ability to tone up...I'm just still so PARESSUEX!!! How do I overcome this laziness?! And how do I become motivated. I NEED ANSWERS!!!
On the Brightside, the weather's finally warming up...WAIT off topic...DAMN this is difficult. LAZINESS SHOULD NOT CONTROL OUR LIVES. but it still manages to come back to me after that really productive day yesterday T_T.
I'm leaving now :P

Caryatid

Philly

2010-01-23T16:19:00.000-05:00

OK, So yesterday I was supposed to go midnight bowling with everyone...but that was canceled due to my Mother because we were to go to Philly today. We did do the 2 hour drive to Philadelphia for Tony Luke's. They do have really good food. But we were there for about 30 minutes...then left XD. We just got back. And I think it was worth it. I like cities for some reason. Mike said that our next trip is going to be to NYC for pizza XD. I really hope we do that! Because while we're up there I wanna visit MMC...and all the shopping <3.
I still need to do my AP Lang assignment. But I cannot bring myself to start working on it! All I've been wanting to do lately is DANCE. There's this party girl in me that really really really wants to come out. I feel really slutty when I say that but it's the truth! >.<
I was talking about Senior week today with my family and it's so exciting! The last time I was on my own in OC was last spring break. And we may be doing that again. Which would be fun! But last spring it was really chilly and rainy and not all that great :P. Hopefully this summer will be better! Beach EVERYDAY :D. WOOP WOOP!
Well I think that's all for now, I wanna start putting other things in my blogger though. Not just what I do during the day...hmmm. Maybe I should be all "Buddha says" again XD. Those were fun times. I used to be all philosophical XD. It was grrrrrrEAT. TATA FOR NOW. Hopefully I can go to England this summer :D That would be really exciting!

Caryatid

The Lovely Bones

2010-01-21T14:34:00.000-05:00

Last night Dan and I went to see The Lovely Bones.It was an amazing movie and had me crying most of the time. Crying movies = good movies(because they can get a reaction outta you). It is my new favourite movie ^_^. We went to the Harbor Center to see it because it wasn't playing at Annapolis Mall. So now I know my way around Annapolis a little better! So that's good :).
When I got back to the island we went to Taco Bell, and we waited outside for like 15 minutes because I couldn't decided what I wanted XD. So Dan got angry and made me choose and go through the drive-thru :P. I had this 5 layer burrito thing...it was pretty good. I was kinda disappointed though because my Mom makes this thing that we call "Chicken-in-a-Bag" (that sounds so redneck XD). IT'S SO GOOD. And she said that she was going to make that for Dinner...but she didn't T_T So I had TB.
We went to the Bayside Clubhouse and got the movie Halloween 2. We didn't watch it though XD Because I was scared. So instead we watched All in the Family. i left at like 1:30 am -_- I used to be able to do that...now it's really hard to leave that late, because I feel like I'm going to fall asleep at the wheel :P. It could just be because school is in session and I'm using all my brain-power XD. NEXT SEMESTER COMING UP woop woop!
My classes are: French V, Trig, AP Lit, and AP Lang. Two classes with the Wolff again XD. I need to do that "summer assignment" for the class still -_- I'll try to start it today..but VAMPIRE DIARIES COMES ON TONIGHT!! It's really weird for me to like tv shows this much, but I follow Glee, Gossip Girl, and Vampire Diaries like it depends on my life . I think that's unhealthy.

caryatid

The Weekend

2010-01-18T15:34:00.000-05:00

OK we'll start off with Friday: SO in AP Lit we took part of our final exam. I miscalculated the time and did not finish my essay. I was very upset about this because I have never not finished a timed essay! It was horrible :(, but then I came home later that day and found out I was accepted into another college, one i really wanted to go to :) Marymount Manhatten! :D. It's really nice knowing that I have a place to go now, a lot of my stress is gone :). Also Lately I've been feeling like I've gained a lot of chubby :(. it makes me upset, so I'm gonna do something about it. WELL ANYWAY in physics on friday I took another part of my exam, and it was easier than I thought :D. After school I went with Dan to his Dad's in NJ. His family is really nice, so I had a good time :). While we were there we watched Taken and Jennifer's Body. They were rally good movies! I was surprised that I like Jennifer's Body so much.
I can't wait to see Lovely Bones! It came out this weekend so hopefully I can catch it before it leaves!!!! :D schools tomorrow and I need to memorize the rest of my speech and read some more for AP Lit :P. Not too excited for school tomorrow -_-.

caryatid

Accepted

2010-01-14T19:25:00.000-05:00

Well today I received my first acceptance letter! It was from Drexel, I also received the Dean's Scholarship so that's awesome! I'm super-excited about everything because it's the first one! And even though there's a slim chance of my going to Drexel, I'm glad I got in :).
Tomorrow are my finals and I'm heading to Dans Dad's with him for the weekend :). I'm nervous about the finals but happy to see Dans family :D. I have half of a physics final and half of an AP Lit final T_T. I need to study but i have yet to do so :P. I'm baking pizza right now though and doing the laundry :P. I'm being productive! Just not in a scholarly way XD. I'm a bit sad that this semesters over because i really liked Speech class with Derrick and Caitlin and everyone else. Also I'm gonna miss Physics a bit. I really like Mr.Mckim he's a sweetheart! Also I don't think I have any classes with Derrick next semester :P SO this STINKS T_T_T_T. But hopefully we have lunch together and see more of each other because of the musical :).
Lately I've been really self-conscious about myself. I feel like i need to start watching what I eat and working out again. Which I do need to do seeing as i don't get much walking time since this winters been so damn cold. I wish i had the clubhouse key so i could go to the clubhouse and run on the treadmill and do the bike thing!! :D haha i'm gonna ask mike for the key :). I also wanna do yoga with Nic soon. I promised him! ^__^
Hopefully I do well on my finals tomorrow, and hopefully Dan's toes get better, and hopefully I get fit and healthy again, and hopefully i get accepted to the rest of the colleges I applied to! ^__^

caryatid

An Empty Shell

2010-01-12T21:39:00.000-05:00

Maybe one day I'll write a tidbit about my middle school life. Just to get it out there. I haven't thought about it in a long time, but recently it's starting to come back to me. I don't like the way I was back then, I'm too embarrassed to think or talk about it. SO maybe I'll write it...maybe. I was very stupid back then though. I was stupid, but i had reasons to be. I had no one. I was a complete insecure loser who thought too highly of herself. I know that doesn't make sense put together. But that was exactly who I was.
I don't feel like talking about it today.

caryatid

Remembering Sunday

2010-01-11T21:06:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here, procrastinating :). I don't know why I smile when I say that word...but i do XD. WELL yesterday Derrick and I went to the mall! I went for shoes, Derrick for pants. WELLL haha, I found 3 shirts and 2 skirts XD, and Derrick found a shirt. SO WE FAILED T_T. I did find a good pair of shoes, but they didn't have any left at Sear's. So maybe I can hassle my Mom into getting me a new pair online ( they are much needed, believe me! My other boots have holes in them XD).
Today at school I received my Senior Paper grade. I got an A- on it. I think that's a good grade and all, it's just when Dr.Woolf gave it to me she said, "I felt ambivalent about your paper, Christie." I always feel like Dr.Woolf is holding me up to this higher expectation than everyone else. I think it may be just me, but I think she really does! Maybe it's just the fact I have 3 classes with her and we're BFFS XD jkjk. WHAT DOES AMBIVALENT MEAN?!?!?! T_T_T_T_T. Well I should be getting my final say from Drexel within the week, that's exciting. But I don't think I really want to go to school there. I just applied cause there was no application fee :). I really hope to get into all the other schools I applied to though. I still may apply to two more, I'm thinking about York college and St.John's a lot lately. Maybe I will apply to them ^__^, depends how I'm feeling after finals XD.
Today this boy names Alexsander Landolfi stuck his head in my face, it was really awkward and I looked away, but he was literally like a centimeter away from my face XD. It was so weird! Anyway, practice was horrible! Everyone sounds sad and it's supposed to be a happy song XD. Also the leads aren't that great, they're boring! :P I wish he would just choose different people. That's what he needs to do if he wants this show to be any good :P
Lovely Bones comes out this weekend! But I may be going to Dan's Dad's house this weekend. I love Dan's Dad's family, they're so nice and his little brothers and sister are so cute!!! I can't get over how cute Jackson is, I love him. SORRY DAN YOU HAVE COMPETITION ;D

caryatid

Wake Up in the Morning

2010-01-08T11:42:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling like P.DIDDY. Just kidding. I'm actually on weheartit.com and looking up french pictures because I'm feeling a little French today :). I miss my camera. I would really love to put on a pretty outfit and take pictures in the snow today. But, I cannot. Because I did not receive a camera for Christmas and it's been about 2 years since I've had one -_-. I miss doing the little photo-shoots :P.
Well today I will be going over to Helena's to have a girls night! I'm really excited for this because I haven't had a girls night in...about 6 months. So this is much needed :).
O I FORGOT TO SAY! Today is a Snow Day! WOOHOO. Gonna watch Gossip Girl today :D. I'm addicted, yes.
Seeing as it's only the morning I do not have much to say, maybe later in the day I will :P.
O! Last night I was trying to figure out how to change my background to a picture. I just don't know how :P. If anyone knows. Help me?

Caryatid

Chipped Nails

2010-01-07T21:38:00.000-05:00

My problem today: chipped nails. All day they kept chipping! All I want is some nice nailpolish that don't chip, and i would love nice nails that don't indent, and i would also love nice soft hands. But we don't get everything we want do we?
Songs stuck in my head today: WE AT DA HOTEL, MOTEL, HOLIDAY INN!!! haha and ONLY THE GOOOOOOOD DIEEEEE YOUNGGGG. It got really bad during physics. All i could say XD
Today I wore this shirt I bought at Second Hand Rose yesterday. It's a boys shirt i think...it fits like a boys. But I put a waist cincher on it to make it more form fitting, and now iz girly! :D
Hopefully we have a snow day tomorrow, or some kind of a delay :P I would really enjoy that extra rest. ALSO I WOULD LOVE IT IF THE WEATHER WAS WARMER. I bought some cute dresses that I can't wear in this godforsaken cold -_-.
Unlike last January and February when I was sad. This January and February actually seems to be looking like it's gonna be fun :D. I'm totally excited for what my future holds! :)

caryatid

Second Hand Rose

2010-01-06T18:48:00.000-05:00

Today started out pretty nice. I even had Alexis mention, "You're looking cheerful today!" She's adorable! The fact is I was feeling pretty good. I also still felt awesome when i went shopping with my mother (which is shocking btw). We went to Second Hand Rose, I bought a few shirts and a little surprise for Dan :). We also went to Safeway; as usually the first thing I do when I go there is Starbucks. I ordered a Chai Tea Latte, but they gave me some sort of coffee at first? And I was like WOAH, nu uh I need my chai. So they fixed it and it was yummy, just a tad too milky :P. STILL GOOD. Then I get home and I ask Dan if Sydney has texted him back yet. And he said that she had texted him back but said "Hey"... I was like WTF?! After he sends her a novel she just replies days later with a "Hey". Is she mentally challenged? Really? If she doesn't reply to Dan I will talk to her. Hell I'll probably still talk to her about this even if she does reply to Dan's message. People really piss me off -_-.
OVERALL: still in good mood :). I'm going to take a nice shower to relieve my anger XD.

P.S. THOSE PEARS ARE SO COOL
caryatid

Steamed Dumplings

2010-01-04T20:24:00.000-05:00

I have adopted a new love for Chinese food. Having not grown up with the delicious taste as a child it was a sudden PANG when I ate some the other night with Molly and Nic. I realized I LOVE CHINESE FOOD! It's amazing! I cannot believe my Mom has been keeping me from this because of a food poisoning accident :P. But she's always been a worry-wort like that. You learn to live with it.
I've decided that I will write how I actually feel in these blogs, because usually I keep it friendly here incase someone I know sees it...but I'm positive none of my friends even use this anymore XD so WOOHOO free thoughts coming out XD.
Well today I wrote a note to Dan in speech, ranting about how i feel and how things will play out if anything else happens. I think I'm getting my point across this time...
Physics was moderately simple and understandable today...surprisingly, we're learning about magnets. And we're building a motor right now. It's kinda fun. Michelle and I's wooden block broke the first time though XD We learned our lesson. Wrapping the damn wire about the nail took FOREVERRR. lol
Listening to Lady GaGa's new album. I like it. It's different. She has a good voice. And even though she's weird, i love her.
I was reading Just Listen and the main character Annabel reminds me of myself a bit... here's something she said:

a message sank into me: that being nice is the ideal, the one place where people didn't get loud or so quiet they could scare you. If you could just be nice, then you wouldn't have to worry about arguments at all. But being nice wasn't as easy as it seemed, especially when the rest of the world could be so mean.

Nic called me today, I think Bonnie was in the background XD I heard someone else's voice. But they were making plans for Otakon. I'm really excited about this year! I think this one will be the best yet! :D They told me I should go as Vanille from FFXIII but i've only played a few FF games and haven't played the XIII one XD. I still really like her outfit. But I also like Bayonetta's outfit a lot too! Also Dan said I should be the Wendy's girl...I don't know which one is best XD.

caryatid

Hello 2010

2010-01-03T22:12:00.000-05:00

I think I've been using this thing for almost a year. That's surprising, i usually don't stick with things that long. Well WOOHOO Graduation year is here! And i've applied to 5 schools thus far :). It feels good, not gonna lie. I think I'll be ready for this. SO far lots of good things have happened in 2010!
My Mom's getting married to Mike on Oct 2nd :D and I might be getting a little green car from my Dad! Which then will allow me to get a job and I'll be having $$$$ :D I was so happy on New Year's at Casey's with everyone. It's nice having a big fun new years with all your friends and you can actually remember it XD. I love Casey's mom, Miss Patty. She is a sweetheart.
But there has been a minor bump in the road although it's only January 3rd -_-. Dan is a major poop head. He's so stupid and idc if he's reading this cause he needs to hear it. He needs to get his act together. He's getting harder to trust...I hate that I feel like I'm not good enough. If this doesn't change, I'm going to change it for us :P I love him so much, and I really hope he keeps his promises. I don't ever wanna feel the same way i felt when he broke up with me last March. And I NEVER EVER wanna feel the way i felt last June. Although it came close the other night -_-. I didn't get as mad as I wanted too. I just want him to know that he has a good thing going for him being with me :/ and that hurting my feelings won't keep me here. I'm sure he knows that though, he just can't keep his penis at bay. I hope someone puts it on a stove XD
Men. are. stupid.
Well, school starts tomorrow and I finished the Joy Luck Club, it was an alright book...not a favourite though :P. I'm gald I read it :)
My New Year's Resolutions: Get a job, Wear pretty clothes again, start working out cause i'm getting lazy :P, learn to cook well :), have a kickass time at Otakon, stop caring about what others think of me, and not getting embarrassed.
OO! I forgot to say that we're going to be moving into a bigger house soon :D I'm excited!

caryatid

Christmas Day

2009-12-25T20:18:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas to all! Today started out with myself waking up at the ungodly hour of 7:30 to open gifts, then I went to Dan's house to let Chelsea out. My Daddy was supposed to come that morning to hang out for a bit...but he never showed up :(. I called him and left messages but nada. So while Mike, Mom, Cary, and I were driving to VA to see my Grandparents, Aunt, and Uncle he called and asked if we could meet him at Grandma's. We saw him there after we were done eating but it was awkward cause he can't come inside cause my Papa doesn't like him very much :P. Anyway, i got some nice gifts. My favourite would have to be the headbands I got, they are gorgeous! ^__^. I had made a list for my family because they asked me too before Christmas...but i didn't get anything on my list XD. I was a little disappointed about it...but i can't say I didn't see it coming, they did that last year too :P.
I got a TON of books. Books about Amish people, books I've already read XD. Kinda a fail, but i bought myself Angels and Demons and the Three Musketeers :). I don't want to seem ungrateful for the books I got...but I can tell I'm just not gonna read them XD.
Tomorrow My brother and I are going to the Mall to shop the sales! LOL. I wish I could see Dan on Christmas but we has families stuff to attend to :P I miss him lots. LOVE YOU DAN! i think you're the only one reading this anymore XD. If you even still read it :P

caryatid

:(

2009-12-22T19:25:00.000-05:00

I know yesterday I had some fun but it was short-lived. I NEED MORE OF IT. I feel really lonely, i can't use the car (mom has it right now) no one seems to ever text me back. I kinda feel like I'm being shunned :( although i don't think that's true. So far this break has been kinda shitty :P
Highlight of the day: Paige giving me my gift :)

caryatid

Avatar

2009-12-21T23:45:00.000-05:00

Beautiful movie, the picture was so cool to look at. I absolutely loved it. Although this movie was showing the people of Pandora, I think it's a lot more about Pandora itself. IDK if anyone will understand what I mean by saying that but i'll give it try. I think it was more about the Planet because of the setting. Everything was always so beautiful. If there was a shot of the people flying; the background would be so pretty I couldn't even watch the people. Also how the Naavi people were connected to everything by their hairstrands. They could connect to the animals and the Earth. I enjoyed this movie a lot :).
So far break has been boring, but tonight made everything a lot more fun because I was with people. Originally I was supposed to see Avatar with Derrick and friends. But tonight I went with Eric, Nic, Dan, Peter, and Ryan. Afterwords we went to McDonald's and I saw Derrick and his brother Alex. I felt bad that I didn't see it with him. But we couldn't yesterday because of the snow :(.
Everything's been really chill. No drama for me, no expectations. College stuff almost complete. Everythings going fine. I just hope it stays that way til after break :).
AND I NEED TO DANCE!!! I need to go to a party ASAP. ferrealllll :D:D:D::D

caryatid

Season's Greetings

2009-12-19T14:09:00.000-05:00

Today I woke up at about 12 and looked outside my door to see about a foot of snow! Then I become blinded by the light and fall over and hit my face on a table. Now there is a scratch on my cheek :(. It's kinda funny, but it hurt XD. I finished my William and Mary and Marymount Manhattan essays, now i just have to send em in ^__^. Gosh everything's been working out lately and today I'm smiling :D. I kinda miss hanging out with people. This week I've been really distant. I'm not sure why...maybe it's because I was so stressed about all my projects, or maybe it's because i have a new obsession for Vampire Diaries! Whatever it is, I'm stopping it and hanging out with people XD. It's only the first day of Winter Break and I can already tell that this break was much needed ^__^.
My Granddad wants to take the family to England because a lot of us have never been before. I would LOVE to go if he decides that's what we're doing this summer. I'm really excited for the future ^__^

caryatid

100th post!

2009-12-15T18:28:00.000-05:00

WOWzers, I never thought i'd make it to this number! haha, i actually just never even thought about making to to any number...Anyway this past week has gone by VERY SLOWLY. I mean it's only Tuesday but i want it to be Friday soooo bad. Today in Global Studies Sof was a COMPLETE asshole to the first group to present this big project. They didn't have a laptop so he freaked out on them. It's not their fault for not being able to get a laptop, that shits expensive! I felt so bad and a lot of the class did too. Tomorrow Taylor and I go to present and I'm kinda nervous. I really hope everything works out fine for this project because I definitely do not want to deal with the wrath of Sof.
I did my Speech in Speech class today. It was on War of the Worlds because we just watched that film and have to tell about our favourite scene...it was an OK speech...I definitely could have done better. It's all over now :P. In Ap Lit I was told I looked like i was concentrating on something really hard XD Or like I had a lot on my mind. And apparently I've been very quiet lately...I do not notice this change in myself! In physics Derrick and I just passed notes and watched Mythbusters. Turns out your water heater can blow through your house like a rocket!
Play Practice today was SO BORING. I hate not doing anything, I want something to say! I want a part and I expected a part. I hate it. But it's not gonna get better if i just talk about how much i hate it. I just need to think that this musical will be fun and it will be :) New philosophy thanks to Derrick and Petruchio XD.
I'm reading Taming of the Shrew and The Joy Luck Club so expect characters from them popping up in here every once in a while XD.
Today I got Dan's gift in the mail. i have to return it though because I fail :(
I've been watching Vampire Diaries recently, it's a pretty good show :)
I also need to work on my Senior Paper -_- this is gonna suck with no printer T_T I can't do everything again, but it always ends up working out...someway.
I need to party this break. really really need too

caryatid

Crunchy Leaves Make me Smile

2009-12-10T21:03:00.000-05:00

Today was...alright. Project still not perfect -_-. School computers suck. Technology sucks. Sof's just gonna have to deal with it cause we TRIED EVERYTHING :P. I'm siked for Winter Break. I really need this right now :) Even if i have to spend it alone...actually I'll be kinda pissed if i have to spend my break alone but whatevs XD. I won't be, hopefully. I just don't have any money to go out and party with people. I still don't know what I'm doing for New Years. I want to go have fun :) I think I will.
Still upset about Annie -_- I know i have no control over everything that's happened, i just wish I could have been given a chance. I know I can do really well and no one's ever given me the chance to try. I hate that. The casting doesn't make sense to me, but whatever they think is best is what's gonna happen -_-. I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE. Maybe if I say it enough i'll actually start not caring....I DON'T CARE...nope not working. I do care :P
I'm still having issues with having girlfriends. I don't feel lonely, but I miss that feeling of girl talk. I know I talk the same with boys, i just wish i had a Paige with me a lot. Britt and I are just not talking...ever i think. She was a good friend to me when I didn't have a boyfriend, or when I was lesser than her. Once I had something better than her we started to grow apart. And i didn't really care. I always thought if I lost a friend as close as Britt I would care a lot. But it honestly did not effect me...like at all. I just wanted things to be better between us but they never got better. So i stopped trying. I know part of me having friends involves me TRYING to make them. But I guess i'm just in my comfort zone right now and I don't want to let any new people into my life and try to established a nice friendship yaknow?
I need to email my guidance counselor college stuff.

caryatid

Fuck It All

2009-12-09T20:59:00.000-05:00

Wow the Annie Cast is really gonna suck. Really considering quitting, but everyones like NOOOOO BLAHBLAHBLAH. I don't give a shit. I'm nothing, it sucks. Don't say "i'm sorry" cause you may care but that's not gonna help me boost my ego. Give me a hug instead bitch. I want to quit really bad, but i also want to stay...I don't know why, because i'm not getting anything out of it. -_-
Watching Glee right now. it's totally not going to make me happier. I think I'll be bitchy for aboutttt a week or so. Until I find something that makes me happy.
Finished the Da Vinci Code. It was good. I'm now reading The Joy Luck Club :). I'm happy about that. Kinda
Wow I never thought this would bring me down so much. I just actually expected a part and i guess you have to learn not to expect anything. Whatever

caryatid

The Age of Innocence

2009-12-05T20:02:00.000-05:00

I want to read that book. Almost done The Da Vinci Code. It's amazing how much I didn't know XD. I can't wait to read Angels and Demons, I should have read that one first but i do not own that one just yet. Today I slept til 11:45 when i heard a knock on the door. But I didn't answer the first knock because i was sleeping hoping whoever was there would go away. Then they knocked again. So I went downstairs and a cop car was out front pulling away...So i thought that was strange...a cop knocked on my door? i wonder why? So I call my mom and she was like WHAT did they leave anything? And i told her they did not. But when my mom got home she mentioned something about these charges, and told me not to worry about it? Whatevs. I'm not gonna worry. hopefully.
Tomorrow Taylor is coming around 3 to work on our project. Maybe if we get done early we can go to the mall or something ^__^. I want to find ideas for Dan's XMAS gift. And I'll have to remember that he doesn't read -_-. Unless its about David Bowie. Or if Mrs. Butler gives him something to read.
I think I have Carpel Tunnel in my Pinkey finger >.< it doesn't go straight on it's own T_T_T_T. not gonna worrry.
I'm pretty anxious to see how the musical turns out >.< i thought i knew who was gonna get who, but now i have no idea. :P I really wish my Guidance Counselor would come to school to help me with my college shit T_T she wasn't in school alll week so I'm FREAKINGGG sighsighsigh

caryatid

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

2009-12-03T21:06:00.000-05:00

Robert Frost is surprisingly pessimistic. Haha I always thought he was optimistic, I'm looking at his poems in a whole different way now :). And I kinda like it. Today were auditions for Annie. I did well, i could have done better. But i did well enough. We'll see the results next week :).
In first period Taylor and I got bitched at by Sof. because we have a week more to do our project but it's not good enough yet. Whatever, I wasn't even there yesterday so i'm kinda pissed because I do good in school. I don't get that kinda shit everyday. I think he was just in a pissy mood because all the computers were down, but seriously don't take it out on the kids because us seniors have enough to worry about right now. Like out FUTURES -_-. Dr. Wolffs classes were relaxing. Thank God I have two classes with her this semester. We're watching "The Searchers" in Speech. I kinda like it...haha John Wayne is so funny XD. "That'll be the day!" LOL
Physics was cool, we learned stuff about surfers. And we watched the Perfect Storm. Mark Wahlburg is kinda attractive. I never noticed before XD FAIL.
My mom bitched at me today too for not having a job. I want to do the musical and if I get a part I don't want to get a job. I have schoolwork to do. And if i get a job it'll just be wasting my time. Like my mom was saying "when i was 16 I had a job and i worked all the time YOU SHOULD TOO TO FUCKING HELP ME PAY THE BILLS!" my response? "yea but you got shitty grades" and i wish i added "and you never had to work and give all your earned money to your Mom. This isn't the 1900s. I don't want to waste my time working for her. Then i wouldn't get much time to be with Dan, or social time for friends, or be able to keep any of my money for bday or xmas presents. Whenever i get money, mom just has to steal it. IT SUCKS SO MUCH. I want to get my friends gifts, and i want to buy them stuff when i have money but i can't with her taking it all! I feel like a loser -_-. I just want to move out and go to college(cause she won't be paying for it), and making my own money that I get to keep ALLLL to myself. It's sad that i don't know what it feels like to keep the money you earn. :(

caryatid

Ring Pops

2009-11-30T22:12:00.000-05:00

I've decided that this is Dan and I.
Today started out kinda nice. We got a project in Global Studies, which is kinda a bummer. But then AP Lit wasn't too bad. Dissecting Robert Frost haha. Lunch was nice, i started a ring pop and didn't finish it til Physics XD. My mouth was completely blue by the time workshops started XD. The dance was surprisingly easy. I was expecting something really hard so :). The songs I'm ok with. I can sing it awesome a few times, but if i keep going my voice starts to get scratchy :P. I'm pretty excited for this year because(i know this sounds bad XD) but all the seniors are gone, and they were the ones who got all the parts. So hopefully I get a nice part now that I have a chance ^__^. When I got home today, I went straight to sleep and only woke up for Mac and Cheese, and Gossip Girl. Can't wait til next weeks show!!!! :D. I slept with this candle on in my room, and it makes everything smell really nice. It's Black Cherry ^__^. Well I'm going to workshops tomorrow as well, so hopefully I can improve :). Auditions Thursday with Derrick!

caryatid

Aim, Snap, WIN

2009-11-28T12:38:00.000-05:00

Finished application for George Mason, James Madison, and Drexel! Now I'm excited :D, it was surprisingly way easier than I thought it would be :). Right now I'm listening to Bad Romance, I think it's my favourite song (along with Just Dance) from Lady Gaga. My hair's straight today and idk if I want it to be curly or not. Hmph. Today should be fun, idk why I'm writing a Blog this early. Probably just to show that I finished my essays XD.
O! My dream last night was soooo strange!! Ok so Dan, Eric, Amber, and I were in NYC. We were making a documentary about some people but we accidentally got split up. So Amber and I were in Chinatown and we saw a church of lesbian women led by the Disney Asian go by and we made a documentary on them XD. And then we decided that getting lost is really fun, so we stayed in a random hotel.
Then my other dream I was at my Grandma and Papa's house. I started to hear some meowing and fighting sounds so I went into the basement and outside was there new cat Jimmy(they really don't have a new cat though. This is a dream XD) fighting this Momma Cat, and it had babies who were badly hurt. So she brought them inside. I told Jimmy to go away and he did. Then I called down my Papa and I was crying cause I didn't know what to do with the hurt baby kittens. They were so cute!!!T_T and then we got a box and put a blanket on the bottom and carefully picked them up and into the box with the Momma Cat. Then we took them to a rescue center to be fixed up ^__^
I FELT LIKE A HERO ^__^

caryatid

Black Friday

2009-11-27T17:09:00.000-05:00

So Veronica asked me to help her work at St.John's today. So I was excited and said YES because I've always wanted to work in retail. So we leave at about 11 pm for the outlets. And employees had to park all the way at Grasonville Elementary and take a shuttle bus to the outlets because there were so many people waiting for the midnight shopping! It took a thirty minutes to go 5 miles. Once we finally get there everythings going pretty slow, but eventually all the crazy Asian woman start to come and they fit like 3 people in one little itty bitty dressing room! IT'S CRAZY. And they're fiesty! At around 3-4am it starts to rain and get really cold, so there's like noone left at the outlets, so Vero and I walk around and she bought a shirt at pacsun for 6 bucks ^__^. I have no money so FAIL but I should be getting money from working til 7am soon XD.
When I got home I fell asleep til about 2:30. Then I cleaned my room and it looks NIIIICE :D I enjoy cleaning. I really want to start on more college essays but I'm afraid I'll get tired and won't finish them :P
It's super windy out! But the water looked really cool today cause the sun was out. Haven't seen that in awhile XD. Tomorrow's the cast party and I'm making Rice Krispie Treats!:D I looooooooooove themmmmmm SO I'M PRETTY EXCITEDDDD :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
au revoir

caryatid

Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T19:34:00.000-05:00

I AM THANKFUL FOR MY BF DAN ^___^
and my hilariously Republican family XD
Also, I'm thankful for good friends.
Those seem like the average what everyone should say...sooOOOOOoOoo
I'm thankful for my soap, it makes me clean.
I'm thankful for my laptop, it keeps me connected.
I'm thankful for myself, because i love myself...
I'm thankful for my Brain, it's quite bright.
I'm thankful for my candle, it's making stuff smell nice.
And I'm thankful for life.

caryatid

Do You Ever Live in the Past?

2009-11-25T20:32:00.000-05:00

Today I think I've been living in the past. I've just been remembering a lot of things from Summer 2009. It's kinda hard to think about Summer 2009 because it wasn't my best Summer experience. I found out some heartbreaking information, I lost my best friend, and I didn't do everything I wanted to :/. But it would never call it a "bad" summer. This is my Senior year and I know I'm always talking about it in here...but isn't senior year supposed to be fun? Isn't it supposed to be your best experience from High School?! If you were to ask me today "which year was my favourite" I wouldn't be able to give you an answer because I loved them all! Freshman year I discovered that there are a lot more awesome people than the bitches who are graduating with me. Sophomore year I discovered new people that I grew very close too :). And Junior Year I started dating Dan. But Senior year so far...I've been in a play...and I've applied to college...Yea. Hopefully it gets more exciting XD
Workshops for the Musical are on Monday and Tuesday ^__^ I'm really excited for this because i'm hoping I get a part so I can be like " Yea my senior year i was ... in the musical!" haha XD
i watched My Neighbour Totoro today ^__^

caryatid

Deadlines

2009-11-22T21:37:00.000-05:00

Wow, my mother really knows how to make every situation into a nightmare. She managed to make me cry all the while I was trying to show her what I've been doing with all my applications. My Dad made me feel soooo much better though. It's good to know at least SOMEONE is supporting what I actually want and not trying to force me to be in a feggin VIRGINIA school. It's not that I think Virginia schools are bad, I think they're really good. I just would rather be somewhere else...Like Annapolis, or NYC perhaps? Pretty much done application for GMU and Drexel. Now all I need is those damn essays -_-. I don't think I'm gonna be able to get all of my applications in by December 1st. And I guess that's ok, just makes the financial part of college a little more difficult :/. I guess I should be blaming this on my procrastination. But I don't procrastinate that baddd! I've just been kinda busy :/.
Well today was the last day of Harvey, and all the Seniors got to go out and get recognised. It was really nice to be standing out there with everyone :). But it's also kinda saddening, because today I was texting Dan about how my mom was making me so upset...and he was like "well if you go to a Virginia school I can still be close to you" and that made me kinda sad :/ i just wish I could make 50,000 dollars a year to go to Annapolis -_-.
Annie auditions are coming up soon, hopefully I can have fun with it and get a big part ^___^

caryatid

You Are the Only Exception

2009-11-17T21:52:00.000-05:00

Woke up from a terrible nightmare this morning :(. I haven't had one of those in a while. Then I was late to school :P, but Veronica drove me so it's ok ^__^. But I didn't get to see Dan this morning :P made my day just a little less awesome. Then I fell down the stairs after Speech and now have a giant bruise on my shin...again -_-. I probably looked like a clumsy person T_T I wanna be graceful! Then I read The Awakening while i was home. A lot of people say that they don't enjoy the book, but I actually love it. I like how the women is being oppresses and she's starting to realize it, and to change that. Hopefully I can find an academic journal and finish writing a rough draft and a college essay so i can apply before Dec 1st for scholarships :P College applications are starting to catch up to me and I DO NOT LIKE THAT. Stresses the FUCK outta me. :/
I went for a run today, and my ears started to hurt cause i forgot to cover them :P. But it was a nice run ^__^. Also I hung with Paige, Phil, and Dan at Subway and Blockbuster, then we met Cat and Jiselle up at Dairy Queen. I love Jiselle and Cat they are so much fun!! And I need to watch a lot of movies MIDNIGHT SHOWING OF NEW MOON FRIDAY :D:D:D:D:D:D so excited. READY TO CRY XD.
Sometimes I wish i could know the truth about everything. Figure out when someone tells me a lie or doesn't tell me anything, that would be really nice. If I had a power i think i would choose the power of wisdom. I need me some wisdom, i hate how I'm perceived as naive. BECAUSE I'M NOT.
Church leaders trying to shut down our bible study, but we're resisting and I feel like a protestant XD.
I like the song "The Only Exception" by paramore ^__^ reminds me of my views on relationships...even though that's kinda sad.
Goals that I want to set for myself: Drive to downtown Annapolis ( I've never driven there yet XD), Get applications in by Dec 1st, Get a job during winter, find Dan a cool xmas gift :D

caryatid

Suddenly Everything has Changed

2009-11-15T21:27:00.000-05:00

I feel so large.
I'm going to fix that.
I feel like I'm behind on everything.
I'm going to fix that.
I feel like i don't speak my mind as much as I should.
I'm going to fix that.

caryatid

Misguided Ghosts

2009-11-14T10:33:00.001-05:00

I hate being so calm, i should try letting go every once in a while. Harvey's going well, i read backstage and do nothing after Act 1 Scene 1. LOL i didn't get the student Page position with the Maryland General Assembly -_- Andrew Fisher did of course. But I'm ok with that, because now I don't have to deal with another responsibility especially if I want to get a job after I'm done applying everywhere.
For the last week it's rained constantly, and the wind is so harsh it can lift you off your feet! Crazy. I've been listening to the song "misguided ghosts" by Paramore a lot lately. It makes me feel stable? i think that's the word.
I have to write an outline for my Senior Paper this weekend. Orlando is such a great book!I feel like I learned a lot from it :).

I'm just one of those ghosts
traveling endlessly
don't need no roads
infact they follow me
this is life
and pain is just a simple compromise

caryatid

Health

2009-11-11T16:25:00.001-05:00

Alright, so lately I've been seriously lacking on my health. It's gotten bad, really really bad. I jiggle >.<. SO to fix that issue I've decided on making a workout plan! I think it will actually work because I did that a while back and then some and it worked! :D So hopefully I stay fit this fall/winter :).
Wicked was awesome! I love being in the city, and I think it's where I wanna be ^__^. Glinda was my favourite! She's so funny XD and I like the view of Oz. I would have never thought of it that way. Now I think I'll have to read the book ^__^ Haha, my book list is growing tremendously XD.
GLEE finally comes back on tonight :D I am totally pumped for that! XD OO and HARVEY is TOMORROWWWW. I feel like it all happened so fast! And I think everyone has improved greatly, buttttt I do still think the show isn't as funny as it could be. I do wish I had more parts in the play, but I also kinda like leaving early and having time to do homework.
I got two of my recommendations in to Sof and Wolff. I need to find Miss Blose but she got married, and is now Madame Corpella! Mrs. Brumbaugh is the french sub until she comes back from her Honeymoon ^__^.

Caryatid

Wicked

2009-11-03T15:38:00.000-05:00

I'm excited for tomorrow. Last time i was in NYC was summer 2008 with Veronica! It'll be like a mini-vacation away from school lol.
Today went by REALLY REALLY slow...
There's a teacher at my school who's creepy.
I can't find my headphones.
I haven't felt this free in a while.
Although my back's in pain.
I still feel pretty great :)
Tomorrow will make it even better.

caryatid

q2q

2009-11-02T19:46:00.000-05:00

I can't believe you would say those things. You're a lost cause to me now. I'm done trying. Sure I miss you, and you say you miss me. But that must have been a lie.
Are there any honest people left in this world?
I don't believe there are.
That frightens me, because i live off honestly. If you're to be trusted please stay true to me. If you're going to be a trickster...get out of my life now.
Q2Q today, fail. 3 hours late -_-
Excited for NYC Wednesday!
Life moves at you pretty fast. So if you don't stop to look around every once in awhile you might miss it.

Caryatid

Sweet Tea

2009-10-29T17:30:00.001-04:00

Halloween is almost upon us! And applications deadlines are as well :/ I've decided not to apply Early Decision anywhere because of all the binding contracts, and I don't want to do that to myself lol. This blog helps me keep my mind in track because it's everywhere at once so I'm listing the colleges again because I've had some :)
Marymount Manhatten
St. Johns College
William and Mary
George Mason
James Madison
Drexel
The reason I'm applying to Drexel is because I want to see if I can get in and they gave me this special offer so I don't have to pay an application fee! :D Also St.Johns doesn't do application fees, so might as well apply :). I'm not gonna let my mother limit my choice of applying to where I actually want to go.
Today was supposed to be PhotoClub, butttt Sammy canceled it and we're not doing it every week now, we're just doing it every other week :P. I would have gladly taken over this week like I did last week but it's whatevs. I don't think Sammy realizes that I'm willing to help her XD haha.
People were giving me so many compliments today! I missed wearing crazy outfits. I know a while back I said I was going back to them, but this time I'M FERREAL. I forgot how good it made me feel to wear those things and to be myself instead of boring t-shirt and jeans girl :P.
OK tomorrow I'm giving SAT scores to Guidance and asking about recommendation forms because I REALLY NEED TO DO THATTT. AHHHHHHUGGGHH. hmph, I found a lot of new music the other day, I'm loving Couer de Pirate ^___^ makes me smile.
Tomorrow I have a Physics Midterm...that I just found out about today, grrrreat. O! and an Othello test for AP Lit. Should be kinda easy since we all studied today. I also need to find info for my persuasion Speech. And for Global studied we're painting Ceiling Tiles as our country's Flag. Costa Rica FTW! I hope to do well on everything tomorrow T_T.
I got my SAT scores back today :P. I pretty much did the same. It sucks. First time I took it I got a 1470, this time I got a 1480. I don't think my mom realizes that I can't do well without taking a prep course! I mean really? Just going into the SATs not knowing what to expect and not studying for them AT ALL. What is she thinking? I try to study alone but I can't do it right, because I don't know what'll be on the test :/. I blame it all on money. I bet if I had $300 to pay for the courses I would have done better on the SAT :P. Being a nonrichkid sucks :(
I think I'm going to start on some applications.
Forking Baseball canceling mah GLEE

caryatid

Sen10r

2009-10-27T18:44:00.000-04:00

This picture reminds me of my friends ^___^
Today I took my senior pictures :). It's kind of exciting :D. Whenever I tell my family about certain colleges i like. They all looked shocked and then tell me I can't do that. I hate how everything i do has to be in a budget.I DON'T WANT TO BE IN A MOTHERFUCKING BUDGET. Ever since I was little i was told i could do ANYTHING, keeping me to a budget does not support that statement. So I'm saying fuck the budget, and applying to places i know I'll actually wanna go to. :P.
I'm going to Bible Study tonight! I love bible study, It's so nice. We're learning about the women of the bible right now and i love that! Cause you normally don't hear much about the women of the Bible.
Need to get started on Homework.

caryatid

Sick

2009-10-26T13:05:00.000-04:00

Homecoming played the crappiest music in thee world. But I had a nice time at dindin with Dan, Paige, and Phil :D. And after the Dance at Casey's. And the next day with Dan...or "Nad" XD. So last night at 3:00 i woke up because my stomach hurt like hell. So i went into the bathroom because I was afraid I was going to barf...and sure enough about 5 minutes later I barf. UGH i hate that :( cause i have no control. I think it's cause i ate too much over the weekend. O well.
Today I stayed home, i'm feeling much better now. Mom handed in my scholarship application, hopefully i do well with it. I need to finish writing an essay for colleges. And i need to get recommendation forms in. :P i just kinda finshed p the Horatio Alger scholarship...butttt i decided not to do it because of what its asking for. I don't have that stuff :P. Elk's scholarship will do for now.
I had the craziest dream last night. It was like a story! When i woke up i wrote it all down so i wouldn't forget it! I'm gonna tell Dan about it later today :D. I wanna go on a walk, i think i will.
Tomorrow I have Senior Pictures! Hopefully they turn out nice :)

caryatid

Homecoming

2009-10-24T11:21:00.000-04:00

I'm excited for tonight :D. I think it will be a lot of fun :D. My mom got on me soooo bad today about the shoes i was gonna wear...:P I guess now that I think about it...those shoes aren't the best i could have picked out XD but i still like them. So she gave me her old grandma shoes -_-. I'm not too thrilled to wear them :P. I straightened my hair! :D I think it will look good like that :). O! and mom's making me wear stockings. I kinda like those though. I just wish she wasn't such a complete BITCH. ugh.
Well the interview went well! And my project went well :D. so thumbs up for christieee woOOoOooOooO. hah.
I miss lily, and brittany. I wish lily never moved and stayed here with meeee T_T. And i wish Britt and I never lost touch, because now she's...i don't even know. I wanna hang out again because it's britt! It's always been Christie and Britt. Now it's Christie and Dan. and Brittany and Mason...No more Christie and Britt :(. But it's ok, i figured it'd be hard to stay in touch after high school anyway...No actually, i never thought it would be hard to stay in touch with Brittany sighsighsighsighsigh. I still have Paigeypoo :) going to dinner with her phil and dan tognighttt. yummy.
I hope they play good music tonight and not crap ghetto music -_- that really bothers me.

caryatid

Almost

2009-10-15T19:26:00.000-04:00

Everything's all coming together now :). My happy isn't back though :/ I blame that on lack of Girl friends...sigh. I'm happy with just Dan and guy friends and all, i just want the whole "christie, paige, brit, and cat" thing back together. We always had a good time together :). IDK what's going on with everyone anymore. I know i should call, but they're all probably busy, and Brit hates being near me now. So i need new girlfriends. Or i need to get out more and find something to do other than homework T_T.
I went to Starbuck's today and got a chai tea latte. They always hit the spot :). It's FREEZing and i need a coat. It took Sammy FOREVER to make the thing though and it wasn't as amazing as i would have liked it to be...but it was still delicious ^___^.
I am going with Amber on a college visit tomorrow to William and Mary. So that should be fun! Maybe we'll walk around Williamsburg and look at all the shops ^___^. I'm almost done my Elks scholarship ^__^ i just need Mrs.Nies to fill out the rest :). I wonder how i did on my SATs :). I hope better than last time :).
I wanna make another ripple effect

caryatid

Scooby Doo

2009-10-14T12:38:00.000-04:00

I will never get tired of watching Scooby, Daphne, Freddy, Shaggy, and Velma solve those mysteries! I just found out his real name is Scoobert XD.
Having no school for the rest of the week is relaxing but i have so much schoolwork to do T_T i need to get started on that, and on college applications GODAMNIT. I hope i can get it all done in time :/.
I have an Interview with the Maryland General Assembly for the student page position October 22nd! I'm excited for it, but Andrew and Alex are also going out for it, and Olivia. I think i can beat Olivia because she's not as energetic. And i think i can beat Alex and Andrew because they've never taken AP Govt! so HA. I hope i get the position, it would be AWESOME
I think I've finally decided on a career. I want to be a Judge. Like in a courtroom with the whole gown and everything. I know i don't seem like a person who would do well in that position, but i believe I'd be really good at it :).
My brother didn't go on the bus today, he woke up "late". He didn't wanna take the psats lol. Dan took them though, i hope he does better than me on them. They say that boys do better on the Sats than girls do. But girls do better in college than boys do. So i guess it kinda balances out lol.
I really wanna go to Massachusetts, that's all i can think about lately. I had the most fun there. It's like my kinda environment. Or New Hampshire and Connecticut. I like it there a lot too :)
WTF IS FRUITABLES. A fruit and a vegetable mixed together in a juice box. MMMMM tastyyyy, lol the commercial makes me want them.
Although i wanna be a Judge, I wonder....Who has the right to Judge someone?

caryatid

Stoopid

2009-10-09T15:20:00.000-04:00

GEEZUZ don't get all worked up over a picture. Why the hell would you even get worked up about it?! It's a picture, on facebook, that we took together while we were having fun. Why the hell would you get pissed off if i uploaded it?
Maybe it's because we don't hang out anymore and it reminds you of the better times when we were best friends. IDK but it's stupid shit to hear that you get pissed like that.
This is why we don't hang out anymore.
Not because of boyfriend issues(although that did push us away).
This is the main problem.
You're fucking mind.

caryafuckingtid

sighs of failure

2009-10-06T21:24:00.000-04:00

I can't do it all
I'm fragile
I'm hopeless
I'm not perfect
but i will be free

caryatid

Sailing

2009-10-03T12:16:00.001-04:00

Last night was Whiteout! WE WON :D:D:D i was actually into it too, i totally understand football now! IT'S AMAZING ^___^. I was stuck in the parking lot for awhile though because of all the crazy parents and kids who parked in ILLEGAL SPOTS. damn them...Then went to Nic's. Eric was there :D. I saw Molly and Daniel too! And then i picked up my brother with Dan and Eric...i like picking up my brother with them XD. Me and nic rushed to Dairy Queen only to find out that it doesn't close til 10:30 FAIL.
Yesterday before the game i was really stressed though. I had so much stuff to do with projects and scholarships, i don't know if i can do it by myself :/ But I'm trying my best :). I have an agenda for schoolwork, and a notebook for collegework. UGH mom's always telling me what to do with that too! She has no idea though. She didn't go to college. She keeps telling me VIRGINIA SCHOOLS BLAH BLAH NO WHERE ELSE. And I don't even wanna be in Virginia. So now number one choice is Marymount Manhatten. I'm really excited about it too ^___^.
I went to Chesapeake Cats just now and filled out an application form. I want to volunteer with the Cats because i love Cats! I even have a kitty purse XD. I met one cat there today who was named Brandon and he was have Siamese half Himalayan. I WANT HIM SO BAD!!! T_T After a few minutes in the place I started feeling my allergies but i ignored it so it's all good. I hope i can help out with it as much as possible :).
Going to see Zombieland later today, i wonder how that'll go ^__^
I really wanna go sailing :)

caryatid

Empty

2009-09-27T12:55:00.000-04:00

That's the way i feel. Time for a run.

caryatid

College Night at KIHS

2009-09-22T20:44:00.000-04:00

College Night was surprisingly very beneficial :D. I went with Dan and we all got tons of papers to look at and booklets to read. Then they started doing the speeches with the Guidance Counselors and i realized just how close i am to leaving this place. Maybe not going too far, but starting a new chapter. Alone. Without my family and close friends. Around completely new and different people. It's thrilling and exciting to ponder on. While we were at college night Dan seemed really stressed, but i don't think he hs much to worry about. i went to college night as a junior and barely did anything they gave me. I wish i would have because then this would be easier, but it's still easy enough to handle. ^__^
I'm applying to be a page in the Maryland state legislature in Annapolis for two weeks this school year. Hopefully i get in :). I'm excited to do this because it would look AWESOME on school applications. Hopefully i will get in in enough time for applications :D.
Tomorrow i have to retake my physics test because i FAILED my first one. I have NEVER failed a test before. I cry whenever i think of physics cause McKim doesn't teach me very well T_T. He's a great guy, just not a great teacher :P. Hopefully i do better, I'm gonna read the chapter in the book tonight :). I also have to pick up my new retainer from Dr.Philbins tomorrow because my old one of TWO-THREE years broke lol. Finally i get a new one :D. Then i have college night at Chesapeake college. The schools i wanna look at that will be there are: George Mason, James Madison, High Point, Marymount Manhatten, Towson(just because lol), University of New Haven, Virginia Tech, and Washington College. Maybe something else will interest me there as well :). I'm really liking St. Johns College. In October me and my aunt shannon are taking a trip over to it, and hopefully i'll be able to do an overnighter there to get a good feel for it :D. I think it's my number one so far. I like the curriculum a whole lot, especially since idk what i wanna major in at all lol.
OO and tomorrow's ambers BDAYYYY :D:D:D:D:D should be good ^___^

caryatid

I Can't Wait to be Free

2009-09-21T22:25:00.000-04:00

I'm so busy. I have something to do everyday, in fact multiple things to do everyday. It's weird being busy. I used to have my time to reflect but now I have none of that. I kinda want it back, but once I'm not busy I'm just gonna want to be busy again XD. I'm fickle like that lol.
Listening to music is always calming even if its dance music. I think we should be like the Asians and wake up in the morning, go outside, and just start screaming. Good stress reliever. ^___^
Global Studies test tomorrow on Geography, Religion, and the maps. We won the jeopardy today so we get 8 extra points :D Owl City always sounds cute :)
i find left 4 dead a fun game. Even though i suck XD. Eric and Luc are good teachers though. Guild wars is fun. I need to go on more...
I like the book Heart of Darkness, a lot of people don't but I think it's pretty interesting. I can't wait to finish it.
I also can't wait to be free n__n

caryatid

Harvey

2009-09-11T23:27:00.000-04:00

So i got into Harvey :D. I was really excited about that and very happy i actually made something. And later that day i found out i got into SGA as well. So i go home, eat cracker barrel, then i go to the meeting. And when i go there i expect to get miss kelley, but NO. I get THE MAID...i have one line, consisting of three words. It sucks, i was thinking of quitting but all my friends are in it and maybe I'll have a sexy outfit :D
So i go to the football game, but no one was there, and it was boring. So i left for Nics, and i talked to mic for awhile. And tomorrow i go to get my haircut with veronica, then i drop her off at work and then a surprise :D. Dan comes home tomorrow. I hope we can talk about the situation because i want to and i think i deserve to know exactly what happened
^___^

caryatid

mundane

2009-09-08T23:28:00.000-04:00

stayed home today. have a cold, mic thinks it's swine XD. its not lol. Listening to music. dan's still in disney. I have so much going on now! i looked at my calender and there's something going on everyday this week! lol physics is kinda annoying...:P. Auditions are tomorrow, i think i'm gonna try out. I've never tried out for a play before. hopefully i do well. My brother was mean to Brett Levy today, i'm mad at him. Mom found out about this drinking party he went to XD. Funnyyyy. i had a thin mint blizzard today :D. It was delish
all-in-all: good day :)

caryatid

New VP hollaaaa

2009-09-04T01:16:00.000-04:00

Yeaaa! Vice President of photography club :D. This will be awesome because now i can get back into my old hobby :). Today was grrrreat! I went to dinner with Dan, Paige, and Phil and then we made a fire and smores and went swimming in our underwear. Phil's a great speaker, he can get his message across way better than anyone I've ever heard before. I love Phil :). I love Dan a lottttt, but I'm on punishment: NO CHEEK KISSES!!! T_T
how will i live? :( lololol
Great day, hopefully a sign for a great year. I love suddenly realizing that I'm the big kid in the school this year. Definitely looking forward to what senior year has got for me ^___^

caryatid

Get It Together

2009-08-31T22:11:00.000-04:00

Focus, Focus, Focus.
Get your work done.
Don't listen to that nag, nag, nag. Fight through it.
Get your way, accept nothing else.
You will have a great year; and she isn't going to ruin it for you.

caryatid

calcutta

2009-08-10T15:59:00.000-04:00

I never did or said anything to deserve you to ignore me. Stop acting like you're in middle school and handle this like a mature person. Really I'd love to just yell in your face right now about how stupid you are and how ignoring me is not the way to go about this. If i talk to you about this at all i will make sure i get my point across and you understand that what you're doing is intolerable. I never stopped being your friend. I have other responsibilities and friends. I still hang out, just not as much. You don't live down the street anymore. I don't even know what the problem is cause you didn't even tell me UGH. I'm not responsible for what Dan and Phil say about you. And deleting me off socializing websites won't make things better.
get a clue

caryatid

Waiting

2009-06-19T18:08:00.000-04:00

last night was interesting XD. I can't believe Masons parents tolerated that XD, but i love the Leibys so much ^__^. They are so sweet :). I'm loving how Brit doesn't remember anything; makes me giggle.
another party tonight, at Paige's house lol. They're gone but Paige said we could hang out there with her pool and stuff; i think it's the same people from last night coming ^__^. Should be fun.
I need to live :)

caryatid

Pygmalion

2009-06-17T16:56:00.001-04:00

"self-destructive
little girl
pick yourself up
don't blame the world
so you screwed up
but it's gonna be ok"

man i love this book/play whatever it is. So funny. I'm listening to making christmas? i've gotta change that XD. I've found some good songs lately :D musics coming back ^__^. Seeing as now i understand songs more i'm starting to actually like and enjoy music.
I can't wait til this week and the next NO DAN!! WOOHOOO lol syke XD. I'll miss him but i'm looking forward to lots of fun ^__^.
If he doesn't care, and she doesn't care, then i don't care. Because i have his love and that's better than what she has n__n.
Molly texted me today about Otakon, i don't know whats going on, but if there's a chance i can go i'll take it ^__^ i enjoyed otakon last year. Minus Cameron of course, ugh. Never bring that kid anywhere with you XD. I'm going to go to the library soon to start my summer projects because i want them done this year XD.

caryatid

Trinkets

2009-06-15T19:01:00.000-04:00

i don't feel angry, i should but i don't. I'm worried that i'll randomly get angry in a few weeks...but i'm usually not like that so that shouldn't happen. I don't know what to say to her, what am i suppose to say?
i've gone on hanging out with her not knowing, am i just supposed to pretend the same way? I have no idea what to do, or what i'm doing.
I wish i knew what to say, i just want everything to be good again. sigh

I was watching the secret life today, and i love episode 2! :D. I feel like there's a show on tonight that i'm going to miss :/. And Jons an asshole and i hope i never have to see his creeper face again! He's so mean to my mom. I didn't tell my mom about what happened, she wouldn't like that very much..

I hope everythings honest now :)

caryatid

.

2009-06-09T21:06:00.000-04:00

im being taugh a lesson.
why?

Noodles

2009-05-27T15:30:00.001-04:00

I think i need to get to that place in my life where there's only one choice and that choice will bring good things. That would be nice; no desicion-making. I'm eating Alfredo noodles, i made some for my brother too. I'm being nice today :]. Burtn my wrist with boiling water AWESOMEEE.
Britt doesn't want to be my friend anymore because i don't hang out with her as much. Paige and Courtney think it's cause she's jealous, but i don't think its that. I think it's just one of those things when she gets so into something that she starts to believe all these things that have really only been going on inside her own head. She's done it before, it most likely can happen again :/.
Bible Study showdown yesterday >.< i don't like fights. I didn't think Cate and Courtney were gonna have a battle over wanting to do something different. Cate shouldn't have overreacted and got mad at how some people were forming a little get-together while she was listening to the speaker. But also Courtney kinda shouldn't have gotten angry at Cate. They should of just did their own thing. But i'm more on Courtney's side in this. :P
Haven't talked to Veronica much at all. Britt's evidently never speaking to me again. So i've been doing my work and thinking of busy things, like where am i gonna live when i grow up. I'm thinking Cape Cod, or somewhere in Connecticut. That would be nice ^__^. Near all the cool places like the beach and new york city. I'm starting to study for sats, yikes T_T. Got new glasses, i like my hair up now.
Most likely quitting CLassic Pizzza soon. They don't give me a schedule, they're mean and blame everything on me. I don't like them :P and they don't have a scheduled payday for me. I might just tell them now that i quit and get a new job later. But i reallly need moneyyyy FORKINASFUHSDALGKNLSDGLSKGNSL -_-. Whatevs. I can always babysit Sailor Ann n__n.
The ants are gone
hallelujah!

caryatid

Iole

2009-05-17T20:13:00.001-04:00

Whenever i talk to myself it's always like there's actually someone else i'm talking to. I like that, because that way i can come to myself with my problems instead of telling other people. Even though it's fun to tell others n__n.
I got a cheetah print dress tooodayyyy :D and shorts and a green tshirt ^__^. I can drive across the bridge!! woop woop. even though it's scary with lots of wind! I still have loads of homework to do :P. WEIRD DREAMS about this guy named "Iole"(but i called him "I" in my dream XD) who likes to put knifes in his mouth and bite my arm. It's scary. And his mom doesn't like me XD.
Then in another dream i had like two weeks ago 'I' was in it and he was older but he looked young and he had pointy teeth like knifes (i guess he didn't need the knifes anymore) and he was chasing me (but it was in a guys point of view). We were in a city with lots of streets. HE'S SO WEIRD, i don't think i like 'I' XD.
There's a spider on my cieling...but i can't reach it T_T IT'S HUGE i like cried when i saw it XD.
Mom's working late all week, but i get the car saturday!! :D and sunday woop woop ^___^.

caryatid

Schedules

2009-05-13T17:51:00.000-04:00

In Algebra 2 today kovach, britt, and i were the only ones who did there homework last night, so tonight we only had to do like 6 problems while everyone else had to do 15 ^__^. Then during Algebra the guidance called me down and i had to redo my schedule. sighsighsighsigh, i hate how the way my schedule is, i want to change it again, maybe drop some other class...idk, i just feel like my schedule isn't good enough. I feel like i'm not good enough for any school, i don't know what i wanna do, i try to think on it, but nothing comes to mind. I've been reading like crazy, i finished 3 books this past week and it's awesome n_n, i missed reading. My mom flipped today about car insurance but we have it all figured out now ^__^. I'm glad problems are being solved fast lately. I hate things that go unanswered for days, drives me crazy. My mom went to the outlets the other day and Kelly Ramsey was in Tommy Hilfiger and she told my mom i could get a job there. My mom's making me apply, but i guess i'm ok with that, i want another job anyway, food places make me angry.
I need a car for next year, there's no way i'm getting one, but i do want one...it sucks not having one there all the time, sometimes i just want to leave.
I found my glasses! This weekend i'm getting a new pair though. And my mom promised we'd go shopping so i'm getting happy ^__^. I love clothes, it might be unhealthy to love clothes as much as i do. I used to want to design them. I actually still have them somewhere, i'm not gonna lie my designs were awesome! I made this purple dress that was flowy with white flowers everywhere and it was sooooo cute! it never came to life though :P. Maybe someday it will ^__^. I also made this red dress with a big giant bow and it was all tight around certain edges and loose in others, and that also never came to life :P. I did all that between 8th and 9th grade when i realized i had to find a realitic goal. I never found that goal, i hope i do soon though :/. I kinda wish i never stopped my other goal, because i was actually dedicated ad happy trying to reach for it. Maybe i'll start doing that stuff as a hobby and see where it goes from there. That sounds like a good idea n_n.
Sometimes i hate talking about the future, because it's all so uncertain. And we all have these hopes that we want to be true so bad. It sucks when those hopes are failures, makes you not want to hope anymore. sigh -_-

caryatid

Gah

2009-05-08T08:11:00.000-04:00

My Mom and I got into a fight last night. It was really really lame. She first came into my room and asked me what i was gonna do this weekend. So i told her that I was going to Molly's party after work on Friday for like an hour and then heading over to brits. But then i said "i just don't have any money to get her a gift, i think i'm gonna use my paycheck to get her something" and she freaked out and started yelling at me about how i need to give her all my money. And how over the summer i'm not allowed to have fun all i can do is work, everyday...So i'm like mom your psycho, and i got upset. I just don't understand why all of a sudden she needs all my money, when we were fine before...nothings changed, we haven't bought anything new that we need to pay for. Unless she did without telling us. Most likely -_-, all i know is that i'm keeping half my paycheck every time i get it. She can just deal with it like she always has. I'm being mean T_T, but she was being mean too. SO :P. sighsighsighsighsigh. I hate moneyyyyyy. She even took alll my bday money, and all my savings...so i really have nothing T_T. Lol i was telling Dan that yesterday, in the car, and i ran over a curb for the second time this week! T_T_T_T_T_T
I was realllllly embarrassed >.<. sighsighsighsighsigh
AP final today!!! WoOOOOOOOooOooOO, i haven't studied yet :P. I'll do that on the bus or something. DAMMIT i need to do my survey too T_T_T_T_T. FML
Whatever, i'll live and get it all done.

On the plus side i'm drinking hot chocolate right now ^__^. I look pretty cute :D. I got to hang out with dan like everday this week n_n. I have good grades :). I'm back into reading! And i get paid today :D
lol there's a sunny side to every situation XD

caryatid

Gloomy

2009-05-03T12:23:00.000-04:00

It's kind of gloomy outside right now :\. This weekend was fun! I got two of the things on my list done! :D. Friday i went bowling with lots of people, and then yesterday i went kayaking/jetskiing and it was so much fun ^__^, lots of fun for the weekend. Today paige, phil, dan and i were supposed to hang out. But phil has to help his grandparents move in to their house, so paige said monday we could ^__^. AHHHH AP TEST TOMORROW O.o. I studied a little bit XD. I need to read more on the bureaucracy T_T.
My mom's at jons so i can't go anywhere :P. I really need to start investing my money into a car :/. sighsighsigh. I'm gonna try to work at the marina.
I want to hang out with Amber and Veronica soon :] I miss em. And brittany i haven't hung out with her in a while. Well we hung out yesterday but that was with lots of people. we need our own sleepover lol.
I want a giant window wall when i get a house! Like in the picture! lol

caryatid

Funny Face

2009-04-29T22:03:00.000-04:00

I want to be carefree n__n
that face seems to fit
caryatid

hmm

2009-04-27T22:46:00.000-04:00

So i've come to the learn that since i'm so used to not getting anything i want, i don't want anything at all. And that actually makes sense. ^___^

caryatid

lovesong

2009-04-22T21:53:00.000-04:00

Someone told me today that "i could see you being a good mom ^__^". It was so cute! I was very flattered. But i never thought i wanted kids until today XD. Now i want a little boy with curly hair, and i want him to be really shy because that's adorable! :D.
I really hope Manny isn't at work tomorrow T_T, he kinda scares me. Mary told me all these stories about him and i don't want to get into his crowd. I'll be raped fersure. He's always touching me and then running away, it's creepy. He's like 20 something. ugh >.<
School was fun. i love Ian Richards!!! and Ray and Jahmaul XD. And Christian. And all those other boys that bother hailee and i.
Britt updated me on her cold sore through text? XD. She just "thought i should know" weirdo.
I really wanted to wear shorts tomorrow, or a skirt. But it won't be warm out til saturday T_T.
I think i'll wear a dress anyway ^__^.
I saw a baby picture of Dan todayyY!!!!!!!! He's so cute!!!! :D:D:D:D:D hehe ^__^. I was with Sophia all after school XD. She's funny, but never gets tired O.o. So strange.

caryatid

Ecclesiastes

2009-04-21T21:15:00.000-04:00

"Words of wisdom spoken softly
make much more sense
then the shouts of a ruler
to a crowd of fools"
Ecclesiastes 9:17

"The power to charm a snake
does you no good
if it bites you anyway"
Ecclesiastes 10:11

I don't think anyone knows my love for ecclesiastes XD, i could read it all day even though it's a short chapter XD. I shared those two scriptures today and everyone was like I LOVE THEMM why haven't i seen that beforeeeee lol. I felt pretty proud on finding them. ^___^.
I most likely have homework..I'll do it on the bus tomorrow :]. AP TEST IN A WEEK O_O. Scared scared scared scared.
Mom took the reast of my moneyyyy, awesomeeeeee. Lol no spring clothes for me! :/ no hobby for me :/. That's ok, maybe once i get paid again i can go thrifting :D, i love doing that. Until then, magazines FTW.
A mango sounds pretty good right now :], too bad Rita's closes at 9 T_T, i'll go tomorrow after school if my mom comes home early ^___^.
Man i love Robert Frost, the book's overdue XD, idc! i'm not finished it yet! XD. The library can wait, i don't think someone's gonna be too frantic looking for Robert Frost poems :], their all online anyway.
Back painsssss, feggginajflkanjhlkdfgjakjdnhoidfjhea. sigh. SHIT i forgot to call workkkk againnnn, tomorrow i will FERSURE tell them about Friday ^__^.
My mom's ex boyfriend died today :/. He had a heart attack. I hope his family copes with it well. My mom's taking it pretty hard.

caryatid

Numb

2009-04-20T17:55:00.000-04:00

My face is Numb, the Dentist had to fix a filling i had put in by my other Dentist, she kinda failed at the filling XD. So i got a lot of money for my birthday and i was excited to buy things because i never buy anything XD. But then my mom took it so fail T_T. At least i have a job...but all my job money went to her too. 300some dollars gone :P. I just want some spring clothes. I'm gonna get back into clothes. It was my hobby and i kinda neglected it for awhile. But over the weekend i made a butterfly bow and it got me happy about making things again ^__^. SO yay hobby back! lol :D. And i'm actually listening to music right now :D. Things are looking up, but at the same time not really lol. I hate the economy. ^___^

Caryatid

51

2009-04-14T17:55:00.001-04:00

It's my 51st post XD. I'm eating Cinnamon Graham Crackers ^__^. Left homework at school -_- fml. Work on my Birthday, double fml. If Dan dies i'll cry forever T_T. Bible Study tonight :]. Cate's picking me up at 6:45. Then i'll be home by 9ish i believe. Well i have no homework so i'll get a good nights sleep :D sunny side to every situation XD. I ate so much over break...T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T my pants are tightttttttt
LOL. Mom's at Jons. I have no transporatationnnnn, it really is a fail to have your license but no car -_-. The reason why i post so many of these is because Veronica told me that if i wrote almost everyday i would get some creativity, its not working :/
No motivation, No creativity, No life :/

caryatid

lucky

2009-04-13T22:03:00.000-04:00

I'm so jealous of talented people
i want talent too :/
i've gotta find it

caryatid

Twitter

2009-04-13T12:56:00.000-04:00

lol I got a Twitter, i don't really understand it that much, it just seems like facebook but with only status updates. It's still fun though XD. SO i went to Grandma's yesterday for Easter ^___^ ate a lot, Jon came...and he's allergic to carrots and celery? So my grandma had to be careful not to add those into our dinner XD. Anyway, then i stayed up til 1:30 doing my Ap work, pretty much done...all i need to do it 4E and 5B because those were hard questions T_T.
Man i am so bad at deciding things XD. I had to write them down on a peice of paper and drop em on the floor XD. I'm gonna go showerrr.
I'm drinking rootbeer :D.
i love everyone ^___^

caryatid

MWAH

2009-04-11T20:05:00.000-04:00

oh goodness gracious T_T still haven't done my homework for ap govvvvv XD. I need to get on that, i will tonight ^___^. Tomorrow i go to Grandma's for Easter :D. My birthday is Thursday...and i actually don't want anything...again XD. Brits mom got me a cute tank top today :D. I'm going to her house later...again XD. I still need to get my flashdrive at courtneys, i really hope her dog didn't eat it T_T. That would be the worst. Pyzik would beat us T_T_T_T. Me and my mom were watching the Jill Stuart fashion show on tv. I LOVE THOSE CLOTHES OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. There was this light pink flowy dress that had like a side strap AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i died looking at it. I NEEEEEED ITITITITITITIT. XD.
I love Bonnie XD, she's so funny

caryatid

wordboner

2009-04-08T22:59:00.000-04:00

Love this picture :D. lady gaga is so funny XD, "i'm your biggest fan i'll follow you until you love me, papa, paparazzii" XD, such a creeper.
So today i stayed home and then went out with Dan and Eric to see Cate in her Skipjack idol competition ^___^. She did well. Shannon was there too :D. It was nice to see Dan.
I got that job at the pizza place :D. I work from 4 to 8 tomorrow :D, and then afterwards going to bonnies party :]. Tomorrow should be good :D.
Still need to make plans with Casey! maybe friday ^___^ or saturday lol.

caryatid

pokerface

2009-04-07T17:04:00.000-04:00

:D We had a great time in oc. SOOOOO many stories XD. One thing i learned is that there are a lot of horny boys in Ocean City O.o. A lot. And there are a lot of creepers. a lotttttttt. And the fudge factory has thee best fudge ever!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:DD:D. ^___^. I'm glad i went even though there were some bad times XD they became hilarious. Like when the window wound't go up in the rain XD, and the drunk boys chasing us on the beach XDXDXD. Friggin peed myself i swear, i thought i was gonna get raped XD. But we made it to the car and drove away in time. Poor chelsea falling out of a loft XD, and almost breaking her foot. Emily's asshole boyfriend. And Paige with that song pokerface XDXD. Omg she's so funny. We stayed at Britt's stepbrother's house :D. They were sooo nice and there kids are so funny! Madeline and Corgan have great personalities XD corgan "I had a dream last night....that i had a girlfriend!...But that's not gonna be real!!!" XD i love him. And Madeline "I have four favourite colours! pink purple silver gold.... pink and purple!!" XD.
Bible Study tonight ^___^, spring break is gonna be nice, thursday i'm gonna dedicate to my homework though XD.
Going over to Courtney Sitar's ^__^, we have to finish up our project that noone else in our group wanted to finish XD.

Caryatid

Ocean City

2009-04-05T12:12:00.001-04:00

Chelsea is getting better! and we're deffeinately going to Ocean City today :D. YAY I'm packing my things now, lol i've got two bags XD. But they're little so it shouldn't be a problem ^___^. They want to go to that dance place down there -_-...i reallllllly don't want to go to that, because it just seems lame...i just don't see the point of going to a dance place and just dancing...i can dance with the radio XD. I don't know, maybe i'm just embarrassed to go because i can't really dance like a slut XD. It's hard! XD.
Anywayyyy, i've got homework over break -_- funnnn. Checked out a Robert Frost Poem book from the library. I like his poems, they're all nature-esque, but with these symbols...hard for me to explain XD.
Driving's great :D. My mom came home early from Johns yesterday...that means she had a bad time. She said that it was just because his kids were over, but i know better than to believe that XD.
AHHHH THE BEACH AT 4:00 :D:D:D, nothing to do til then though :/. I have no money XD, only like 36 dollars that my mom gave me.
I went to Classic pizza, friday i think, with Paige, Phil, and Britt. So as we're in there Mary Williams is at the counter! lol i love her. And she was like "do any of you wanna apply hereeee?!?!" and i was like "YES!" because the people there just want a girl at the counter to take orders and answer the phone, so i wouldn't have to make the pizza :D. But anywayyy so i applied and i'm going back there on Tuesday or Wednesday, just to make sure they don't forget me XD...at least that's what Mary told me to do. lol.
YAY for random adventures to classic pizza! :D

caryatid

Kites

2009-04-04T19:27:00.000-04:00

So the day started out with me at Scoop and Shake for two hours XD, then i drove back home, without anything to do T_T. So i post that on facebook and Amber was like "Me too!". And we ended up hanging out with Nate, and flying Kites XD. It was really fun, talking with Amber's mom about colleges is fun too! XD. Now I'm listening to Mamma Mia, again XD. I'm gonna list random songs i like a lot...
"sos" mamma mia
"The winner takes it all" mamma mia
"belly up" maria mena
"that's what you get" paramore
"its one of those nights" the cab....i actually don't remember the name XD
and something by No Doubt lol.
I'm eating strawberries, cookies, and drinking rootbeer. Today was nice. I like nice. Whenever my phone vibrates i hope it's Dan XD. It's kinda pathetic, but whatever XD.
So Chelsea sprained her ankle bad T_T and she's the one driving us to Oean City tomorrow, so i'm gonna pray she gets better! :D, because we planned everything perfectly lol XD. I'm reading this book called "forever" right now, it's really good. About these seniors who fall in love and they talk about being together forever and then now they're going to different colleges and still dating. I like it ^__^
Mom's away for the night at john's...so no car T_T. FAILLLLLLL
i love driving, it's such a fail that i have no car to drive XD.
yay single parents! XD

caryatid

Guard Your Heart

2009-04-03T12:50:00.000-04:00

I don't feel single :/. But since i guess i am, i want to go to prom with someone!!!! I wanna wear a pretty dress, and dance around, T_T. SOMEONE BETTER ASK ME TO PROM lol XD.
I'm not dating anyone else til i leave this fucking island. I don't regret being with Dan...but i regret getting attached. No actually, i don't regret being attached...I regret not guarding my heart. I think that's the most important thing, that i just forgot to do :/.
I really wish i could have heard Cate's testimony about guarding your heart. I guess i'll ask her about it next tuesday ^___^.
I'm getting my happy, and i'm getting my independence :D
this is awesome
I'm going to speak my mind from this day forth. And what i say is going to be respected ^___^

caryatid

thursday

2009-04-02T16:11:00.000-04:00

Still don't know where i'm going, and now i just don't care ^___^

Once a bad thing happens...two good things happen :D. Kyle got in a lot of trouble at school the other day. And he's decided to come back into hanging out with us ^__^. He doesn't want to hang out with the troublemakers anymore. I missed him sooo much!!!!! T_T_T_T_T. I'm so glad he's back. Once he gets everything figured out me, him, and britt are all gonna play crazy taxi!!! XD.
i missed that kid :].
And Cameron...i was very...shocked? i guess XD that he texted me randomly saying that he was sorry about everything. I was hesitant at first, but i wanna be nice to him! i wanna be his friend :D. I just don't think hanging out with him would be a good idea XD. i mean i would hang with him if he was with Vero...but other than that, not on my own ^__^.
Casey and me are planning on hanging out during the break :D. Should be loads of fun fun fun :D:D:D:D love her.
And Taylor and Veronica of course. ^___^
Sunday-Tuesday going to Ocean City with all these girls XD. It was so random and last minute, but i need some fun ^___^ so i'm glad i'm going :D.
Wish i could go to the Cherry Blossom Festival but my Dad called and he's busy T_T. So i guess i'll just be lonely this weekend XD unless Casey wants to hang out with me! :D
Mom's not home tonight...so no car T_T. I feel weird that i have my license...but no car? XD
I wish i had a daddy

caryatid

bittersweet day

2009-03-31T22:13:00.000-04:00

I passed my driving test ^___^
I've decided i'm going to try at being a delegate for SGA...since NHS hates me...
I drove around all by myself today, and with Brittany once, it was awesome.
I felt so grown up
sigh
It really hasn't set in yet...i hope it doesn't at school :/

Today at Bible Study we were talking about prayer, and we each have a prayer buddy...mine was Brittany! XD
So we prayed about everything that we felt, it was awesome.
Some of us cried
i held it in! :D
i've already cried once at bible study...and that was the first night i was there XD

Reading the Bible makes me happy
i finished all of John
My favorite chapter is Ecclesiastes
lol something like that XD
i pronounce em all wrong XD

I love my friends so much
i don't feel lonely when they're around :]
there's a plan for me
:]

caryatid

tree spirits

2009-03-30T15:34:00.000-04:00

there's a plan for me
i just have no control over that plan at this moment -_-
something good will happen
hopefully :/